Overall, this really has been a great week.
I faced the two most difficult exams of this semester with very little amount of time for lecture and studying and couldn't believe how well I did. Yes, I did stress, but only because I wanted to do so well. Doing WELL for these test means just passing! But I did FAR beyond that. It gives me the confidence and motivation I need to keep going for the 3 Finals I am facing next week.
Other than school, I haven't been able to get a lot of other things accomplished lately. It's okay. They'll wait.
I'm learning that it's okay to say no to the things I love the most. Oh my, it is difficult. But even when you love to do something so much, there are times that you just have to stop and take care of yourself and do something different. Life is so short and we need to enjoy every moment we can. Many times I feel selfish when I want to do something fun for me. But not this week. I'm trying things differently and seeing a different perspective. Hopefully, it will make a difference in other places as well.
I haven't felt well this week. Probably the strain of school. Either way, it has called for a doctors visit today. It's so amazing to me that when we can't tell ourselves something is wrong, our bodies will do it for us. For 3 weeks, I've been ignoring what it is trying to say, and this week, it told me no more. In the future, I think it may be a good idea to be a better LISTENER when it's trying to tell you something. :o) (silly nurses.....they are the worst patients! Sheesh)
I'm excited to see what God has in store for me next week. He bet he spends lots of time smiling when we have some great "AH HA!!!" moments in life.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
I love food!
Well, there's a statement I wouldn't have said a year ago. I sit here and eat a piece of ice cream pie and love it. I haven't lost any weight since January and feel 100% healthy. Mind, Body, & Soul.
I would love to lose a little more for the "swimsuit season" but it's okay if I don't. I'll be content where I am. Losing is easy if done the wrong way. It is a challenge to do it the healthy way.
Choosing wise choices in life are some of the best rewards ever! Not with just food and exercise, but in everything we do. Doing things the wrong way, makes life difficult. Embracing life's challanges, makes it all more rewarding!
I choose the challanges!!!
I LOVE MY LIFE! ;o)
I would love to lose a little more for the "swimsuit season" but it's okay if I don't. I'll be content where I am. Losing is easy if done the wrong way. It is a challenge to do it the healthy way.
Choosing wise choices in life are some of the best rewards ever! Not with just food and exercise, but in everything we do. Doing things the wrong way, makes life difficult. Embracing life's challanges, makes it all more rewarding!
I choose the challanges!!!
I LOVE MY LIFE! ;o)
Monday, April 20, 2009
Wrapping it up....
This semester is wrapping up for me. What does that mean? Test, Test and more test. I can't believe the amount of test I have and the material they have yet to cover in the next couple of weeks. It's mind blowing. I have a test tomorrow, and Wednesday. Then two test on the same day next Wednesday, and honestly wonder when it will end. Well, I know the actual date, but the amount of information I must memorize and retain between now and then is overwhelming.
Matthew 6:33-34 says: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It's a verse we hear all the time but sometimes forget to do first. I get so bogged down with the day to day duties of life, kids, work, school, marriage, that I tend to forget to seek what I've been directed to.
I'm only human. I know I'm not the only one who forgets. Especially in times like right now. I'm overwhelmed. But I don't want to feel overwhelmed. I want to know that I have no worries. There are no worries except for those that I create. If I haven't studied enough, then that's my fault. I know what I need to get the job done, I just have to lay everything down.
I'm at that point in the semester when I hear myself and my body saying "I can't do it all". But there is always a time in every semester that you can find me saying that. :o) I don't have much longer to go. I am less than 3 weeks away from finishing another semester. It won't be my last. And I can guarantee you now, it will NOT be my hardest. I am the strongest person I know because I believe in what the power of God can do in my life. Not sure I could have made it this far without him.
Only 19 more days until it's over. I'm now counting.
Matthew 6:33-34 says: But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
It's a verse we hear all the time but sometimes forget to do first. I get so bogged down with the day to day duties of life, kids, work, school, marriage, that I tend to forget to seek what I've been directed to.
