Okay...so my morning bible study challenged me last Friday. It wasn't what I expected to read at all and since I took on an extra shift and day at work this week....I didn't have time to just sit and ponder over this and pray about it in regards to my life.
Do you ever think at times that God just has picked YOU to do something that you really feel like isn't you?
Boy! I do! I find myself all too often telling God I'm not cut out for this or that...and then I'll wait. I'll wait for the "better" person to step up to do the job instead of me.
So where would we be today if Moses had done what I did? 3 times Moses told the Lord he could not do want he wanted him to do. "O Lord, I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue" (Exodus 4:10 ). But what did God do??? He developed a plan for Moses. Just like He does for us.
I can't tell you the countless times I have said "Lord...you've got the wrong person for this" but yet He always makes it clear to me WHY he has chosen me.
Being the mother of a child with a mental disability...I've said "Why did He choose me for this"
And the fact is....I know he chose me for so many reasons. Not sure I can always see what HE sees in me...but I know that he equipped me long before I ever thought of having kids to be able to cope and deal with this.
Going into the medical profession I often wonder..."Am I the right person for this" and then He showes me how I am able to help in some unbelievable situations.
Sometimes, I...like Moses....just don't have the right words to speak and ask Him or adequately tell him what I'm trying to communicate. But I know that God knows my fears before I come to Him. All I have to do is come.
The struggles this week are becoming ever more clear. New things have popped up that totally blindsided us. Nothing that I can't accomplish...it's just puts another spark in the flame...and that's okay. I know he has a plan and I have a plan...which is to follow HIS plan!
Psalm 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.
All my plans my not succeed in my book...but I believe they follow His plan. Now...my job...is to work with Him in obedience to what He has given me to do...and follow His plan. I think that's how both of us can come together.
Not sure I am communicating very well what my heart is going through...but it's worth a shot!
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I'm reminded of Gideon. Don't take this the wrong way, but God likes losers. Just look at the disciples.
I posted the below a few months ago on my blog. It was from Rob Bell's Dust. I hope it's not too long.
Believing in God is important, but what about God believing in us? Believing that we can actually be the kind of people we were meant to be. People of love, compassion, peace, forgiveness, and hope. People who try to do the right thing all of the time. Who act on the endless opportunities around us every day for good, beauty, and truth. It’s easy for us to sometimes get down on ourselves. To feel “not good enough” or feel like we don’t have what it takes. But maybe if we had more insight into the culture that Jesus grew up in and some of the radical things he did, we’d understand the faith that God has in all of us.
I want to be the kind of person who does the right thing. And I don't just mean the big things where right and wrong are obvious and easy, but I mean the small things. The subtle, unnoticed things.
A disciple doesn't just want to know what the rabbi knows. A disciple wants to be like the rabbi and wants to learn to do what the rabbi does.
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.
But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."
"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."
"Come," he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"
Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"
Matthew 14:25-31
So different rabbis had different sets of interpretations about how they lived out, and understood, and interpreted the Scriptures.
If they're fishermen and Jesus calls them to be His disciples, then they're not following another rabbi; and if they're not following another rabbi they're not the best of the best. They didn't make the cut.
Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, so that no one may boast before him.
1 Corinthians 1:26-29
It's like a movement of anybodies and He calls them - the JV, the B team, the "not-good-enoughs". He calls them to be his disciples and they change the course of human history.
Now, I always assumed the Peter doubts Jesus. But Jesus isn't sinking! Who does Peter doubt? He doubts himself. He loses faith in himself that he can actually be like his rabbi.
I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven."
Matthew 16:19
Faith in Jesus is important, but what about Jesus' faith in us? I mean He must have faith in us because He leaves it all in the hands of these disciples.
Jesus has faith that you can follow Him and that you can be like Him.
May you believe in God. But may you come to see that God believes in you. May you have faith in Jesus. May you come to see that Jesus has faith that you can be like Him. A person of love and compassion and truth. A person of forgiveness, and peace, and grace, and joy, and hope. And may you be covered in the dust of your rabbi, Jesus.
Maybe that'll help you in how you're feeling.
I hear that when people take the PLACE assesment, they sometimes find out they may be wired for things that they never would have tried or thought of on their own. That's fascinating - that a simple test could tell us things about ourselves that we're too blind to see.
And then imagine how much better God knows us than a simple test...
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