Friday, May 30, 2008

Superhero Faith???

I am not a super hero. But I know one! His name is Jesus.

I believe in Him enough to live by faith and love Him regardless of the outcome.
Sometimes it's difficult to see the results of an answered prayer. Then again, sometimes it obvious.

My faith in God has grown by 110% over the past 10 years. I watch some of my dreams explode into reality and I've watched some of my dreams fall and crumble. We are all dreamers. I believe that God gives us dreams to make them a reality so that we can see His work in our lives and that we may be a witness to others.

What does God want from me in regards to my faith? I think God wants me to step out on the water and believe that I won't sink! Do I believe that can happen to me??? It already has! As I look back over my life, not once did he ever let me sink! I know I have experienced things, and I know that I have had rough times, but I'm still here. I'm still experiencing life, experiencing love, experiencing happiness, experiencing faith, and experiencing HIM!

If I have faith....what is there to be afraid of?
If I have faith.... I will be healed.
If I have faith....then I am forgiven!
If I have faith....then I am saved!
If I have faith....I stand in great assurance!
If I share my faith....others may have a glimpse of what our God can do!
Whether big or faith will be enough to harvest the land

When we have nothing else in life, we have our faith in Jesus Christ.

Whatever you do, whatever happens, whatever life trows at you, know it's in the plans and take that first step of walking on water. It can be done with just a small amount of faith.

Philemon 1:4-6

Thanksgiving and Prayer
I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, 5because I hear about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints. I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.

The poll is closed

When I post a poll, I will eventually tell you why! I run my dishwasher at least 3 times a day. Now one would think that I have a very small dishwasher, but in fact, it is one of the larger ones. We just use A LOT of dishes. One thing we made a commitment to do is eat out less. The bad thing is, you really use a lot of dishes when cooking. You've got your pots and pans, the dishes you cook with, then eat with, and we pertty much have dessert every night with our meals. (That's the kids favorite part)
I bake something nearly every day so I am pretty much in the kitchen all day! I try to do my cooking in the morning so that I have the rest of the day to have fun. Someday's it works, others...not so much. But I enjoy what I do!
There ya go!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Another day...another appointment...

I had my doctors appointment this morning. It was okay. I have many mixed feelings. I sat alone in the room for quite a while before he came in. I had time to rehearse the things I wanted to say over and over in my head. Many times, my mind wandered as the ticking of the second hand from the clock hanging on the wall sounded more like a snare drum as it moved around in circles. I refocused just in time for him to walk in.

"How ya feeling?" he asked! That's a question I hate to ask my patients let alone answer as well. You can't really say "I'm great" when you're not. But over & over in my head, I know he doesn't want to hear that. They want to hear that the surgery went well and you are doing fantastic!!!

"I still have pain" I said. He didn't smile but showed concern. Said it's normal, it's only been 4 could take up to 6 months!

You know, I could really let this get me down, but I'm not. I could choose to stay depressed, but I'm not. I feel so blessed to have my health, to be alive, to have 3 wonderful children and the most amazing husband in the world. I have a great family and a whole host of friends that I can count on. I really am blessed.

I spoke to the doctor about what happens if choose not to go through with the next surgery. He gave me the option to wait a while, but if the pain gets too bad, then I must go back in. He wasn't in favor of my decision, but then again, he was willing to work with me on it. He understood my desires, told me we are not dealing with a life or death issue, and is willing to accommodate my needs at this point.

I will go back to work this week and I am ready to jump in with everything I've got. I'm so excited to be working again. Not only because financially we need it, but because I am passionate about what I do.

I continue to pray daily that the health issues I do have will go away and that I will be completely healed from eveything. It's not in me to believe that God can't and won't do it. I believe that with everything I have, He can!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Pray it away....

You know when you have those days where you want to blog something but you just don't know where to start? Today is one of those days.