I'm only human. I know I'm not the only one who forgets. Especially in times like right now. I'm overwhelmed. But I don't want to feel overwhelmed. I want to know that I have no worries. There are no worries except for those that I create. If I haven't studied enough, then that's my fault. I know what I need to get the job done, I just have to lay everything down.
I'm at that point in the semester when I hear myself and my body saying "I can't do it all". But there is always a time in every semester that you can find me saying that. :o) I don't have much longer to go. I am less than 3 weeks away from finishing another semester. It won't be my last. And I can guarantee you now, it will NOT be my hardest. I am the strongest person I know because I believe in what the power of God can do in my life. Not sure I could have made it this far without him.
Only 19 more days until it's over. I'm now counting.
Saturday, April 11, 2009
Easter Symbols.....what do they mean to you?
Every year we incubate eggs and the week of easter, we have chickens! Our fist chick is due to hatch tomorrow, ON EASTER! It's nice that we can plan it that way. I like how the hatching of the eggs symbolizes new life. We teach that the egg also is a symbol of the tomb, which Christ emerged when he arose again. The chick, hatching out of the egg, symbolizes new life or re-birth. One should hatch tomorrow. The rest should hatch on Tuesday. Our Children's minister....will be very happy.
One thing about this time of year are the Easter Lillies. They symbolize the purity of Jesus. They bloom in the spring and also symbolize new life and the resurrection of Christ. I love this because Chad and I got married a week before Easter 15 years ago and our flowes were white Easter lillies. I loved their meaning and how we can apply that to our lives.
There are a TON of symbols for Easter. Even more obvious ones than I have mentioned. (The Cross, Eggs, Bunnies, Candy, etc.) What do they mean to you?
One thing about this time of year are the Easter Lillies. They symbolize the purity of Jesus. They bloom in the spring and also symbolize new life and the resurrection of Christ. I love this because Chad and I got married a week before Easter 15 years ago and our flowes were white Easter lillies. I loved their meaning and how we can apply that to our lives.
There are a TON of symbols for Easter. Even more obvious ones than I have mentioned. (The Cross, Eggs, Bunnies, Candy, etc.) What do they mean to you?
Monday, April 06, 2009
James 3:1-18 (Message)
Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
My friends, this can't go on. A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?
Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom?
Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly.
It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.
Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.
It is gentle and reasonable,
overflowing with mercy and blessings,
not hot one day and cold the next,
not two-faced.
You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
Don't be in any rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is highly responsible work. Teachers are held to the strictest standards. And none of us is perfectly qualified. We get it wrong nearly every time we open our mouths. If you could find someone whose speech was perfectly true, you'd have a perfect person, in perfect control of life.
A bit in the mouth of a horse controls the whole horse. A small rudder on a huge ship in the hands of a skilled captain sets a course in the face of the strongest winds. A word out of your mouth may seem of no account, but it can accomplish nearly anything—or destroy it!
It only takes a spark, remember, to set off a forest fire. A careless or wrongly placed word out of your mouth can do that. By our speech we can ruin the world, turn harmony to chaos, throw mud on a reputation, send the whole world up in smoke and go up in smoke with it, smoke right from the pit of hell.
This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can't tame a tongue—it's never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
My friends, this can't go on. A spring doesn't gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don't bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don't bear apples, do they? You're not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?
Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom?
Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly.
It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts. Mean-spirited ambition isn't wisdom. Boasting that you are wise isn't wisdom. Twisting the truth to make yourselves sound wise isn't wisdom. It's the furthest thing from wisdom—it's animal cunning, devilish conniving. Whenever you're trying to look better than others or get the better of others, things fall apart and everyone ends up at the others' throats.
Real wisdom, God's wisdom, begins with a holy life and is characterized by getting along with others.
It is gentle and reasonable,
overflowing with mercy and blessings,
not hot one day and cold the next,
not two-faced.
You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honor.
Saturday, April 04, 2009
Happier times!
Just an update real quick.
