Day 12....Talented

Okay...now a day early and ahead...but I have a FULL day tomorrow!

I am TALENTED!

I don't think anyone out there really knows how talented I really am.
And some....don't appreciate my talent as much as I do, and as much as God does. It doesn't make me arrogant, it just makes me love who I am more despite what others think. If I go around in life trying to live up to their expectations, the only thing that comes out of it is hurt, heartache, jealousy, and distant relationships.
I have to appreciate the talent I have because God gave it to me and I love that about me.

I play the piano. I love it. I have fun at it. I love to write music and if I could do anything, it would be sit at the piano for hours and hours and just play. It is one of the gifts that my parents gave me as a child by sending me for lessons. I can't remember how many years I took, but it was long enough to stick so that I can still play very well today.

Soon after that I learned to play the flute and can still play it today. It's not much different than the piano as far as the score goes, but it's a beautiful instrument that I enjoy playing and hearing the beautiful sounds it makes.

I love to sing. More than anything. I love to play the piano and sing at the same time. It's like double the blessing. God gifted me with a beautiful voice. Some like it, some don't. That's okay. What's important is that I like it. It's a huge blessing to me to be able to lift Him up in song and sing to my hearts content. Weather it is in the shower or in my car, I am singing all day long. I communicate my feeling best through song. Most of the time, it doesn't hit me at first. Sometimes, it takes a while. Some of my darkest days in my life I have spent singing to myself, and some of the most joyous times I have spent singing...well...to myself as well.

I will never forget the first time I ever sang solo. It was in 2004, Chad and I were going through such a rough time in life and we had reached a point of healing and reconciliation. It was truly one of the best years and worst years of our lives together. He asked me to renew our vows....and we did, in a very intimate ceremony with about 200 of our close friends in Dallas, we said everything we always wanted to say.
But before Chad knew what was happening, they handed me a mic, and I sang to him. I had to pretend nobody was there in order to get through it. I looked him straight in the eyes and belted that song with all I had. To this day, it was the most rewarding moments of my life to let go and have that freedom to use my voice in song. And I was surprised by not only the audience's reaction, but Chad's as well. I sang to him all the time, but never a moment like this. And singing at home and in the car held nothing to this day.

That day was life changing to me because I found a new way to be able to express my heart. Now, it's not perfect, and I have been arrogant, and I have been jealous, but I love how God is changing me and my heat to let go of those things, and let my caring, strength, love, and talent be used for His glory instead of my own.

Again....nothing else on this earth matters....except what I choose to do with the time I have left. And using these things I am finding in me...is what He is calling me to do.

Man....ya just gotta love that!