Sunday, October 17, 2010

My Family

Can't tell you how pleased I am by the skills of Jenny! She does an amazing job capturing the heart of my kids! Love it! Today was just one of those amazing family days! Relaxed all day, spent the afternoon with Jenny and took the kids out for Pizza....where a football game was playing of course! LOL! :o) We had a good day....I am so thankful!

Friday, October 01, 2010


I really am amazed at how things work in our life. I'm amazed at how God works.

Looking at my blog today, it was 30 days ago I posted about how proud I was of Ian's accomplishments. It's funny how drastically things can change in a short amount of time.

We've had to make some hard decisions regarding his education, but one thing has not changed....I'm still a proud momma!

Nobody will ever understand him like I do. Nobody will ever see in his eyes what I can see. I love him. I want the best for him. I want the world to see how big his heart really is.

The hard part is when I can't "make" that happen. I can't make someone like someone else. I don't have that kind of power. But what I can do is pray. I can pray for others to have eyes like Jesus to see Ian the way He does. To love him the way that He does. To have a heart like He does.

As a mother, it is so hard to watch your child go through hard times. Regardless if they have a disability or not. But if I know anything about my kids, I know they will be strong and stand firm in their beliefs and they will not torment others because they don't measure up to the worlds expectations. I want them to look at the world through the eyes of our Father and see it for what God intended it to be....instead of what man has made it.

I use to laugh when I heard my parents say the line "This will hurt me more than it will hurt you." Today....that line rang true. But because of my faith in God, I know that the clear answer was to make changes. I felt confident that I made the right decision. I felt peace.

I amazed by my son....and I am amazed by our God.

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Proud Momma! is really amazing what a differnce a year makes.

Yesterday I had the chance to meet with Ian's teachers. This is normally a very emotionally taxing day for me. I went with great anxiety....but did not allow Ian to see that in me. But somehow, I think he senses it.

He introduced me to each of his teachers one by one. I stood there....waiting....but they said nothing other than it was nice to meet me. Um...WHAT???

Each teacher commented on how nice it was to have him in class and what a great, hard working student he really is. (Imagine me with my mouth hitting the floor at this moment. I felt like I was on candid camera or being punked)

Finally we had a chance to sit and talk with the Ian's special education coordinator. Ian was forced this year with his IEP to only get to choose 1 elective instead of 2. He choose mens choir. For the second choice he was placed in a special education class titled "study skills". Ian knew from the first day that this was special ed. But he was okay with it and never complained.

As we proceeded to talk, she says...."I don't think he needs to be in here. I do not see a problem"
She proceeded to tell us that she keeps track of Ian on a daily basis and is in constant communication with his teachers and none of them have any complaints at all. They all say he is a hard worker and is making lots of friends.

Do you know how long it has taken us to get to this point? Do you know what we have been through? Do you know how long we have waited to hear those words spoken? I did everything I could to hold back tears in front of him.

So....because of his hard the end of the first semester, if this continues, they will allow him to get out of "study skills" and get in a more interesting class that is fun and exciting for him. ALSO.....they said that he only missed his reading test last year by 4 points to get his drivers they will be giving that to him again next week and they are sure he will pass it. Um...I'm a little scared on the driving permit...but hey....I have to let him grow up sometime.

So many have prayed for Ian. So many have loved him. So many have been great mentors for him. I pray they never quit.

For 15 years, we have put in a good fight all the way for him never letting him down and never letting him lose or get beat down. We've tried to teach him to be such a good young man never reallying knowing if we were going about it the right way and praying that God would guide us in the path. I feel at this point....we have least 1 thing right. :o)

Our battle in life with him is not over....but....we see a HUGE light at the beginning of a new tunnel!!!! That gives me so much reason to praise God today for the lessons He has taught me through this amazing child!

Friday, August 27, 2010

Do They See Jesus in Me

One of my all time favorite songs.....and really really really on my heart today.
I want to be everything this song says....and more.
I thank God for putting this on my heart. I need it.

Is the face that I see in the mirror
the one I want others to see
Do I show in the way that I walk in my life
The love that You've given to me
My heart's desire is to be like You
In all that I do, all I am

Do they see Jesus In Me
Do they recognize Your face
Do I communicate Your love, and Your grace
Do I reflect who You are
In the way I choose to be
Do they see Jesus In Me

It's amazing that you'd ever use me
But use me the way You will
Help me to hold out a heart of
compassionate grace
A heart that You're spirit fills
May I show forgiveness and mercy
The same way You've shown it to me

Now I want to show all the world who You are
The reason I live and breathe
So You'll be the One that they see
When they see me


I've learned from a wise person over the past few months to ask God to help me to be slow to speak, and quick to listen so that I might be able to hear God, instead of me always searching for answers.
That's comes as a challenge from time to time and situation to situation.

I use to think I couldn't hear the message that God was sending me. Nah...I know I can. What happens is I have to be quiet long enough for Him to get a word in. :o)

This practice is not always easy....and it's not easy to teach my kids. But I hope they can learn by my example when I am able to do it, and do it well.

On those other days, I pray for grace.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

What is important?

Several weeks ago,I cracked the face of my phone. It is no longer pretty and has flaws, but it works.

Once upon a time, I would have been a person that rushed out to get it replaced as fast as possible. Not because I needed to, but becuase it doesn't look good.

Things have changed. Not sure where they really changed along the way but they have.
When it broke, I remember looking on the computer and calling the sprint store to see about getting a new phone. My contract is up, I'm well on my way to getting that really nice phone now, but I stopped.

Haven't looked at it again since.

Sure, it would be nice, but I went down the list of things in my life that I need and the things I don't need and the phone just didn't make the cut. I just don't feel the time is right and God is putting it on my heart to spend wisely right now.
I admit, I'm not one of those that feels I hear clear answers from God, but this has been one where he says "You don't need it"

Satan puts lots of things in our paths and clearly makes us feel that we need the things in this life that we really don't. I, for one, am going to listen to the message that God is giving me right now and spend money on the more important things in life.

For the first time in life, for as long as I can remember, I have the money to go buy something I want.....and I am not doing it.
Will I ever get a new phone? Yes, I will. But I will wait patiently until the timing is right.

There are just more important things in this life.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010


Tonight we had an opportunity to go sing in the community at a retirement village. I didn't realize how much I would feel blessed after doing so.
I love the elderly population and how much life they have in them. Their dreams are still alive more than ever before.