Things are going better. My dad is home from the hospital. He's sportin the pirate eye patch for all the grandkids. They love it, and he loves going around acting like a pirate and making pirate noises. Gotta love my family.
I'm getting older. So that means, I'm going to see the aging factor start appearing in my family and especially with my parents. Emotionally that is really difficult to see. Especially when both of them have pains on the same day and you don't know what direction to turn.
For me, I will try my best to enjoy now. That has been my goal and I want to make sure it happens.
Thank you for your prayers.
Things are going better. My dad is home from the hospital. He's sportin the pirate eye patch for all the grandkids. They love it, and he loves going around acting like a pirate and making pirate noises. Gotta love my family.
I'm getting older. So that means, I'm going to see the aging factor start appearing in my family and especially with my parents. Emotionally that is really difficult to see. Especially when both of them have pains on the same day and you don't know what direction to turn.
For me, I will try my best to enjoy now. That has been my goal and I want to make sure it happens.
Thank you for your prayers.
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
No April Fools Joke!
Wow! Can I start over?
So many things happened today that just leaves me sitting here wondering "Can I wake up and you tell me it's all a joke?"
But you can't. It's so hard at times when life hits us when we are on a good run. Life caught up with me today and I wasn't prepared. But the good news is, God is! I've shed a lot of tears today. Still while I'm typing. But again, it's okay. It's in these tears that causes me to make decisions that I've been avoiding. So in a way, it's all a bit refreshing.
I love my life. I love all I get to do in it. I feel like one of the most blessed people I know. I'm very fortunate to be me. Hardships just come with the territory. I love every time I screw up! It gives me a chance to start over again.
Things could be worse:
My dad is sick......but he's still with us.
My mom has some pain...but it's treatable.
My school is hard..........but I will graduate.
My kids....are kids...........but at least I have them.
My friend has heartache..........but God will heal it.
My life seems overwhelming.........but I'm not alone.
My house hasn't sold...................but at least I have one.
My new job is getting ready to start.....again....at least I have one.
My finances are tight......................but I'm not broke.
I'm am always so tired........................but at least I woke up.
There are so many things I could list. You just have to look at the brighter side. Sure, I'll cry! I'm a girl! It's what we do! But I choose NOT to have a pity party.
So many times in life we become melancholy and choose to respond the wrong way. 2008was a year filled with a self pity party that I worked hard to get out of so I choose not to ever, EVER, let that happen to me again. Even with my bad day today. I'm going to screw up! I'm going to make the wrong choices! I'm going to sin! I'm going to fail! I'm going, I'm going, I'm going......to try my best to be the child that God created me to be and live a life according to His plan....and not my own.
In 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 says "Godly sadness causes us to turn away from our sins and be saved. And we are certainly not sorry about that! But worldly sadness brings death.
Look at what that godly sadness has produced in you. You are working hard to clear yourselves. You are angry and alarmed. You are longing to see me. You are concerned. You are ready to make sure that the right thing is done. In every way you have proved that you are not guilty in that matter."
I love the Bible. It makes you think about so much. And when you're down, it has just the right thing to pick you up. Is there really a need for any other book?
Not sure there is!
So many things happened today that just leaves me sitting here wondering "Can I wake up and you tell me it's all a joke?"
But you can't. It's so hard at times when life hits us when we are on a good run. Life caught up with me today and I wasn't prepared. But the good news is, God is! I've shed a lot of tears today. Still while I'm typing. But again, it's okay. It's in these tears that causes me to make decisions that I've been avoiding. So in a way, it's all a bit refreshing.
I love my life. I love all I get to do in it. I feel like one of the most blessed people I know. I'm very fortunate to be me. Hardships just come with the territory. I love every time I screw up! It gives me a chance to start over again.
Things could be worse:
My dad is sick......but he's still with us.
My mom has some pain...but it's treatable.
My school is hard..........but I will graduate.
My kids....are kids...........but at least I have them.
My friend has heartache..........but God will heal it.
