Praising with the best group of people.....

Is the only way I can express how I felt tonight during the premiere of praise! This group is the best group to work with and can make me laugh, cry, and have fun with the best of them. I love that about them. I don't know how to express my feelings about the French's departure. I'm sad for me, but happy for them. I feel like I have this hole in the pit of my stomach that just won't go away. Someday's it almost feels like someone has taken a part of a limb away. I know that's a bit much, but I feel they are like a part of my family and in a sense they are, my christian family that God has provided me with. I have learned so many wonderful things from this family that have taught me in my growth and walk on my path for spiritual maturity.
I crave everyday to find the path that God wants me to be on and so many times, they have been examples of Christ to me and I know I will truly miss witnessing that each week during our time together. Sure, it was always nice to get together on Tuesday night to sing and practice, but for me, it was more than that. It was a time for spiritual growth and learning. What more could God teach me this week. Not only from Allen and Anne, but from the rest of this team. I can tell you I gain such spiritual wisdom from this group. I feel selfish....somewhat like a taker....as Dr. Phil would say! I take so much from all of them each week as I go in and absorb what energy that God puts in that room that I sometimes don't feel like my contribution is always as 'spectacular'. Sure, I sing and I try my best, but I want more. I want my spiritual praising to be all about the Lord, Our Father, Our God, and I totally want his hand in everything I do and nothing else to matter. I think it is....for the most part....about that. Sometimes about the notes, but I want growth. I don't want my night consumed with anything else...if that makes sense.
I just see so much going on in the world today. So much hurt, so much anger, so much heartache, so much ugly stuff and I am still a very INMATURE CHRISTIAN in so many ways! But the one way that I feel SO mature is when in my heart I can just praise His name. I feel God gave me that gift to lift my voice in song. But is that enough??? I'm just not sure. I sing that song "Make me an instrument of Your peace" and I love that.....but am I always there? I need to be there.....being HIS instrument, doing his work, being his voice. Just not always sure if I'm always on the right track.
God what will you do with me today, tomorrow, and for enternity???
Use me, mold me, make me your instrument! I am so ready to do your will....I'm just waiting for your answer!