I loved to look into their eyes as we sang. I did my best to make eye contact with each person in the room. Some of them made me laugh as they would just smile when they noticed they were being looked at. Some of them almost made me cry a couple of times. But most of all, I could see their hearts. They really loved having us there. I enjoyed my conversations at the end the most.

One woman told me "We have people come and sing, or play music, but not very often do we have kids that will come sing to us"

I told another woman I could hear her singing along with us and she said "I once sang in my high school choir! This brought back that memory"

Another woman said "I came down here just to hear you....and I live on the 3rd it's a journey!!!" She was so thankful she made the trip! I told her I hoped it was like a mini vacation and she just laughed!!!!

I observed at the end a man coming up to another woman (not his wife as neither were married I found out) and he said to her, "Now I will be back in 10 minutes to pick you up over there (the courtyard) so we can watch our show"

A gentleman sitting alone appeared unapproachable said in a very slow and stuttering voice "I'm really glad you came tonight. Singing makes me happy"

I could go on and on about the things they said in the short time we were there but most of all I know my heart was touched by just looking into their eyes tonight. It wouldn't have mattered if I sang or not. What mattered is that we took the time out of our lives tonight to invest in others that have invested so much in this world already. I was honored to have this opportunity.

I hope when I grow older, people will come to visit and bless that I can take my turn at that age, and bless them.

Thursday, August 05, 2010

A new favorite

I have become a huge fan of Joyce Meyer. This woman just floors me at her depth of her own spiritual walk with Christ. I love to listen to her. I am drawn to listening to her. She speaks in ways that I understand and that can help me in my walk with Christ.

Her biography caught my attention and after reading her life story, what she has lived through and how she survived a hard life. Now she takes her life and her story and turns it around for the better. She preaches the word of God with such passion and grace.

She has a new book coming out in September called "Power Thoughts" and I can't wait to get a copy. I've never read any of her books, but I look forward to reading them and becoming closer to Christ through some devotions with her.

I love it when I find a new author/teacher that I really like.

Friday, July 30, 2010

The Last Night

Well....its now 1:20am and I'm back to my cabin. Today and tonight were amazing. Connections were made, friendships built, all for the sake of glorifying God together.

The worship tonight was unbelieveable. Didn't matter if it was in key or was powerful. I remember hearing worship like this as a teen, but never remember it being quite this powerful. My breath was taken away tonight by the hearts engaged in worship. I couldn't even sing for a bit. I just had to sit and take it all in.

We had our Senior coffee tonight and they made me laugh all night. I have had one amazing ab workout.

I bonded with kids this week that I never knew. I have memories to last a lifetime now. I can't wait to come back again and do this all again next year.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Day 3

Today seemed like the long day to me, but yet, another fun one.
I have become Chads right hand woman in the kitchen. Seems appropriate since I don't have a small group to lead this week. Being the nurse, I get ALL of them when they are sick! We are making a great team.

Today was filled with the same rotation of activities and classes. I sat in on Brians class today which talked about how each of us are unique but we strive for perfection. Even when we can achieve it in our eyes, we are perfect the way that God made us.
Tonight we had the drama portion of the camp talent show. Tomorrow will be the music portion. All I can say is I am totally impressed with the creativity that these kids can come up with. I laughed so hard. UNTIL.....the last skit involved a dead fish that was caught earlier in the day. The skit ended when they came toward me with the fish and I took off running down the hill and Nick and the fish chasing me. Oh my goodness. I have never ran so fast in my life!!! And he finally caught up with me and touched me with it! Ewwwwww!!!!!!!! He's lucky I like him or he'd be getting a payback tomorrow.

Our devotional tonight was long and filled with such strong emotions. Seems like the middle of the week is when that always happens. But to hear the hearts of these teens is so inspiring. I have to say, the devotionals are probably my most favorite part of camp.

We had another baptism today. This one from our youth group. Its always so refreshing to watch someone give their life to Christ.

Until tomorrow......

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Day 2

Today I am reminded of the everything without complaining. That's been my goal since Sunday...and I have had plenty to complain about, but I've prayed it away and been content with my circumstances.
I'm staying in the nurses cabin....which on a normal day is great. Comfy beads, no kids, and I'm all alone. :-) that's the good part.
However, the air conditioner has not worked well and has been getting hotter each day. I mentioned it to the camp directors, but they were not going to fix it. By today, it was obvious it was cooler outside in the 95 degree heat than it was in my cabin. Kids no longer want to retreat to my cabin for rest as its like a sauna!
I was encouraged to move, but its just easier to stay as this is where the kids know to find me. And if someone needs me in the middle of the night, they won't wake anyone else this way.
Tonight I decided to take matters into my own hands and take the air conditioner apart. And guess what I found? ICE! It was frozen solid! The front of it behind a nasty dirty filter looked like an ice rink. So I called Chad and asked for some suggestions. He came down and I started drying it with a hair dryer! (That just added MORE heat in the room) He checked out side and the lines and pipes were also frozen solid. So at 10:30 at night when everyone else is resting, he is out there trying to thaw that line with buckets of water.
Well, IT WORKED! My cabin is now SO COLD!!!! YAY!

I can finally sleep well tonight.

As for today at camp...we had a GREAT day. I sat in on Brads class where he did an excellent jon on teaching about Joseph. He talked about how Joseph landed in prison but was still promised a land of his own. Brad spoke about how we all of lands of our own....its just how what we do with our land that's important. So how can we work the land today to show our love for God? It was a really good class. And of course I loved it because he played a song with Donny Osmond singing!!!! :)

Tonight we had the Game Show Guy and I truly love him being here. He is really so much fun! I think the kids had a blast!

2 girls gave their life to Christ tonight and it was such an awesome experience to be there and witness the outpouring of love for them.

The moonlight praise and worship tonight was so amazing. These kids LOVE to sing!!!!! They are never at a loss for songs! Their hearts could sing all night! I love that!

Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Day 1

Wow! We had an awesome day today! But why does the temperature always seem hotter when you are at camp? YIKES!!!

The day was filled with things like pool relay games, hockey on the ever so nice NEW basketball court, inside games, and human bowling!!! that is where you put people inside huge tire inner tubes and roll them to hit cardboard boxes. Um.....I laughed very hard!!!!! It looked fun, but I'm not trying it!