My life seems overwhelming.........but I'm not alone.
My house hasn't sold...................but at least I have one.
My new job is getting ready to start.....again....at least I have one.
My finances are tight......................but I'm not broke.
I'm am always so tired........................but at least I woke up.
There are so many things I could list. You just have to look at the brighter side. Sure, I'll cry! I'm a girl! It's what we do! But I choose NOT to have a pity party.
So many times in life we become melancholy and choose to respond the wrong way. 2008was a year filled with a self pity party that I worked hard to get out of so I choose not to ever, EVER, let that happen to me again. Even with my bad day today. I'm going to screw up! I'm going to make the wrong choices! I'm going to sin! I'm going to fail! I'm going, I'm going, I'm going......to try my best to be the child that God created me to be and live a life according to His plan....and not my own.
In 2 Corinthians 7:10-11 says "Godly sadness causes us to turn away from our sins and be saved. And we are certainly not sorry about that! But worldly sadness brings death.
Look at what that godly sadness has produced in you. You are working hard to clear yourselves. You are angry and alarmed. You are longing to see me. You are concerned. You are ready to make sure that the right thing is done. In every way you have proved that you are not guilty in that matter."
I love the Bible. It makes you think about so much. And when you're down, it has just the right thing to pick you up. Is there really a need for any other book?
Not sure there is!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
It takes a Village!
Yes, it does take a village, or community, or church, or for crying out loud....takes a lot of work! ;o)
There is just something about children's singing that I love. Wednesday night was a real treat as the KPC's sang. It was hard to hold back the tears while listening to their voices praise and watching the faces in the congregation smile back at them.
There maybe 1 of them that is terrified to be up there. But when all 20 of them together, they become an army for the Lord.
God smiles on them. He puts so much joy in their hearts. Each of them are very unique in their own way. I love that!
They may not always hit the right note....and it's okay. They are kids. More importantly, I want them to praise God with their whole heart and enjoy the experience of worship together. I hope for them, the experience makes coming to church even brighter. Selfishly, it does for me. I can't wait to get in the doors to see them each week.
Workshop Wednesday "Celebrate" & "A New Hallelujah"
One of our more serious moments & Eli singing solo.
Don't believe them! I do not yell at them! I just talk and sing louder! ;o)
Stephen singing his lungs out! Way to go!
This is one of those moments of everyone doing something different!
Where's Alice?
It's all about technique I tell ya!
Ah! A beautiful duet together!
Night #1....stand in a line!
See, we do have fun! ;o)
There is just something about children's singing that I love. Wednesday night was a real treat as the KPC's sang. It was hard to hold back the tears while listening to their voices praise and watching the faces in the congregation smile back at them.
There maybe 1 of them that is terrified to be up there. But when all 20 of them together, they become an army for the Lord.
God smiles on them. He puts so much joy in their hearts. Each of them are very unique in their own way. I love that!
They may not always hit the right note....and it's okay. They are kids. More importantly, I want them to praise God with their whole heart and enjoy the experience of worship together. I hope for them, the experience makes coming to church even brighter. Selfishly, it does for me. I can't wait to get in the doors to see them each week.
Workshop Wednesday "Celebrate" & "A New Hallelujah"
One of our more serious moments & Eli singing solo.
Don't believe them! I do not yell at them! I just talk and sing louder! ;o)
Stephen singing his lungs out! Way to go!
This is one of those moments of everyone doing something different!
Where's Alice?
It's all about technique I tell ya!
Ah! A beautiful duet together!
Night #1....stand in a line!
See, we do have fun! ;o)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Wrapped up and give it a big bow!
Today we wrapped up the workshop with an amazing gathering at Memorial. Shane and the team knocked themselves out with some amazing moments of worship! The voices lifted to God this morning were loud enough to wake up all the angels in Heaven and I'm sure that is just what they did.
I loved the workshop this year and think it was one of the best! I loved the changes. I loved the classes. I love the praise. I loved it all! Could have done without the snow.....but....it allowed some great God opportunities.
