Thursday, September 27, 2007


Do you ever notice your a change in yourself when you are tired? I am a totally different person when I am tired! I'm become the quiet introvert! It's pretty amusing to me. It's not that often that I get this tired.

I spent the past 3 days at Dry Gulch camp with over 200 6th graders from Ian's middle school. Now, everyone who knows me really knows this is not my thing. I go to camp once a year with our kiddos from church and I absolutely love it. Now I have been to Dry Gulch and love it too. Do you think that God is working on me? This is not one of my strengths but maybe now it is becoming one of them.

I was put into a bunk with Ian and 14 other boys. This was very challenging to say the least. But I couldn't have asked for a better group of well behaved boys. I got my bluff in with them early so they knew I meant business and didn't try any funny stuff.

We did so much stuff there that I can't possibly name it all. I have to say that my favorite had to be the horseback riding. I had to laugh though because I was riding a muel! Not a horse.

We danced quite a bit this week, I made some new friends with the moms and dads that went, and had some bonding one on one time with Ian. It was a great week. They don't do this again until the 8th grade and I am already looking forward to then.

And on an ending note...I just have to say...I love my kids. I know at times they are so diffcult to be around...but I truly love them. Not only because I am their mom, but because they are truly great kids. I could just sit and watch them all day and never get tired of it. I love their questions, their curiosity, and their laughs. Kids are so fun and innocent and I love that God wants us to be childlike because I think I achieved that this week. But right about now, that is all catching up with my actual age.

Oh...and one more final note...following that last ending note....;o)
The kids had an assignment to get together and write a song to present to the entire camp on Thursday morning. There were 22 bunks that presented their songs and can you believe....MY BUNK CABIN WON!!! I helped them write lyrics to "We will rock you" and they loved it. They wern't the only group to use that song, but we were the only group with cool lyrics to it. I was very proud of them for winning. They did a great job. to bed!

Monday, September 24, 2007

Friday, September 21, 2007

No TV!

I've been trying something new lately. It's No TV. I have come to find I like the peace and quiet much more. My thoughts are more clear. I feel I have more patience and I feel just an overwhelming sense of calm.

Now...if I could only do that with the phone and the internet...I'd have it made!

Thursday, September 20, 2007

I'm such a proud mom!

Today has just really been a "peaceful" day for me and that is not normal in our house. So many good things have been happening and it's so nice.
One thing...I have not been able to go to Lukus' soccer games in over a year and today they had a makeup game...AND I GOT TO GO! My mom came along as well as Dan, Theresa, and the kids. Chad was there of course pacing back and forth being a soccer dad. Theresa captured these great pics for me!

They didn't win the game but it doesn't matter. This boy certainly has won my heart from the first day he took his first breath. I always ask my kids "Do I love you enough" and they never fail to tell me yes! a good day!

Song of my morning...

Lord I come to you
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace I've found in you

And lord I come to know
The weakness I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of your love

Hold me close, let your love surround me
Bring me near, draw me to your side
And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with you, your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love

Lord unveil my eyes, let me see you face to face
The knowledge of your love as you live in me
And lord renew my mind, as your will unfolds in my life
In living everyday, by the power of your love

Hold me close, let your love surround me
Bring me near, draw me to your side
And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with you, your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love


Wednesday, September 19, 2007

I get this often

So last Friday night we went out with Dan & Theresa and the waitress said in her country accent "Oh you look like Trisha Yearwood"
It wasn't a surprise as I hear that often, however, I just don't see it. You can compare below. A pic of Trisha, and one from me taken that night....which is just ridiculous.

Monday, September 17, 2007

What did He see?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you couldn't see? How would that effect you? Whould it change your outlook on life? I wonder....
I have a friend and her husband became blind several years ago from a surgery he had. He has vision only out of one eye and his vision is like looking through a pinhole out into the world. To me, that is very frustrating.