The praise and worship tonight was amazing. Its always good...but there was an extra element of goodness tonight that I loved about it. One thing I love about these groups is that they love to sing. No matter where I go, someone is always singing....and if they aren't, you can see the song in their heart and step.

Classes went well today and Nick taught a great devotional tonight on gentleness and he spoke of how gentle Jesus was with the woman in John 8:10 and how he showed an incredible amount of gentleness and mercy.

I think I can think of a, make that many, times in my life where I want Jesus to look at me and be that gentle with me.

Tonight....that is my prayer.

Sunday, July 25, 2010

Camp....we have arrived!

We made it to camp today about 4:00. Have to admit, I knew I'd miss my Sunday nap so I slept on the way here:)

It took a while to get everyone unloaded and settled but everything went smoothly!

Dinner tonight was the typical first night "sandwhich" dinner. Not complaining as their food is always good here and I know I'll gain 10 pounds by the end of the week.

There are 3 churches here and everyone is split up into teams by the color of their bandana. Sadly, I didn't get a team as the nurse has to be on all teams. I can just fwel the love already! :)
We had some great group games tonight where each team had to come up with a skit to represent their team. They were really cute too. We have some creative thinkers in the bunch!

Canteen was good and I of course couldn't pass it up without my usual camp favorite.....rootbeer float!

Trent led our devotional time tonight and it was awesome. We watched a clip from the green mile where the jaoiler is taking the prisoner in while shouting "dead man walking". He reminded everyone that we don't have to be a dead man walking....because we have Christ in us. Forgiving us for those sins we continue to commit over and over.
I thought it was very interesting that his topic tonight really bled together with my sunday mornimg bible class and reading from Phillipians and Romans.

I pray that the message everyone hears this week is clearly a message from God.

As for the first aid on the first day?
6 Bandaids
1/4 of a tube of anti itch cream
1 ice bag
And already almost 1 trip to find a doctor....but I worked it out....and the child is fine:)

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Final Thoughts

I know these won't be all my final thoughts about this trip because there were just so many blessings to me.

I can't help but think how lucky these teens are for getting the opportunity to do things like this at their age. I never did and I can see that I missed out on so much! What an incredible difference they are making!

For me, the difference each of them has made in my life now has been one I won't forget. I've watched each of them grow so much! I've loved every moment I have spent with them.
I've also had a chance to spend time with the adults and its been one fun moment after the next. Jason continues to make me laugh and blesses me with uncontrollable laughter. I have grown to love him more everyday. Just really getting to know Nick this week has been a highlight. Its amazing how much we can just sit and talk about and find so much common ground on. I've grown to love him like I have known him forever. Getting to drive with Christi was a lovely highlight. And since her navagational skills are just about like mine, I am just sure we are in great company. :o)

Getting to work with Trent and Angela again has brought back so many fun memories! It's like we just picked up where we left off many years ago. Same fun! Same laughter! Only our kids are all older now!

Spending time with Bobby and Melissa was such a treat. Just seeing the work they are doing here in this community is such a blessing. I am so honored that they asked us to come and be a part of it. Departing tomorrow will bring sadness, but, there is joy in seeing what they have been called to do here.

I can't keep saying how loving this community is. I know the host I stayed with was very gracious and showered us with love and kindness. Even today they showed up with Taco Tierra cups as souvenirs for all the female counselors!

The cook out tonight was wonderful. We had such a fun time. I left early, along with Jason, to get some time to rest and relax before we have to start driving in the morning. (I've become that "responsible" adult) LOL!

My week has been full of so much love and greatness and I have loved every moment of this trip. I am excited to come back home tomorrow and be with my family and friends and share all the great things God did this week.

Tomorrow I pray for a safe and uneventful drive home. It will be long....but we'll make the most of it and have fun along the way.

Last Day

Today is our last day of Sports Camp. We had 24 show up ready to play and have fun!
They are really on fire today!
The kids got a special treat today. The fire department showed up to spray the kids with the fire hose! It was such a treat!!!

This afternoon we will finish our service project at the local pool and helping with things around the church building. Later this evening we have a community cook out in the church parking lot and then a moonlight movie.

I have been very excited about all the work that we have done and the impact this is having on the kids and community here. They are so loving and welcoming.

As for first aid we are up to 22 bandaids, 8 drops of visine, 4 squirts of nose spray, 18 ibuprofen, 1 ace bandage to wrap a knee, lots and lots and lots of anti itch cream, one ankle wrap, 6 bags of ice, and again lots of TLC and reassurance!

Its gonna be a great day!!!

Friday, July 09, 2010


Okay, I know I'm an adult, but I know these kids are wiped out too! But its all for the sake of doing what we came here to do and that's serve this community through the love that God has lavished on us.

Sports camp today was amazing once again! Can't believe how well its going.
This afternoon we split into our groups for a day of fun.
jason and I drove a couple of loaded vans to Indiana (about an hour away) to a beautiful water park. It was so fun and the water was just perfect for relaxing.
Now....something they should never let me do is take the lead while driving. I will fully admit that I have NO navagational skills whatsoever! However, on this trip, they have had me drive A LOT which finally led to us getting VERY lost over in Indiana. (I did have someone else reading a map though)
We finally figured it out and I quickly made a u turn! Needless to say, today consisted of lots of unnecessary sight seeing. I was so proud of the teens for making it into such a positive situation as I was really frustrated with myself. But we got home safe and in time for the bonfire and mosquito roast! Yep! They are that bad out here. But smores were good too. to bed. Tomorrow starts early:o)

Day 2

Wow! It was really hard to wake up this morning after a long day yesterday.

Due to the power outages, we had our dinner by candlelight at the church. We split up into groups and some kids went to Garys house, some stayed at the church to play hide and seek in the dark and some (including me) went to Indiana to a Walmart and Dairy Queen!

We came back for our late night devotional and then headed to our home to sleep. OH!!! And I was blessed to see the host family for Ian brought in a cake to celebrate his birthday with him.

It rained all night and was still raining when we got up this morning. Funny thing is, we prayed for rain and cooler weather and God provided. So this morning our prayer was for the rain to stop, and hasn't rained one drop!!!! It looks like it could...but God is holding it back. All the kids are outside having a great time!!! Today we had 28 show up and 2 of them were new ones. They are so excited and working very hard at memorizing their Bible verses. They have each shined in their own unique way and it has been so beautiful to see. I really feel this week and this community is blessing us so much by allowing us to work with these amazing kids.