I sit here in the quiet. I hear the sounds of lawn mowers outside (which reminds me that the lawn needs mowed)...I hear an ambulance go by (which reminds me I need to work)but most of all I hear nothing. It's a sound that I love. A quiet peaceful nothing. However, in the 'nothing' you can hear so much.

I find myself in times like this asking lots of questions. I pray, I cry, I read, I do many things to reflect, and all by myself. It's really a cleansing feeling. Probably doesn't make any sense at all.

My thoughts have been focused around my healing and recovery lately. I am lost. I don't know what to do....but....the option I am leaning towards isn't flattering anyone right now. I question as to why?

I'm considering not going through with the second surgery. Can't I just pray it away? Doesn't that work? Shouldn't I believe that it WILL work? So many times we read of miracle's happening so why couldn't I be one of those? I could!

The part I come to is the part in my mind where the doctor tells me it's a must.
How long do I wait??? I honestly don't want to do this again. If it comes down to it, and I have the surgery, will I assume I didn't get a miracle? I just can't think that way. What if my miracle was them finding out now that I needed the surgery before it got too bad? All great questions, and only one person can give me the answers.

Has it been bad? Yes. Have I allowed others to see that? Not to my knowledge. Could it have been worse? Yes. Have I prayed? More than ever. Have others prayed? More than I imagine!

If God wants me to go through with it again, then I pray that those answers will be very clear to me on Tuesday at the doctor appointment. I pray that he gives me very clear direction on what to do, where to go, what to say, what questions to ask, and give me very clear answers. I pray he send me a burning bush and make it bright so that I can see clearly what it is I am supposed to do.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

I found a bug!

Yes I did! A roach no less! This pesky creature found someway into my house without my permission. This was an unwelcomed guest!

I am not a fan of them, I don't like being around them, but have a problem with killing them and throwing them away. It's just gross!

So what did I do??? I decided to scoop it up and put it in the toilet!

Well, little did I know, these creatures can SWIM!

After several attempts to flush this thing, I was discouraged...and quite frankly...I was frightened that I may never be able to use this toilet again! This bug will not go away!!!

Finally, I took the plunger and forced it to go with the current and now this bug is swimming in the bug ocean.

The toilet is now clean and back in use. But it was touch and go for a while.

Sunday, May 18, 2008


Really I did it to myself this time!!!! ;o)

I have nothing to complain about really. I was so excited that I was released from bed rest on Friday that I did everything I could. Sure...I moved about slowly, but it was SO nice to get out of the house.

Saturday Chad and I decided to head up to Bentonville to pay a visit to our friends there. We had such a great time laughing, grilling, and just being plain silly. That's how you know you are great friends! You can laugh together and cry together and nobody thinks anything different of you. The ride in the car to Bentonville was not bad at all, but the coming home part, was much more of a challenge for me.

I managed to get enough sleep that night but only to wake up with the most horrible stiff neck. I don't know if it was the way I slept or the trip itself that caused that. But I will say, it just hurts.

Church this morning was amazing as I watched the parents bless their seniors off into the world. I look forward to the day that my children will grow to be adults and I look forward to them growing in the kingdom and doing kingdom work for the glory of God. They make me proud!

This afternoon, Chad took the boys fishing and Emilie and I went out with Theresa for pedicures and dinner. We had a great time and Emilie is just as precious as always.

After all that fun was over Theresa and I (with our husbands blessings) decided to take up an invitation from some of the ladies at church to go out to a movie. We saw "Made of Honor" and is a total chick flick but a nice feel good movie that was very funny.

I had an amazing time this weekend, but have to admit, have caused myself much pain that started before the movie, and now require more pain killers! Ah! Well, guess I can't always have so much fun huh?

Thursday, May 15, 2008


Something I never thought I would hear Chad call and say:

"We have over 4000 rollover minutes...TALK IT UP"

In other news:

I just finished writing 3 letters to soldiers in Iraq. Don't know them at all, but it felt really good to write and encourage someone I don't even know that is fighting for not only our country, but for me and my family.

Be an encourager today! Encourage people you do well as those you don't know. You never know where it may lead someday.

