Tuesday, November 28, 2006


Yesterday was the second round and of testing for Ian and let me say....."HE DOES NOT LIKE IT!" Wow! He was so angry when it was time to leave. They didn't get as much accomplished as they would have liked to, so we go back 2 more days next week. Not only frustrating for him, but us as well.

I needed something to hold onto so this is what they told me.

We know he definitely has Autism...just not sure what degree yet. The more we can get done during the testing...the more we will know.

He has a verbal learning disorder...which is totally opposite of what they were expecting. Most children with the symptoms he has, have a non-verbal learning disorder. However, he's never managed to fall into any certain category like everyone else. He's always the unique one. Go figure!

His IQ is very high. He is very smart, however, his brain doesn't allow him to do the normal everyday functions that other children can do on their own.

They've reassured me that Ian will be able to make it in a normal school with the appropriate classes. Of course we are talking special ed classes so we need to make sure by next year, we find a school that has a really good program. The options for Town & Country or Riverfield are still open, however, I may need to donate a lung or kidney or something to afford the tuition.

But here was the kicker.....

There is no cure
There is no medicine to help his condition
He will not outgrow it
It could get worse with age

So even when we get a firm diagnosis, we will be in no better shape than we were when we started this process. Other than we will finally know what is wrong, and we will have to learn to manage our lives around him and find ways to help him better deal with his disorders.

I don't want to sound discouraged. The Lord says do not be discouraged. I'm not. Does frustration fall into that same category??? ;o)

God wants the best for us. We are His children and we are unique and special in our own ways. We are like that because He designed us that way. When I get frustrated with my kids, I wonder how many times our Father has been frustrated with me?
I want to do what is right for Ian and give him the best care and love a mother ever could. Lately, I'm not really good at it. I want him to feel as special as my God makes me feel. I want Him to share in that same glory. He may never be normal...but then again...who really is?

1 comment:

Jeanne said...

Brenda, you are exactly who you need to be as a mother and a believer. Sometimes being the mother of a child who struggles feels far from being an honor, but God chooses mothers carefully. After all, what would the world have seen in Mary to make her worthy of being the mother of Jesus? God sees our potential to love, nuture, and protect. We don't come programed that way. We learn it with on the job training! Don't doubt yourself - you are exactly who Ian needs in his life. While the diagnosis isn't yet leading you to a solution, with knowledge comes understanding, and with understanding comes power to face whatever lies ahead. God is already there, just hold on tight to His hand, He won't let you fall!