I have been so blessed to work with the singing group each day and we have had so much fun leading the kids in songs. Yesterday they didn't know the songs but today they are sending out requests for their favorites!!! Its great!!

After lunch today we will head to Evansville for a day of fun and playtime.

As for first aid again, were up to 15 bandaids, 6 drops of visine, 2 squirts of nose spray, 6 more ibuprofen (which I took some of) lots of anti itch cream (bugs are bad here), one ankle wrap. 5 bags of ice, and lots of TLC and reassurance!


Thursday, July 08, 2010

reflections of a new experience

I've never been on a mission trip before so I didn't really know what to expect.
In my mind, I pictured it like summer camp. You know, all the arts and crafts, and canteens, bible stories, etc......but its so different.
Mission trips are work! A LOT of hard work, and I love it.
we have done more in the past few days than I ever imagined we could do and the focus of everyone here is all directed right where it should be by keeping our eyes on the Lord.

I love the thought of getting out and meeting new people. Last night, we went through the drive-thru at McDonalds and met a young man named Troy. He was so neat and in our 2 1/2 minutes there, we found out he didn't go to church and we invited him to the cook out on Saturday night. I'm not sure if he will come, but I at least intend to visit McDonalds 1 more time to check on him and let him know someone cares for him.
Today the man in charge of the pool was just overwhelmed ny our hospitality and willingness to help him fix his no cost to him. Well...I think we would all LOVE to get in that pool at least once while we are here! ;o)

I have to admit, my nights are lonely. I'm used to always being surrounded by my friends and family but out here, getting in touch with anyone is sometimes difficult. Phone service hardly works, to get a text to go through is sometimes difficult so you just think the people back home are not hearing you, and you just don't have your family around. That can be difficult.

I love being able to serve people I have just met and I am excited to see who God introduces me to next. I'm not sure what His plan is for me, but I know He loves me and wants me to be here doing great work for Him.

Day 1 cont

After Sports camp today we were treated to a wonder lunch at "Hogg Heaven". It was a great time of fellowship with each other....and great food too.

We came back to break up into groups for service projects. One group was sorting clothes that will be donated, another group painted the nursery at the church and the rest of us went to the community pool to scrape doors and prepare them for painting! Boy! Did they ever need it!!!!

Today, at the end of camp, it poured down rain and it was welcomed very much! We were so thankful for the showers to cool everything off.
The softball game was cancelled for tonight due to the all day rain so we get some extra time to rest and relax this afternoon. Were not sure what God has in store for us tonight, but I can say for certain that a shower and nap is in the plan.:)

So excited to see all the great work is doing in the lives here at Mt. Carmel as well as the work He is doing is all of us on this trip. We've had some amazing God moments and its all because of the wonderful work He is doing through us.


Camp Victory is off to a great start.

Yesterday we spent all day preparing for the camp, practicing drills, skits, songs, and setting up. Last night we had the honor of worshipping with the Mt. Carmel family. Bobby had some very inspiring thoughts to share to help us prepare for this week. The church body here is so encouraging and welcoming. I feel like I have known them forever already.

This moring we started very early with last minute prep work. Registration was to begin at 8:30 and our first family showed up at 8:10, and then they kept coming!!! Today we registered 32 kids from the community. Only 3 of those are actually from the Mt. Carmel church. They are having so much fun and I anticipate they will invite their friends tomorrow. You can tell by the look in their eye that they haven't had this experience before and you can tell by their smiles they are loving it.

I'm so proud of our group of teens and adults. They have worked so hard without any complaining.

Today we will go to "Hogg Heaven" for lunch. this restaurant has graciously agreed to feed our entire group today. This community is so loving and welcoming. They really show us that they are happy for us to be here.

As for the first aid count, I've given out 3 band aids, lots of ibuprofen, and a lot of reassurance that some will be just fine! :o) I've promised them I won't let them die of heat stroke! ;o)

Wednesday, June 02, 2010


I love brownie Wednesday's. This is where my kids help me make brownies, and then we give them to an unsuspecting someone. They Love it.

We take the school year off but hit it full swing in the summers. (this will begin next week)

However, Emilie's class was asked to bring cookies and help serve at an event we will have after church tonight. She didn't know she was supposed to do this.

So we started baking.....but first we had to enduldge ourselves in some of the cookie dough.

But what I loved is they didn't assume these were for them. The first question they said was:
"Who are we going to give these cookies to?"

That put such a smile on my well as on theirs.

So my reply was:
"They are for church tonight.....but you get the first ones fresh out of the oven"

Their eyes lit up with excitement.

I love moments like this.

Lie...or not to lie? That is the question!

I am faced with so many different experiences and people at work. Last night has been one of my favorite "funny yet akward" moments thus far. While working with a patient he decides to break the silence with this question:
"So, when is your baby due?"

As my heart started to race, I quickly said the first thing that popped into my mind...
"In about 6 months"

I proceeded with his examination and prayed he would not ask me any more questions. In laughing about this, I told my kids this morning what the man said and they they scolded me for lying to him. WHAT???

Okay, yes! I felt so bad for lying to the man, but I couldn't fathom hurthing his feelings or embarassing him at all. He's already in the hospital and wasn't feeling well so why add to his misery right?
As I tried to explain this to the kids, they had no compassion on me at all. I was still in trouble.

So I asked the kids...."what should I have said?"

Ian said: "You should have said you just had one" .....(isn't that still a lie?)

Emilie said: "I would have punched him"

Lukus said: " did the right thing! You'll probably never see him again anyway"

I think I'll side with Lukus!

Colossians 3:12
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.

Saturday, May 29, 2010


It's been a while since a song has moved me to tears. The hard tears. Yesterday, it was this one and it's on eternal repeat now. I love to know how much Grace I truly walk in and it's nice to have these daily reminders.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Graduation Day

This will certainly be a day to remember. So many people say "Didn't it seem like you just started yesterday?" UM......NO!!! It seems like I have been doing this all of my life! Okay....just 5 years to get a 2 year degree....but I had a family to raise, had to work, moved into a new home, went through various illnesses, took care of the other 4 in my house when they were ill, and just overall, did a lot over the past 5 years. I'm so excited to have this chapter completed.

