Saturday, May 27, 2006

Wow...I'm exhausted!

Today was my first day of clinicals and boy...I never knew how exhausted I would be. I got up at 4:45am so I could be fully awake and fresh and at the hospital by 5:45am. I didn't realize how long it had been since I had worked an 8 hour shift. I went to pre-conference before going to the floor. I was excited and a bit nervous all at once. After arriving to the floor and meeting the staff of nurses and techs, I knew I was really where my heart wanted to be. I worked with 7 cardiac patients all day and kept very busy. It was such a rewarding experience. After my shift was over, I went to post-conference with my instructor and I can tell you, I was on that high! I even made the comment "I wish we could work 12 hours shifts." She just laughed!
By the time I got home, I started to wind down from all the hope of the day and wow...I was completely EXHAUSTED!!! I had no idea how tired I really was. Something so rewarding to me just drained me to the core. I came home and completely passed out!
So now the weekend is here and I will have to study hard all weekend for this upcoming test but I can't wait for next week clinicals. Yesterday made it all worth it to me. I know now, this is exactly what I want to do.

Monday, May 22, 2006

The smile keeps coming

So here I am today...walking into my second week of class...ready to take my quiz that I've worked so hard for and something hits me!!! I forgot to study an entire page! Woops! Now, these quizzes are not like simple little quizzes...they are the size of some test in my other classes. It's not just like a small 10 point thing...they are pretty big. So I'm worried. We've already had 3 of these and I've made 100% on every one of them. Now what am I going to do. You cannot make below an 80 at all or you have to come some other time and reatake it.

So I looked at the clock and saw I had 10 mintues to study for the quiz. So I take out my notes, and have at it. I'm trying everything in my power to relate every word I see to something in my brain so that I can somehow remember all this valuable information in 10 minutes. But how...there's way too much stuff here. Well...I just figure, I'll do what I know and pray on the rest.

So she hands out the quiz. Now..quiz right??? 3 PAGES and only 20 minutes!!!!

I decided to start with the stuff that I had just studied which was on the final page. I thought I was doing a pretty good job getting the answers right. Then we go onto the first two pages which are just lovely to look at. I complete it with a little time to spare so I can recheck my answers and I turn it over and don't look back.

There's no way I can pass this with only going over the materical 10 minutes before.

So we have to wait until we get home to see our score.

I pull it up and it says "100%" WHAT????? CAN THIS BE RIGHT? I couldn't be that lucky can I?

Well, I did know the material. I found it easier when I could relate what I was reading to a real life sceniaro and it worked. I took them out of their context and made them into my own and it made it much easier to remember.

I hope the actual test isn't that difficut but for now, I'm pressing on and I want to keep up this score that I have recieved each time. It's totally worth all this hard work. It's paying off too and I'm so excited!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


Well the fight is over. THE PIT BULL IS GONE!!! And so are the neighbors!

Wow...This has been an ongoing battle for me since we first encounterd the pit bull problem in our neighborhood in December of 2005. In short, my neighbors pit bull continued to jump the fence into our backyard and come after our dog and our children. So many laws were being broken I took the matter into my own hands. (thanks to my government class)

I found out so many laws were being broken and I couldn't just stand by in good faith and watch this happen. Especially when it was happening to me and my family.

After I filed many will file citations, many fines issued, court appearances, jail time for the owners, and a load of controversary in the neighborhood, the problem is solved. Our neighbors have now moved out and they are gone. YAY!

I started to think back to what our country would be like if Hamilton had never written Federalist 6. We would be at war with our neighboring states if we didn't have a constitution. Much like I was just with my neighbors in my own back yard. I LOVE the wording Hamilton uses to describe men in his writing..."men are ambitious, vindictive and rapacious." I mean really...I would think that Hamilton himself had met some of the people in my neighborhood.

He talks about how we need to have men who are ready to stand for us. Well educated men...Much like the representative Bill Martinson over district 5 for our neighborhood who oversaw this ordeal and took it head on. In my very short 32 years of life...I have never met anyone who was willing to show up at my home, unannounced and ready to talk about my rights and problems and ways to solve this. Someone that was willing to work with our neighborhood as a complete union to find a common and peaceful ground. I mean...That's what it's all about. Who really wants to be fighting with their neighbors?

Hamilton was a very passionate person in my opinion. His writings are really rare in unique due to his passion and commitment to his beliefs and convictions. All the Federalist papers are very passionate but this one absolutely hits home with me. I'm sure in due time, I will find out how other things in my life are affected by these great men who were much wiser than I can ever dream of being. I owe a debt of gratitude to these men for helping us become what we are today. United!!!!

Summer Class in Session YAY!