Yay for tomorrow!

I don't care what it takes...tomorrow I am getting in the car and driving. Don't know where I will go, or what I will do, but I'm getting out of the house! ;o)
I may use up a whole tank of gas just because I can!

I, like many others, have finished reading "The Shack". If you have not read it yet and want a closer walk with God, it's an amazing book. I struggle talking to God as if he were an actual human sitting here with me. This book has helped me in my faith walk. It's also helped me learn about living in the present and not looking back at the past and don't try to predict the future. It's truly an amazing book.

Here are a few of my favorite quotes from the book:

"If anything matters then everything matters. Because you are important, everything you do is important. Every time you forgive, the universe changes; every time you reach out and touch a heart or a life, the world changes; with every kindness and service, seen or unseen, my purposes are accomplished and nothing will ever be the same again." Isn't that wonderful? It makes living as a part of the body of Christ sound personal and fun and possible in everyday life."

"just because I work incredible good out of unspeakable tragedies doesn't mean I orchestrate the tragedies..."

"Grace doesn't depend on suffering to exist, but where there is suffering you will find grace in many facets and colors."

"When I dwell with you, I do so in the present-I live in the present. not the past, although much can be remembered and learned by looking back, but only for a visit, not an extended stay. I do not dwell in the future you visualize or imagine"

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

2 Weeks or 14 days!!!

It's all the same no matter how you look at it.

2 weeks from today I go back to the doctor and I CAN'T WAIT!

Holy cow...this has been the longest recovery in the world! Okay, not really, but it just seems that way.

Tonight I really get out of the house for the first time. I am going to attempt to go and sit through Ian's first band concert. I'm so excited to get out that I have already put on makeup and fixed my hair and it's not for another 6 hours. But it made me feel good to just get up and do that.

I made a commitment to get out and walk starting yesterday. Even if it were for a short distance. I did not make it out of the house but I will count this evening double. (I know...I wouldn't let that slide with one of my own patients!) :o)

I miss doing my everyday normal things. I miss going to church. I miss having the freedom of leaving the house. I miss playing with the kids. Although, they have been really good about not jumping on me lately. So many things I wish I could do but haven't been able to. Makes me very thankful that this setback is only tempoarary.

So here's my daily schedule right now:
7:30am wake up and walk downstairs
8:00 fall back asleep on couch
10:00 wake again, finally eat something
10:30 go back to sleep
12:30 wake up and take a shower
1:00 watch absolutely nothing good on TV
2:00 lay back down
3:30 2 kids get home
4:30 Ian gets home
Everyone makes their own dinner (yay)
From then on...more TV
after 7:00 I'm usually pretty tired now.
10 or 11 go to bed just so I can't fall asleep!
It's very frustrating!

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Fabulous Mother's Day!

Yay for Mother's day!

I feel so blessed today!

My morning started off a little rough because I didn't get a good nights rest. I was trying to be brave and get out of the house for a moment on Saturday night and it was a little too much. What seemed like VERY LITTLE too me seemed like EVERYTHING to my body. So last night's sleep was not very slumber!

Chad and the kids woke up and headed off to church. When they came back home they had a handfull of gifts!
I have an entire collection now of Bath and Body stuff that I absolutely love! There is not a better gift for me than something from Bath and Body Works!
Then, Emilie hands me all these cards from her class and the KPC's from church wishing me a happy mother's day and get well wishes. HOW CUTE!!! Again...not expected but a nice surprise.

Shane and Alice joined us for lunch. Wait! Scratch that! THEY COOKED US LUNCH ON OUR GRILL!!! And it was very tastey! This is our first cookout of the year and I couldn't think of anyone better to spend it with. They stayed most of the afternoon and kept me company. I have to tell it all though, Shane did play Dance Dance Revolution with Ian. Not once...but many times! I didn't go and watch, but I could hear it from the other room, and he sounded pretty good!