Graduation was held at ORU Mabee Center. I'm the one in the blue square hat! And I must add...this is the same place that my high school graduation was held, as well as the same color caps and gowns.

Yep...that's me.

Ah! Two of my best friends showed up. Love them! Couldn't imagine this day without them.

My friend Lindsay came. She's been a huge support through this whole deal. As well as huge help early in the mornings when I couldn't take the kids to school. She was always there. Even when I forgot to call.

Ah!!!! The 5 of us! Okay...have to say, the kids did NOT want to go to this! But as a parent, I did my duty and forced them. I loved having them there seeing their mom finally accomplish this dream. (anyone else notice how TALL Ian is? What happened???)

My mom and dad came to show their support. (My dad showing his new teeth too! LOL)

Well....that man was the guest speaker. Um....all I remember is blah blah blah blah. Followed by a lot of nothing.

Emilie takes every opportunity to have her picture taken with me. She loves her momma!

The love of my life! I bet at this point he was thinking....."I'M SO GLAD THIS IS OVER"
I know he's proud of me. Now he'll be more proud when he doesn't have to work so much to support my education habits! Now I can work and let him rest! :o)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

He's still working on me....

We used to sing this song when I was a little girl:

He's still working on me to make me what I ought to be.
It took Him just a week to make the moon and stars,
The sun and the earth and Jupiter and Mars.
How loving and patient He must be, He's still working on me.

It's amazing to me how long He is going to keep on working:o) I look at what I've gone through in life. The good and the bad, happy and sad, and yet, He has always remained with me. I've let Him down....more often than I'd like, but His patience still amazes me.

Today He worked on me again, and I don't want to let Him down. Sometimes you have to put away your own selfish desires to do the work God put you here to do. He has blessed me with many gifts and talents in my life and I want to use those gifts to glorify Him. He presents me with opportunites that I am drawn to, but yet, makes me sacrifice in other areas.

Does it sound weird to say that today is one of those days.....I feel like a grown up, making grown up decisions, and grown up sacrifices.

Phillippians 2:1-14
If you've gotten anything at all out of following Christ,

if his love has made any difference in your life,
if being in a community of the Spirit means anything to you,
if you have a heart, if you care— then do me a favor:
Agree with each other, love each other, be deep-spirited friends.
Don't push your way to the front; don't sweet-talk your way to the top.
Put yourself aside, and help others get ahead.
Don't be obsessed with getting your own advantage.
Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.
Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself.

He had equal status with God but didn't think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all.
When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human!
Having become human, he stayed human.
It was an incredibly humbling process.
He didn't claim special privileges.
Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Because of that obedience, God lifted him high and honored him far beyond anyone or anything, ever, so that all created beings in heaven and on earth—even those long ago dead and buried—will bow in worship before this Jesus Christ, and call out in praise that he is the Master of all, to the glorious honor of God the Father.

What I'm getting at, friends, is that you should simply keep on doing what you've done from the beginning.

When I was living among you, you lived in responsive obedience.
Now that I'm separated from you, keep it up. Better yet, redouble your efforts.
Be energetic in your life of salvation, reverent and sensitive before God. That energy is God's energy, an energy deep within you, God himself willing and working at what will give him the most pleasure.
Do everything readily and cheerfully—no bickering, no second-guessing allowed!

Go out into the world uncorrupted, a breath of fresh air in this squalid and polluted society.
Provide people with a glimpse of good living and of the living God.
Carry the light-giving Message into the night so I'll have good cause to be proud of you on the day that Christ returns. You'll be living proof that I didn't go to all this work for nothing.

In moments like these....

Is is Monday? No's Wednesday....but really it's my Saturday because I go to work on Friday which really is my Monday. Did you catch that? Whew!

Ever have mornings that just don't start out right? Today was that for me and I just had to laugh. I had a hard time waking up to go workout, but I did. About 1/2 way through my workout, it dawned on me...."I forgot my clothes to change into". Then that thought came over this how my morning is going to go? Well, then a few other things happned and well...the answer is yes. This IS how my day is going to go.

So much so that I can only laugh about it.

I sat down and prayed, opened my Bible, and God sent me to this from Proverbs 21:31 "The horse is prepared for the day of battle, but deliverance and victory are of the Lord."

Okay....well...there ya have it. Guess I will go out and start my Saturday with that in mind. :o)

Friday, May 07, 2010

It's THAT day!!!

I began a journey in 2005 that completes itself today and sets me forth to another journey in the future.
Many things got in my way over these past few years and caused me to stumble, but I stood strong, and I stood tall, and fought against it....and with God's help, I did it!

One of my all time favorite songs to inspire me is "The Power of a Dream" This is one of the songs that helped me in making a decision to go forward with my education. When I thought i couldn't do it, I sang this song over and over.....along with a lot of other songs. (one day will arrange this for some kids to sing *in a different key.... The lyrics are incredible!)

Deep within each heart, There lies a magic spark
That lights the fire of our imagination
And since the dawn of man, The strength of just "I can"
Has brought together people of all nations

There's nothing ordinary, In the living of each day
There's a special part , Every one of us will play

Feel the flame forever burn, Teaching lessons we must learn
To bring us closer to the power of the dream
As the world gives us its best, To stand apart from all the rest
It is the power of the dream that brings us here

Your mind will take you far, The rest is just pure heart
You'll find your fate is all your own creation
Every boy and girl, As they come into this world
They bring the gift of hope and inspiration

There's so much strength in all of us
Every woman child and man
It's the moment that you think you can't
You'll discover that you can

The power of the dream
The faith in things unseen
The courage to embrace your fear
No matter where you are
To reach for your own star
To realize the power of the dream
To realize the power of the dream

I relized the power of God and the dreams that He had given me were within my reach. Now that I'm done, I look forward to reaching for more goals and dreams that he will place in front of me. I think we have a God of endless possibilites and endless dreams. I want to take what I have learned and put it to use for HIS glory, not mine, not mans, but all His Glory. In everything I do I want others to see that I will use this accomplishment for His glory.

And on Graduation day today...I cleaned out all the papers and note cards, etc. This was just from the last 2 semesters!!!

Thursday, May 06, 2010

National Day of Prayer

I love that we have something called "National Day of Prayer". I do believe that we should all spend a certain time everyday in prayer to God, but for those that don't, this is a good National reminder.

