Thursday, June 22, 2006

Pride, Selflessness, and Appreciation

Do you ever do something because you heart tells you it's the right thing to do? And then your heart hurts after you did it?

I did that today. Actually, something I was proud of at the moment when I did it. Made me feel good about who I am.

I asked myself first,"What is your motivation behind doing this?" My answer to me was...."Because it's the right thing to do!"

My next question was "Am I reaping any benefits from doing this?" The answer was no.

I asked myself..."What would Jesus do?" And I thought to myself for a moment....and proceeded with my decision. I think that is why it felt so good. saying that, here I am, many hours later and my heart hurts. Not because of what I did...but because I want to be totally and 100% selfless. I don't feel selfish really....but I know that somewhere deep down in me...there is a part of me that is. There is that little devil in me questioning my good intentions. Why on earth is it doing this to me? I want to know I did exactly what I did for the right reasons and be okay with it.

Then there comes another word that is hard on me...Pride! In making my decision, I had to totally swallow my pride. That's not easy. Pride is a strong word.

There really are a couple of definitions for Pride:
A sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect

Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness.

Now...I don't really like to think that I am that second one...but today I did have to lay aside my own dignity and self-respect for someone else.

The only way that I can stop and think about that is Love. I made a decision because I wanted to show someone love. This person may never know it, may never appreciate it, may never even realize what I did, but I wanted to do it so that they may find some happiness in their life. So I was willing to give up some of mine.

The part where I really struggled today is not appreciating myself for what I did. I allowed those other thoughts and old tapes to come into play and stopped realizing I did a good thing.

So in typing this, I guess my revelation in all of this is how to appreciate myself for the good things I do. I know God loves me and He appreicates me....that's all that matters!

Sunday, June 18, 2006

More about that family night!

So this is my mother and my aunt Cyndi.
This is my sister in law Jessica...yes...he does my hair!!! And a great job too!!!
Here are the men of our family!
We have this thing about wearing the same shirts all the time. It's so hilarious.

Hominy, Hominy, Hominy

This is me and my brother.

This is me and my niece.
So this is family night out to dinner. Last night we all drove out to Hominy (about an hour away) to visit Yoana's dad's new restaurant. We had great service and great food. Not much to say about the town but we had a great time together.

Trees, and Limbs...

So this was the neighborhood after our last storm. I am just not getting around to geting the pictures up but you can see how bad the destruction was.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Baking Soda and Vinegar

It's truly amazing what children will do after watching the science guy on TV. Not that it's bad or anything, but my kids are now totally into expolding thing with the simple solutioin of baking soda and vinegar.

First it was Ian wanting to try it and at the first shot of the film canister skyrocketing into the air, he comes bursting in the door, to influence the other two. After a few tries, Emilie gets involved with the boys. Now....I'm sad to say that poor little polly pockets stand no chance up against my kids as they strapped little miss polly to the canister and up, up, up and away she went with a mighty explosion. I was so sad for her. But it was fun to warch. The kids now decide to get red food coloring and put it into the guessed it. The visual affect of blood. Oi! What's a mother to do but sit back and enjoy the scenery. Eventually, we turned it into green food coloring and called it slime! That was much better.!

Friday, June 16, 2006

EKG, Lunch & Spirituality!

Today I had the pleasure of spending my day at Hillcrest. I was in the EKG department all day and it was a blast. I know that hospital forward and backward now and boy, did I ever get my exercise going from floor to floor. Before I knew it, five hours had passed by and it was time for lunch. Then after lunch, time to go home. It was a great day!!!
I was fortunate to be able to participate in part of the Hospital's "Lunch and Learn" series today. The topic covered was "Spirituality in the Medical Atmosphere". I was quite interested. Even though I have my beliefs on this, it was really nice to see the case studies completed and the research on what effect spirituality can have on a believing patient vs. non believing. Not saying they all believe in God, but most of them believing in a higher power. The mortality rates of patients who were prayed for vs the ones that were not prayed for was incredible. And even moreso those that prayed for themselves. But I was most intrigued with the power of prayer by intercession. The fact that there was a study compiled where patients did not know they were being prayed for specifically and their health increased tremendously. Now, do I doubt this? Absolutely not. I beieve that God works in all things. There were a couple of skeptics in the room that believed it was all by coincidence, but I do believe that when you ask, you shall receive and if these patients were prayed for and got better, then I think that was by God's doing. Doesn't matter weather or not the patient believed in the theory. The fact is that it happened. I'm glad we have a God that is big enough to handle my small prayers. Even when I, or anyone else think they are so overwhelming...He proves to me over and over that He will always prevail. It just works out better that way.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Missing my blog time

It's been a while....

So my PCT class has entered its fifth week and going strong. My home hospital is St. Francis and I'm loving it. I am finding this is truly my passion. I love the patients that I see each week and provide care for. Every day is a new person and a new story. Some good news, some bad news. But all in all, it's all the news of life and the way things happen. They may not always be the way that we planned them, but this is all part if a devine intervention. Everyone has different beliefs, but one thing is for sure, everyone wants to be loved and cared for.

The class alone is going well for me. It's not easy by far, but again, I like a challange. I'm not the best test taker, but I have found this class has motivated me to challange my test taking skills and make them better. Analyze them, break them down, and see how I can make the most out of each question. If only every test in my life were an essay test, I would have it made!!!

I was excited to meet with the nursing advisors this week and found out that I have met the requirements to apply right now for the nursing program and begin in January. I can't believe I have made it this far. However, there would be two classes that I would have to take concurrent with the nursing classes and I just don't think I want to add that onto my plate. I decided I'm not in that big of a hurry to finish that quick.
I see all these young girls really pushing themselves to the max with their classes. They are not enjoying themselves. Some are young and single, but most are young and married. Even with little children. Then there are those like me who are in their 30's and kids in school. I want that liberty to still be with the kids as they are growing up and enjoying them. Even though I'm in school, doesn't mean I can't enjoy this time too. This time is precious. I won't quit. But I won't over extend myself at the expense of my family life. School will always be here for me. And so will my family. But they get older by the minute and I want to be part of each second. Cause every second counts.