Tuesday, November 11, 2008


Tonight I was driving home and listening to the "Love" song station. Something a rarely do. But there were too many commercials on the others.

As I'm driving I'm listening to stories being told by war veterens and the bravery it took for them to fight like they did. Brought tears to my eyes, as well as the DJ trying to make it through the stories.
The next song to come on was "God Bless the USA". How appropriate for today's holiday. As it stated "If tomorrow all the things were gone....." and I didn't get any further than that. The tears started flowing. And it had nothing to do with the holiday in which they were honoring.

I do many stupid things. I feel like everytime I turn around, I screw everything up. I'm a bright person. A talented individual. Smart and whitty. But even the best of these sometimes make bad decisions. And sometimes, it's not even about the decisions made, it's about the LACK of decisions made.

I'm facing some trials that involve others. People that I love. And the decisions I need to make in my life may end up hurting them. This does not feel like a good road for me and the timing is just not right. But someone once said "I can't wait for the perfect time, I must dare to jump."

Jumping is not what I am afriad of, it is the landing. Landing alone.
I am one of the luckiest people that I know. I have more friends than one could imagine. So how can I feel alone? I'm NEVER alone! I am told constantly "You Know Everyone" ;o)

I have a choice to make. Will I jump? Or will I continue living a life with a broken heart. When my heart is broken, it affects everyone I know. That is not what I want.

My lack of responsiblity in life leads me to an illness that I can not control.

It's time......to be responsible.

I am who I am today because of the choices I made yesterday.

Maybe tomorrow....will be a new day.

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