My most precious moments everyday are when I'm talking to God. It's my quiet time. And sometimes, it's not so quite....if He's speaking loud enough. I don't have a routine of a specific time everyday, but when I stop and recognize Him for the great things He is doing in my life, and in this world, my life is more blessed.

This morning I was blessed to spend an hour alone with God as I watched the sunrise, listened to the birds chirping, and taking time to be thankful that He has given me another day on earth.
I don't need...or want....anything more.

I am blessed.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Dump Day

I, along with many others, have committed to participate in "Dump Day". This is a re-post from Trey Morgan's blog. Will you join? You can go to his blog to donate. Nobody should ever have to live like this. And we can help.

Can you imagine being so poor and so hungry that you'd take up residence at your local dump and dig through the disgusting trash to find yourself something to eat? Can you imagine feeding your children scraps of molded rotting garbage, just so they can live? Can you imagine your children picking the little bites of chicken off a chicken bone they found in the garbage? All these are regular occurrences at the dump in Tegucigalpa, Honduras. The Tegucigalpa dump is a dark and horrible place to live, yet many people do. Last year, on May 5th, you began to help make a difference in these forgotten people's lives, with the first ever Dump Day.

Twice this past year I had the privilege of being in Honduras and feeding hungry dump people with food you helped provide. This year I plan to go back to Honduras a couple of times and help feed the people at the dump. I'm praying this ministry is able to continue. Here are a few questions you may have that I hope I can help answer...

1. What is "Dump Day?"Dump Day started last May 5th when we all raised over $12,500 for the Dump Fund. Everyone came together and pledged money and hungry people were fed. Here's the post if you want to look back. Now that a year has passed we want to have another "Dump Day" fundraiser to make sure we're able to continue to feed the hungry people of the Tegucigalpa, Honduras dump.
2. How did Dump Day start?In November of 2008 I got a newsletter from a group of kids who were doing some mission work down in Honduras. They mentioned in their newsletter about going out to the dump and feeding people who lived there. When I first read it I thought to myself, "No way is there really people who live at a dump and eat out of the trash." I emailed them and found out more about their work. They were making and taking sandwiches to them when the funds to do so were available. About six months later we decided to have a fund raiser for them on this blog. My dream was to raise about $2500 for this work. I dreamed much too small.
3. Why May 5th?May 5th is my cancer anniversary. This year I will have been cancer free for 7 years. What better way to celebrate surviving cancer and being cancer free than doing something like this. :)
4. How can you help?By doing two things: 1) help pass the word about what we're doing here on May 5th. You can use your blog, your church bulletin, your email, send letters or any other way of getting the word out. The more people that know, the more people that can help. And 2) make a donation. Stop by on May 5th and leave a comment with what you're pledging to give. That helps us keep up with where we are on the fund-raiser.
5. How do I give/pledge?Once you leave a pledge ("I'll give $50, etc."), you make out a check, money order or use the Paypal button on the side-bar of this blog. We're trying to make it as easy as possible to give. On May 5th I'll include the address where you can mail your money, if you pay by check or money order.
6. Where will my money go?This is simple ... your money will go to help feed the people at the dump. Period.
7. How do I participate in this year's Dump Day fast? This year I'm challenging you to a Dump Day fast. A 30 hour fast that will coincide with the Dump Day marathon. It will be a reminder to us that there are hungry people in this world, and they can't be overlooked. I'm not sure there's ever been a day in the Tegucigalpa dump when the people have actually had more to eat than me ... but on May 5th they will. I will be fasting and on that day (Dump Day, May 5th), and my friend Marc Tindall will be feeding rice, beans, tortillas, bananas and water to the people at the dump.

•I challenge you to fast from Tuesday afternoon until Wednesday evening. Then you can take the money you'd have spent on meals and give that money to hungry people. What better way to spend the money you saved on meals? :)

I also challenge you to some accountability on this by signing up. Simply leave a comment that says, "I'm in on the fast." You in?

Monday, May 03, 2010

4 more days

Everything is set into place.

I've got the cap and gown. I've taken the test. I've met all the requirements to graduate. Now we just gotta wait for that official night.

I recieved a letter that was address to:
Brenda Lee Hughes, AAS, CRT, RRT.

Um....those are a lot of letters....THAT MEAN A WHOLE LOT TO ME! :o) I totally know that girl.

This morning I had time to reflect on some of the highlights of my school career. One of them was my Goverment class. Of all classes for me to love and excel in, this was the one. Even though it was just part of my basics, the professor I had made a huge difference in my thought process and whether to continue on with this dream or not. I had been out of school for 15 years a that time and didn't really remember much about studying or even how to take test. His class wasn't the best one for learning those things as he only gave 2 test a year. The mid-term and the final. Both were essays that you had to think on the fly and write not knowing what the question would be ahead of time. And I will never forget how I was able to incorporate how Santa Clause is so similar to Government today. No..that wasn't the question, but I worte about it and told every bit of the constitution and how it reltated and yes....I got an A!!!! But that professor taught me how to look at things in life differently. I admired him greately.
I've had a lot of great professors through these years and many of them stand out to me and helped me change my life. For that I am grateful. I am thankful that so many of them were wonderful christian leaders and role models. Not only for me, but for the students they encountered. I may be 36....but I still need positive role models in my life that will lead me in the right direction when I get lost. God knew just who to place in my life over these past 5 years to help me thorugh it. Not just teachers, but friends. So many that believed in me when I couldn't believe in myself and do it on my own. So many that pushed me. So many that helped me along the way. So many that loved me and get to see what I will now go out and do with the degree.....(and all those credentials) that I have earned.

I am so blessed.
I am so thankful.
I am so happy.
I am loved.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Countdowns....Graduation and KPC

Not sure what to count down to anymore, there is so much going on. It's good to have a busy life!!!

I've been counting down to graduation (21 days) but now my focused has switched.

I'm counting down to the KPC Night of Praise. 5 MORE DAYS!!!!

What a joy this year has been. These kids are amazing to me. They teach me so much about joy and laughter, happiness and sadness, and pride and humility. I think God gave me the ability to teach these kids so that I may learn from them myself.

In my 3 years of doing this, they have helped me grow in ways I didn't see before. It's like that phrase "I once was blind, but now I see...." I doesn't mean this...but so many things that my heart and mind were blind to before, are now so opened. Things that were hurting my heart because of my selfish and prideful ways, I see so differently now.