The summer is upon us and yet another new semester for me. I've been pretty nervous because I have heard how difficult this summer fast track course is going to be. However, I am almost finished with my first week and I am very surprised and happy with the PCT course. I won't say it is easy, but certainly takes a lot of time and prep work for everyday. There is not a moment that I won't be buried in books. I started out ahead so that I won't fall behind and that is truly a key to success. I am always one that wants to be on top of the game. I don't want to run along side and just keep my head above water, I want to succeed with overwhelming success.

This past semester turned out to be very difficult. I was successful in completing the classes but not without a lot of anxiety along the way. But who said that this was ever going to be easy? Ha! Nothing worth fighting for in this world comes easy.

I stop to think about if I was in a hospital, what kind of nurse would I want working on me? Would I want the one that took the easy road, or the one who dug deep within herself to make the best of who she is and what she was about to become. I want the one that is driven, motivated, and on fire about her job. I want one that is dedicated to her work as if it were her own family. Yep...I believe that's the kind of nurse I want to be when I finish.

Do you ever see success in your future? Dream about the future and what it will be like for you? I certainly do that everyday. I feel so motivated to get up each morning and face each day with a renewed sense of adventure. Each class I take has been an adventure and I love it. I haven't loved every class, but for the most part, this has really been a great ride so far.

So as I am completing my first week of an 8 week course, I look forward to the next 7 ahead. I've taken 3 quizzes already with absolutely perfect scores. I don't want to settle for anything less than perfection. Someone's life may be in my hands someday and I want then to know they are safe. That's just the kind of person that I want to be. Maybe not perfect, but certainly successful.

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Bad day...and then relief

You ever just have one of those days where you just feel everything is going to go right and then everything goes worng? Well...this is my venting session so I'll warn you now. But it does have a good ending.
Today was the start of my PCT training and what I thought was going to be a busy going to prove to be overwhelming. I don't want to count my eggs before they hatch....but when you go into the class and the first person they introduce you to is the psychotherapist....then you know you are in trouble. First words were "You want to get to know this lady"...holy cow.
So we go through 3 1/2 hours of all the information and we go to the bookstore to get our books and uniforms that were ordered...2 MONTHS AGO....and they are not in. I have to have 5 chapters read by Monday morning, but yet, they can not have the material??? I just don't get it!!! They knew sevearl months ago we would need textbooks by today...then why don't we have them. I think this is such a problem with the school. But yet, no matter what you do, who you complain to, you can't get anyone to listen. I spent most of my day seeing of I could locate the text book online somewhere to I could try to get it overnighted to us but luck. This is not a good way for me to start off the semester. Or any of the 50 students in class.
So then I get home to pick up the kids and find out that Ian was accused of being a liar by one of the teachers at school. Not only did she accuse him, she boldly told me that he did this and has no proof. Other than the other student is a "model" student and couldn't possibly ever do anything wrong. It was a very unprofessional conversation as she walked away from me before we were finished. It's not that Ian couldn't make up a story...Lord knows he's a 10 year old boy...but to say that the other student couldn't make up a story too is just obsurd.
I heard Ian's story and I truly believe him. He has never changed his story no matter how many times I ask and I don't believe he is lying.

I think the thing that bothers me is this. Just because Ian has problems, he has been stuck with a repuation since he was in Kindergarten. Is it fair? NO! How does anyone expect him to change? He works so hard to make a good impression and be a good boy, but then when he does, it seems to go unnoticed. I can't fight all his fights for him. I can't win this battle. I don't want to win. But I don't want my sons integrity deminished becuase of his past. That's like a person going to jail...doing 10 years of time...getting out...and then never being able to be forgiven for their past mistakes. I don't know maybe I am over analyzing this whole thing but at this point, I am just so upset for Ian.

Tonight at heart was hurting so bad! You can tell this day had just gone wrong from the beginning. So we get there and all the chairs were set in small circles. So I knew...."Oh yeah...we're praying tonight" So we go to the front...cause I love to sit in the front...and we have people come sit with us that do not normally sit with us. That made me feel so good. Normally you go in and sit with your friends, or people from your small group, and that's so easy. Those people already know your junk. So tonight, here we are with new people...some we had to even introduce ourselves to...even though they have gone there for years....and the prayer time began. We had a great leader who started with a very good prayer and eased us into it. But when I started to look down...I just couldn't help but feel the tears run down my face. What? I didn't feel like I was crying. You know that feeling you get when you try to hold back the tears...well...I wasn't trying to hold back...I just bowed...and the flood came. I was able to open up and pray a what I believe was a very selfish prayer for myself and for the day that I had. Almost INSTANTLY I felt this release of negative energy come off of shoulders and I felt like a burden had been lifted. That's totally what I needed. I just needed to talk to God about it. I really didn't want to go to church tonight, but I had hopes there would be something there that would get me out of my funk and lift my spirits.

By the time we left, I felt like a totally different person. I walked through those doors tonight very hard harted and upset and came out with a sense of peace.

At least the day ended on a good note. I love days like this and must thank God for each of them.