I often wonder about my own eyesight. I have enough problems seeing correctly because I don't enjoy wearing my glasses. However, that's not the eyesight I'm referring to. It's my "I-sight" in my christian life. I try to be conscience of this but it gets away from me. The way I view myself is not the way that God intened in the beginning. My I-sight usually comes from what others have said, done, or things my ears have heard but not at all what God sees in me. Let's just say that my vision is somewhat blurred.

So who can correct my vision? Is it just me? Or do we need our optomitrist "Dr. G" (that would be God) to do a little laser eye correction on us?
There is a verse in a song we sing:
Open my eyes, to what you see
To understand what I should be
My feelings get, the best of me
Open my eyes, to what you see.

How can I focus on seeing what God sees in me and looking at others the way He looks at them. That's the Christian I want to be.
Matthew 9:35-40
35Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

Sunday, September 16, 2007

What is so funny?

Rarely do I ever get a good night sleep. Especially when I know I have to get up early the next day. One of our biggest problems is Emilie coming in and waking us in the middle of the night saying she had a bad dream.

So last night was no different, other than she came in more than once. But the night was different for me. For some reason, about 3:30am I started laughing uncontrollably in my sleep. So bad I was snorting!!! At some point, I woke Chad up by my uncontrollably shaking and snorting. He didn't say anything to me, but he assurred me that he turned over and rolled his eyes. I don't know how long this episode lasted, but whatever it was, it sure was funny.

I fully believe that God gives us the ability to dream. I'm not sure about the message that comes across though. I haven't quite figured out if he's trying to tell me something or not. But I am so happy that we have a God that will allow me to not only cry in my sleep, but laugh uncontrollably!

Thursday, September 13, 2007

God's being real.

Do you ever think that God is pleading with you to make some type of change in your life? Could be spiritual...which would be the first thought. But also how about physical or emotional?

In the physical sense, maybe God is pleading with us to get in shape and be physically fit. "Dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship" (Romans 12:1).

How about emotional...maybe He is asking from something of us there. (Philippians 4:6)Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

For me right now it is controlling my tongue in so many ways. Whether it be with my family, my kids, my friends, or a stranger on the street. I want to reveal God's love with everyone I meet. When I get comfortable in a friendship, satan takes a hold of my tongue and gets me off course.

I think the fact that I can recognize it is the biggest start. I pray that God forgives me when I not only hurt others, but myself and most of all Him.

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Live on the G-list....GOD'S LIST!!!

I'm not one for gossip, but I got glued to the television this morning when I heard the ladies on the view talking about Kathy Griffin. Here is some info:

LOS ANGELES -- Before Kathy Griffin won a creative arts Emmy last weekend for her reality show, "My Life on the D-List," she joked that an award would move her to the C-list.

She was right: "C" as in censored. The TV academy said her raucous acceptance speech will be edited when the event, which was taped, is shown Saturday on the E! channel. The main prime-time Emmy Awards air the next night on Fox.

"Kathy Griffin's offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night," the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences said in a statement Monday.

In her speech, Griffin said that "a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."
She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, "This award is my god now!"
The comedian's remarks were condemned Monday by Catholic League President Bill Donohue, who called them a "vulgar, in-your-face brand of hate speech."

According to the TV academy and E!, when the four hour-plus ceremony is edited into a two-hour program, Griffin's remarks will be shown in "an abbreviated version" in which some language may be bleeped.

I am so pleased to hear that they will be editing her remarks. I understand free-speech, but I do believe there is a line you don't cross and this is one o those.

I pray for Kathy and that she will come to know the God that I know.

Monday, September 10, 2007

I have a dream....

In our town we have many Church's of Christ. In my life, I have been members of 3 of these congregations.

This summer we went to Jr. Camp with one of the other churches and we had some great discussions about their church, our church, and the others as well. I loved that we all came to the same conclusion...."We are all one body of Christ".

We discussed all the things we could do together and how powerful we could be if we got our two churches together. Camps, night's of praise, picnic's, softball tournaments, etc. and inviting our outside neighbors for the fun of all of it.
Even on Workshop Wednesday....what if we only had 1 place to go and we were all there together??? HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? Do you know how many people leave from one church and go to another on that night so that they can get a taste of everything that is going on and see friends in both places? What if we had it all in just one location! One big celebration. Do we not do it because one church wants chicken and the other wants pizza? I certainly think that we can have our cake and eat it too!