Kids are smart. They are much smarter than we ever give them credit for. And when I teach 27 of them 4 times a month, I am the one that is really learning God lessons from them. The things they say are truly God statements. The ways they serve each other are beautiful acts of God. The way they care for one another and love each other shows just what God has commanded us to do. These kids have got it right.

I have to admit.....I'm sad. I'm really sad that in 5 days, this will be over again. I could do this all year. I love it that much. What makes me love it even more is the fact that I have a church family that supports this ministry and these kids so much. I have delegated more this year than I ever have and I pray it goes perfectly....and it will! God has placed the right people in place for this.
The kids look forward to this night for 4 1/2 months and they can't wait for their moms and dads to see what they have accomplished. To see how they have learned to worship God. For me.....when I turn my head at church and see them praising God with all they've got......that makes my heart simply smile. I can't even imagine what it does in God's heart. I'm not sure I have ever seen a smile quite that big....and I bet he's got it! :o)

I know one thing for sure, when this is over....I'll be able to just breathe! All of this behind me will be a good thing...but a chapter in my life gone. So what's next?

Stay tuned....and I'll tell ya! :o)

Monday, April 12, 2010

25 days

I know what I know...and it's all I know.

The test are overwhelming.

Changes here and there and everywhere. But what doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?

Today we did our graduation check, got our caps and gowns, and got everything in order. Really, it was kind of fun but for a moment, I felt relief and sadness all at the same time that this chapter of my life is almost over. Time for a new one to begin. I'm excited for that.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Whoa!!! 30 days!!!

Okay!!! Here we go!

30 days left! GRADUATION!!!! Wow!

In the next 3 and a half weeks I have to take 8 more huge exams, 13 more class days, 2 more doctor lectures, 6 more clinicals, a surgery rotation in the heart cath lab, a meeting with financial team, academic counselors, and graduation counselors.

Today in the car I wasn't listening to any music. That is odd for me. The moment I get in the car I turn something on and start singing. But today the peacefulness was amazing. When I do that, God sends me songs like "Still" and "Peace be Still" and "Peace, Perfect Peace" and "It is well" and so on. I know those are God moments. I love those moments.

I said today that I'm worried about my spirit over the next few weeks. Philippians 4:6 tells me not to worry and in Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus says that our Father will take care of our needs...and not to worry.
How do I not worry? Well he tells me in 1 Peter to cast my anxieties on him because he cares for me.
And back in Phillipians 4:7 is says He promises to give us the peace that passes all understanding.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).

If you read this....and I'm not sure who does anymore....please pray for the next 30 days that I will freely lay all my burdens down and trust Him to give me the rest I need. Pray that whatever happens, it will be all by His will....not mine. Pray that I have peace and understanding that this is not just a step, but a milestone that is about to be over and a new milestone to begin in my life. Pray for those that I come in contact with. Who knows if I will offend them by my lack of concentration or inability to focus on anything except these exams. Pray that I have the ability to lay down the books and focus on God and worship Him freely without feeling behind or burdened that I need to be doing something else. Pray that God works through me to accomplish all things in life. Pray that I continue to be strong in my faith in Him and that I don't lose site of the journey and the goal. Pray for my husband as he feels so neglected right now. Pray for my kids that they can hold on for 3 more weeks until they get their mamma back! Pray for my physical body as it is taking a beating right now. It need sleep! Pray for the patients I will see and pray that they see God working through me.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

Daddy's and Daughters

Fortunatley, Chad teaches Emilie what a girl is supposed to be treated like!!!!
This is them getting ready for the Father/Daughter dance. It was priceless!!!!

Friday, January 15, 2010

Shining with brightness

2 Cor. 3:16-18 it says, "Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face to face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."

Father, I want to communicate Your name to others, in worship, at work, in the store, everywhere! Let me shine with brightness so that others may see You though me and so I can become more like You. Amen

He's got my attention!

God's talking! I'm listening!
I highlight words in these songs not to point out negatives, but to point out things I have said to myself over the past few weeks in trying to make some decisions. It think God decided that if I wasn't going to listen that he would scream it at me last night through these songs. My heart sank. It was like being in that movie "Field of Dreams" and nobody could see the players......and here I sat wondering...."Am I the only one getting the message????" Okay.....He has my full attention!

We are not afraid, to follow where You lead,
Leaving what we know, for what we cannot see.
We are not afraid for we are not alone,
and so we'll go with You into the unknown.

We are not afraid to love the way You do,
to serve with the same grace we receive from You.
We are not afraid to look beyond ourselves,and offer hope to those who cannot help themselves.

We are not afraid though some say we should wait,
the cost is just too high, the danger is too great
We are not afraid to move when You say move,
Trusting in Your voice, We will follow You.

We will be fearless for You. Fearless for You.
We will be faithful in all that we do.
If we step out on the waves or walk through the flames
Whatever you ask us to do, we will be fearless for You.

~Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go. Anywhere He leads me in this world below
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not afraid.
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not alone.
~Anywhere with Jesus over land and sea, Telling souls in darkness of salvation free.

~I choose to be holy, set apart for You my Master, ready to do Your will. Lord, I'm ready to do your will.
~Give me the heart of a servant, tender and faith and true. Fill me with love, then use me O Lord, so that the world can see You.
~Mold me and shape me, do what you must do. To make me a servant, make me like You.

~Let me be a sacrifice, holy and acceptable.

~Take the Lord with you, everywhere you go.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Love is....

Today in class we talked about many things surrounding loving your mate and being in love with your mate.

Here are just some of my thoughts after class: (not the thoughts of Chad)
I met Chad March 5th, 1992. Coming up on 18 years ago! I remember the first time I ever saw him. I had more butterflies than I could count. I was at a loss for words. My heart was pounding as I walked up to the counter to ask him for a drink. But at that moment, it was love at first sight!
I think the first time I can remember feeling "in love" was about 30 days into the "dating" portion of our relationship. That feeling continued for....oh....I can't tell you how long! But I realized at about 6 months or so that I truly loved this man and I didn't ever want to be without him. That's a different love. (but was still in love) ....I feel like I'm in a riddle! :o)

Many years went by.....8 to be exact.....and the "in love" was gone. Love was still there, but "in love" was being taken over by the love I was giving to the kids. They had all my butterflies and we were all flying together. It was a very very bad time for our marriage. But I knew this.....that I loved Chad with everything that I had. Even though it wasn't much....and I didn't have much love to give.....I still loved him.