My parents came over for a light dinner and desert and just headed out the door. I feel so blessed by my family and friends. They have been so good to me.

My plan this week is to try to increase my activity a little each day so that when Friday comes around, I will be able to drive again and hopefully by then, all the pain and side effects will be to a minimum. But as for now, I am still taking it easy as I don't want to make things worse. I'm ready to get better now!

Friday, May 09, 2008

What a difference

What a difference a day, an hour, or a minute can make.

Yesterday was fabulous! The morning started off great and I felt in great spirits. In the afternoon, Shane stopped by to deliver me a DVD if last Sunday's sermon that I could not wait to watch. The kids came home, everyone was in a good mood and all was great. Then all of a sudden things changed. I don't know the dynamic of what made the change but it knocked me down the rest of the night. Theresa called from Praise Team and I have to say, that was emotionally moving. Even through the phone, they sound AMAZING!!!! I was really excited to be able to hear them sing and oh how beautiful it was!
Theresa came by to visit and I had to take my meds while she was here. I was feeling pretty bad. But by the time she left, everything was funny again! ;o)

Thursday, May 08, 2008


Kids are so funny!!!

My mom called from school and said:

"You need to monitor the things your daughter brings to school!"

I was in shock! "Oh no...what did she do???"

Mom said "This is teacher appreciation week and she brought a homemade card to her teacher Mrs. Potter"

I said "Yes...I know....what's wrong with that"

"She addressed it to Mrs. Pooter!"


Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Top That!!!!

I have to say that the Yeats win the award!!!! Tonight when my dinner was delivered...not only did they stay aroundfor half an hour, but they brought a whole host of jokes with them. I loved Hunters reaction to the "inappropriate" jokes!!! This family made me laugh tonight. Poor St. Peter! I love how he showed up in a lot of the jokes.

All my meals have been wonderful....all my host have been wonderful...and I have been so blessed!!!!

Today was a rather good day, but tonight I'm a bit worn out. But the day went by fast and I'm so thankful!

Things I've learned....

Since my days consist of laying on the couch, I don't have a lot of interesting things to say.

I have learned that TV is very boring but there are really some very good shows out there for the family though. I still love the classics like Happy Days and The Andy Griffith Show.

I asked Emilie what she wants to be when she grows up and she said:
"An old lady that lives under a bridge"
I'm glad she sets her standards pretty high.

Around 5:00 I looked over at Emilie and I said "I Love You"
She just rolled her eyes. So I said it again, and again, and again...and told her I wouldn't stop until she said it back. So she says:
"MOOOOOMMMMMM! I'll say it at midnight"
I said: "You'll be asleep"
She responds: "Exactly"

I've learned that pain killers bring on some of the most horrible nightmares! Not fun!

I think Chad is living it up driving my car these days!

Chad is doing an AMAZING job at keeping the house clean, dishes clean, and laundry done. Not to mention getting the kids off to school daily and making sure everything is done. Even running all the little silly errands I do 100 times a day! YAY CHAD!

I've learned that I really miss home cooked meals!

Monday, May 05, 2008


Today is the 5th day post op. Bedrest is for the birds! I have slept enough for the rest of the year. Or maybe I have slept enough for all the sleep I have lost. Who knows. My medication keeps me groggy and down all the time so that's not really fun. I finally started to eat a little yesterday. I haven't felt like eating since the surgery.

I feel so blessed to have many friends that came by to visit and those that still call just to carry on a conversation so I don't get bored. I may not have anything interesting to talk about, so it's fun to have others call me and tell me something funny so I can laugh. I think laughter is the best medicine. So anyone with good jokes or funny stories...feel free to send them my way! Or call me! I love to hear from you.

The food that has been brought by has been wonderful. The generosity is wonderful. I wish people would stay and visit. Being here gets pretty lonely. You can only read so can only watch TV so much. After a while, everyone needs that human touch, a hug, some laughter, etc.

So, this is my boring blog. Not much to say. Just needing something different to do.

Sunday, May 04, 2008