Sunday, January 10, 2010

Love is....

Today in class we talked about many things surrounding loving your mate and being in love with your mate.

Here are just some of my thoughts after class: (not the thoughts of Chad)
I met Chad March 5th, 1992. Coming up on 18 years ago! I remember the first time I ever saw him. I had more butterflies than I could count. I was at a loss for words. My heart was pounding as I walked up to the counter to ask him for a drink. But at that moment, it was love at first sight!
I think the first time I can remember feeling "in love" was about 30 days into the "dating" portion of our relationship. That feeling continued for....oh....I can't tell you how long! But I realized at about 6 months or so that I truly loved this man and I didn't ever want to be without him. That's a different love. (but was still in love) ....I feel like I'm in a riddle! :o)

Many years went by.....8 to be exact.....and the "in love" was gone. Love was still there, but "in love" was being taken over by the love I was giving to the kids. They had all my butterflies and we were all flying together. It was a very very bad time for our marriage. But I knew this.....that I loved Chad with everything that I had. Even though it wasn't much....and I didn't have much love to give.....I still loved him.

Now, at year 15...coming up on 16 in April.....I am more "IN LOVE" with him than I have ever been. He walks in the room, and my heart skips a beat! Those same feelings I had 18 years ago, are back again. He is still as much my boyfriend, as he is my husband. I love to be with him. I love to date him. I love it when he calls me. I love it when he takes me out. I love his surprises. I just love him!

This morning at church, he was learning how to run the sound board and I had to try hard to not look up at him. I didn't want anyone to catch me looking at my boyfriend and see him looking at me. Is he a distraction??? Sometimes, but I can handle it. He's the love of my life. He is my soul mate. We'll be together until God brings us home.

When we were younger, Chad's love language to receive was physical touch. Okay's probably that for most young men early in the relationship. I couldn't stand that because all I ever had was touch from the kids for so many years. By the time Chad came home, I was done. Hugs and kisses were already gone. But his love language TO me was gift giving. He is the biggest giver I know. He thinks of everyone else included. But that wasn't me.I didn't like gifts. I am a saver of money and don't need a lot of things. I wanted quality time, and acts of service. I would love it if he cleaned out my car, or went to the store for me, or just sat with me and did nothing.
But today.....we have switched!
My love language to receive is Physical Touch. My kids are growing up and I miss the hugs and kisses I used to get from them. Just a simple hug from him....or from family...or friends means so much to me. But from Chad, it makes up for all those years that I couldn't give him his need.
My other would be words of affirmation. I need this for a lot of the same reasons as above. I want to hear the words "I love you" "You're special" "You did a good job" etc. Those mean a lot to me and I am fortunate that Chad is one of those guys that I don't ever have to ask. Sometimes, it's overkill....but that's okay! :o)
If I could have 3 I would definitely say quality time is a must. We DVR things and watch them together each night when the kids go to bed and I just love that time with him. Or if I just have to run to the store, he goes with me so it can be just us. I love that!

I left with a realization today that more than ever, I love him so much. I'm very fortunate that he has put up with me for all these years. I screw up as a wife all the time.....and I screw up big! But no matter what, he is always very forgiving and loves me unconditionally.

We may be totally opposite......I like Acappella....He likes AC/DC....but I think that God had and still has an amazing plan for us. One that I can't even comprehend. But I'm excited for the journey he is taking us on. I love it.

One day....I want to marry him all over again and get look into his eyes and say....well....I'm not sure what I'd say.....but I'm sure it would include the most 3 beautiful words I could ever hear.


Danna said...


Tammy said...

Wonderful! Simply wonderful!

Hannah said...

wow, brenda this is beautiful.
I hope one day to be in love as you are, forever, constantly growing, together, with God.
Thanks for sharing this.
Love you!