Now, at year 15...coming up on 16 in April.....I am more "IN LOVE" with him than I have ever been. He walks in the room, and my heart skips a beat! Those same feelings I had 18 years ago, are back again. He is still as much my boyfriend, as he is my husband. I love to be with him. I love to date him. I love it when he calls me. I love it when he takes me out. I love his surprises. I just love him!

This morning at church, he was learning how to run the sound board and I had to try hard to not look up at him. I didn't want anyone to catch me looking at my boyfriend and see him looking at me. Is he a distraction??? Sometimes, but I can handle it. He's the love of my life. He is my soul mate. We'll be together until God brings us home.

When we were younger, Chad's love language to receive was physical touch. Okay's probably that for most young men early in the relationship. I couldn't stand that because all I ever had was touch from the kids for so many years. By the time Chad came home, I was done. Hugs and kisses were already gone. But his love language TO me was gift giving. He is the biggest giver I know. He thinks of everyone else included. But that wasn't me.I didn't like gifts. I am a saver of money and don't need a lot of things. I wanted quality time, and acts of service. I would love it if he cleaned out my car, or went to the store for me, or just sat with me and did nothing.
But today.....we have switched!
My love language to receive is Physical Touch. My kids are growing up and I miss the hugs and kisses I used to get from them. Just a simple hug from him....or from family...or friends means so much to me. But from Chad, it makes up for all those years that I couldn't give him his need.
My other would be words of affirmation. I need this for a lot of the same reasons as above. I want to hear the words "I love you" "You're special" "You did a good job" etc. Those mean a lot to me and I am fortunate that Chad is one of those guys that I don't ever have to ask. Sometimes, it's overkill....but that's okay! :o)
If I could have 3 I would definitely say quality time is a must. We DVR things and watch them together each night when the kids go to bed and I just love that time with him. Or if I just have to run to the store, he goes with me so it can be just us. I love that!

I left with a realization today that more than ever, I love him so much. I'm very fortunate that he has put up with me for all these years. I screw up as a wife all the time.....and I screw up big! But no matter what, he is always very forgiving and loves me unconditionally.

We may be totally opposite......I like Acappella....He likes AC/DC....but I think that God had and still has an amazing plan for us. One that I can't even comprehend. But I'm excited for the journey he is taking us on. I love it.

One day....I want to marry him all over again and get look into his eyes and say....well....I'm not sure what I'd say.....but I'm sure it would include the most 3 beautiful words I could ever hear.

Weird..good or bad.

Since I've been back at work I've heard several times "you're just weird"

Now...I know they are saying this in a joking manner, but after about the 20th time I heard it yesterday, it started to rub me the wrong way. Insecurity set in, I started doubting who I was, and I just wondered what would I have to do to be considered "Normal"

Webester defines weird as
1. involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2. fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
3. Archaic. concerned with or controlling fate or destiny

I'm not real sure if I fit any of those descriptions and I'm not sure they meant it like that either.

By my co-workers definitions, I'm weird becuase I don't drink, I don't go out to party, I don't cuss, I say poop or poot instead of using other words that I particularly don't want to hear myself. I'm weird because I have a husband that wants to shower me with gifts and I don't like that. I'm weird because I don't want him to take me out to a meal that cost over $100.00. I'm weird because I defend others when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird because I refuse to work on Sunday's and Wednesday's unless there is an emergency. I'm weird because I make random conversations that make others laugh. I'm weird becuause I like to have a converstaion with each of my patients instead of treat'em and street'em and I was told yesterday that I am weird because I actually care about things.

Wow! Okay, that doesn't quite sound like the definition I just read.

I'm constantly an open target for people and most of the time I find that others don't take me seriously. However, my bosses take me very seriously and love having me around.

So, do I change? Well, I think I did that for a point of my life where I changed to please others, and I was miserable. I love being happy and I love my life and I love who I am. Why sit around a table and gossip and talk bad about others? Why use words that aren't pleasing to God and especially to others around me? Why would I want to be anyone different that who God wants me to be?

I don't really have a word to describe myself best but I don't think I would choose weird.

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Inside Out

"In the heart me there's a mystery,
in my weakness there is still,
a goodness not my own,
it comes from God alone,
and I can not be sure until.

You turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see that it's Christ in me,
Lord, turn me inside out, turn me inside out.

What my pride conceals,
Lord your truth reveals,
and your grace is seen somehow.
There is mercy when,
in spite of who I've been.
Your glory dwells within me now.

So turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see, that it's Christ in me Lord,
turn me inside out, turn me inside out.

These may be lyrics to a Zoe Group song, but they just feel like so much more when I'm singing them. It hits to the depths of my heart. That's how I know God is trying to speak to me.
When my heart sings this I hear it as such a prayer. One that I have prayed over and over.

In Luke 11 it is very clearly stated to the foolish people that our God is the one that made us on the inside as well as the outside. But, being the earthly people that we are or......sinners perhaps.....why wouldn't our prayer to God be to let others see what is really on the inside.

If you looked at the inside of someones body, (which I have) you would find that we are very complex. So much so it takes years and years of study and research to figure out things that didn't take God very long at all. When we were put here on earth, everything worked in us as God had planned. Some are born perfect. Some are born with sickness and some may develop things along the way. But again, it's all by design. It's God's plan.
I treat some of the most amazing people at work and I have to say, they have some pretty ugly lungs and organs. But when you break through that layer of sickness and find their true heart (turn them inside out) they are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.

I want to be that person. dying....I want to be turned inside out so that others can see Christ in me. I don't want there to be any hypocrisy. I want what is on the inside of my heart to be seen on the outside as well. I want to be beautiful on the inside and outside so that in everything that I do, Christ is the center of my reflection.

I know what this looks like to me. Most days, I don't find it a big challenge. But somedays.....I feel Satan pulling me and that is when I know....if I screw up, I am loved and covered by His mercy and grace.

My prayer today is that others will see Him and that I will live a life that is "Inside Out"

Monday, January 04, 2010

KPC's 2010

Kids Praise Chorus started yesterday for the 2010 season. Let's just say....they blew me away! They were ready to go and did very well. Praying every rehearsal is like yesterdays!
(Thank you Tammy for the beautiful blog)