I am all about seeking the lost outside our 4 walls of the church building. Our Father wants that from us. I'm sad about those that leave other congregations that are not happy. I'm sad for those that leave ours too. I believe within our walls we have so many that are lost and are still searching for something. How do we identify what IT is? How do we help those within our family so that we can be glorifying God together which will eventaully lead us to our friends outside that we haven't met yet? What it is that we, or any other church, is lacking?

I left the church I grew up in after my family left and I graduated high school. I wasn't mad and feel very loved when I return. I can't pinpoint the reason we left exactly, but I think for me it was an identity thing. I went there my entire life and when my parents quit going, I was bombarded with questions of why and when are they returning. Those are questions I did not have answers for and still do not.

About 3 years later we joined another church after the birth of our first child. They loved on us and it immediately became home to us. We stayed there for 9 years and loved it. As things changed for our family, location was huge for us. We needed something closer to home so we decided it was time for another change...but didn't know what God was going to do for us.

Now we live 4 minutes from our church family and it feels like home. We love it, can't get enough of it, and they truly make us feel like we are special. We are not special, we are God's chosen children and that is what is important. What excites me is that this church doesn't have to make us feel special, but they do. Without even trying. They do it in so many ways and I am the lucky one. I am blessed!

So my sadness comes in when I feel a part of 3 church families that don't really interact with eachother. We do some occasional things together, but I'm talking support. We're in the same town! As I watch these two struggle, I can't help but can we show Kingdom love and Kingdom support to them?
What if we just show up for one of their church services on a Sunday and surprise them? Let them know we are on their side. What if we hold a picnic in their honor....and invite them? What if we join them at their place for the workshop shindig, what if we do missions together, what if we camp together, what if, what if, what if???? I could go on all day!

It maybe far fetched...but it's my way of saying..."I have a dream"

Thursday, September 06, 2007

Misson work on Youtube?

Can you do mission work through Youtube??? I think so!
Last year we made the video of Ian regarding Aspergers Syndrome. I left it posted on and left it open to any comments. I have been surprised at the things others have said. Especially from all around the world. I'll share a few with you!
hey hello
my name's benito
am living in brussels the capital of europe
i was diagonosed with asperger when i was 15
onestly i grater never would've know it

i think the best would be if you don't let your son go to deep init
not make him think that he's much diffrent
it can be a gift sometimes if you learn how to juse it
i am 18 know an still strugglin with it , but am getting trough
am sure you're son will to
keep him bussy as posible
and guide him trough , and eventwully he'll make it trough
i never had any help for it , i had to find it all out my self , i have it verry hard with doing stuff that i don't control my self , like working for a boss and stuff , but thats all a thought , if you afraid to lose you can be certain that you will lose ..
am sure he'll find his way
try to understand him because he dosen't understand himself
though i tell my self that am no diffrent that am just making excuses , it is harder
every corner i have to think and think and think to make it trough ,
guide him trough his hard times and am verry sure that he'll make it ...
well justed wanted to say hello and give my respeckt
much luv from brussels

for Ian
Never give up, Be yourself, yes life is hard, but that is what will make you stronger. I would like to share with you with a story that has helped me in my life

In Australia there grows eucaliptus trees. Left alone the tree can grow to an astounding hight within the space of just a couple of years. Unfortunately something else is present in Australia and that is high winds. As you probably know the part of the tree we can see i.e. the trunk and branches grow much much faster than the roots so these left alone trees which are very tall but have developed very shallow roots get blown over and ripped out of the ground. However luckily for the trees there is something else in Austrailia that eats eucaliptus trees, the koala bear. The koala eats the shoots and leaves of the tree which makes it grow a lot slower which gives the roots a chance to grow deep and strong into the earth. These trees when the winds come are able to withstand the force due to their deep strong roots. This story may seem a bit wierd but look at it this way: we are like the trees and the koalas are like all of the bad things people say or do to to us. They hurt like mad as if we are being eaten away at, but it makes us grow strong roots so that when bigger challenges come such as the strong wind for the trees we are more able to handle it.

Friendship is hard to find in this world sometimes but you will make it, I believe in you
God Bless you

Thanks so much for the information. I am not yet sure how I will procede. I know my son will not be receptive to the idea... as he already verbalizes how much he dislikes me reading books, etc. on child behavior.
He doesn't get in a lot of trouble at school, it's just I don't think they truly understand him. He can be very shy, independent, confident, argumentative and shut-down so easily that I think they view him as stubborn, rude, arrogant and disrespectful (but very smart)..... and this is the reason I am considering having him evaluated... as you said, without the diagnosis, there isn't a whole lot you can do with the school. But also, so that we can help him help himself. Academically he is doing just fine, even tested as gifted, and excels in math... it's mainly social skills.

My greatest fear is getting him "labeled" and that it would be a mistake... then it would be something that I could never take back. For my son, Adam, I feel that he is on the mild end of the spectrum and that it is more of a personality than anything that requires medications,etc. I was hoping to have a heart-to-heart with his teacher at the start of the school year and avoid having him diagnosed...but maybe I'm just in denial. How does your son handle the diagnosis? Do you make other parents and children aware of the diagnosis? I understand it is all in how it is presented, that it is not a disease, just characteristics, etc... I just want to do the right thing.
Tammy- Tulsa, OK

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Let me talk about me....

There are a few things about me that I don't include in the everyday conversation...I was a banker for 12 years, a figure Ice skater 10 years, played the piano for 5 years (but still love to play), I was in winterguard/colorguard and very competitive, and was an equestrian rider for most of my childhood. Most of the time, these things just don't come up. Big things or little things...most of the time I just don't think about it. Funny though, I remember the bad more vividly than I remember the good.

I went recently to speak again at a baptist church for their womens ministry. Now granted, I have no education background in ministry and not really qualified to speak before them, but ran a pretty good women's ministry when we went to Jenks church. But these ladies wanted me to share some of the same stories of sturggles and trials that I went through in my life with some of their newer members. It was a touching time as they had so many questions.

I made my life out into a time line of events that I feel I have survived and overcome through the grace of God. I shared some pretty sad pictures and funny ones too. They were touched and I was happy to see that what I have been through can be used to glorify God and to help others.

5 years ago I went through Pathways so that I could learn to face things head on and deal with the things that would come up.
Back then, I probably would have considered suicide. Not really my first option, but some of those days I felt it was my only option.
Sure, I knew God, and I loved Him so much. That's why I decided not to make that selfish decision. My life was falling apart and I needed to find hope and faith and strength and love. This is where I found my mission statement for my life..."I am a strong woman with love and power, resting securely in the arms of God" What else needs to be said after that? I found what I needed.

I get excited and I laugh now when people assume that I never stuggle in life. I struggle all the time. Most of the time, only my closest friends know about it.
I think about being abused DAILY! I think about losing my marriage DAILY! I think about losing a son DAILY! I think about birth defects DAILY! I think about it....and think about it...and think about it.
I always have wanted to use these struggles in ways to help others out.
I've lived a good life. One lady argued with me that my life didn't sound that great. Especially my childhood. But I had to remind her that if I didn't have faith in God, I wouldn't be here today. God is my answer to all my sufferings. Not that he wants me to suffer, but he wants me to survive.

I'm strong. And I love that about me. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor.
And everday that I breathe, I survive something else.

Monday, September 03, 2007

Food, Fun, and Great Friends

There's nothing better than spending a holiday with great friends! Dan, Theresa, and the kids joined us at my parents house today for a fun day of swimming and great food for the Labor Day holiday. I can't think of any better way to spend the day than with people you love and care about the most.

Even in a great game of Water Volleyball, Theresa and I can't keep from laughing and joking around. Although, I think we were drowning more than we were hitting the ball.