I always feel a bit odd going to a class by Terry Rush at the workshop. It's one of those things where I think "I can hear Terry anytime...so I should try someone else" but I couldn't bring myself to do that this year, and I'm so glad! I loved his Saturday class which left me "hungry" for more. I'm so fortunate that I get to hear and see him and hug his neck every week! His words and his love blesses me far beyond anything I can even imagine. I love that he loves me with all of my flaws.
Patrick Mead was amazing. I've heard him speak before, but God blessed him with an extra boost of something this year that was out of this world. I hope, pray, and look forward to seeing him next year at the workshop. He has an amazing gift.
I enjoyed Steve Jackson on Saturday night as the keynote and I'm so sad that many people had to leave town due to the snow. This man brought a testimony about coming out of his muslim faith that was out of this world. I loved one point he went over about how we as the church accept people as who they are, where they are. We allow people to continue to serve, even after they've made mistakes. We're all sinners, and we all screw up from time to time. I remember a couple of times that I felt unworthy of being in any ministry at church because of mistakes I had made. But because we are such a great body of believers and we serve such an awesome God, not ONCE was I ever asked to leave, or quit, or take a break, or anything for that matter. My church family loved me right through my pain, and I'm sure in life, I will have more of it and they will continue to do so. It's because of the God we serve and their desire to be so much like Him that they truly know how to help others start life over. I've felt accepted, even when I couldn't accept myself. That's not just our human nature....but it's God working in us and us allowing Him to be a part of our lives. It's our desire to be christ-like. I love how we have a church that knows how to do that. Even in their own weakness.
The worship classes were a new treat this year. I love to sing, but what I really love is to see how God works in the ways of worship. I love the different styles of worship, and love to see how that is incorporated into illistrations of worship that I had never even thought of. I use to think I gave it all. Little did I know, I hadn't even scratched the surface.
I bought a new book this year and it took me 3 days to figure out which one I wanted. I don't have a lot of time to read anything other than text book, but I found an amazing devotional book that I can't wait to dig into. I loved that it came with a music CD directed to every chapter with original songs written just for this book. I'm sure you'll be hearing more about it on here. It is called "The final demise to the Cinderalla Syndrome". Can't wait.
Workshop was overall just an amazing experience for me this year. Very different in that we didn't have a whole host of people in our house, all of our friends couldn't make it this year, and well, that part was a little sad. Tony & Tisha made a quick trip, but I hated to see them go so quickly. But I was very honored to make some new friends this year. Espeically on the Shuttle! You couldn't help but get to know people who shared in the travel to and from each building in the snow. My feet may have been wet and cold, but my heart was warmed everytime I climed aboard. I could have walked, but what a treat to catch a ride and meet some amazing people. Snow or no snow, I hope that is something that is back next year.
I liked all the changes. I liked the new building. I liked so much about this year. I like that every year I see more and more new people show up that have never even been. I liked the material changes and things you see on the surface. But most of all I LOVED how God showed up this week and gave us new thoughts, new perspectives, and a new outlook on so many things that we could never have planned with our own human talents. God is amazing when I walk around and see him in the eyes and hearts of every person there.
Let's just say, it was an amazing year.
I loved the workshop this year and think it was one of the best! I loved the changes. I loved the classes. I love the praise. I loved it all! Could have done without the snow.....but....it allowed some great God opportunities.
I always feel a bit odd going to a class by Terry Rush at the workshop. It's one of those things where I think "I can hear Terry anytime...so I should try someone else" but I couldn't bring myself to do that this year, and I'm so glad! I loved his Saturday class which left me "hungry" for more. I'm so fortunate that I get to hear and see him and hug his neck every week! His words and his love blesses me far beyond anything I can even imagine. I love that he loves me with all of my flaws.
Patrick Mead was amazing. I've heard him speak before, but God blessed him with an extra boost of something this year that was out of this world. I hope, pray, and look forward to seeing him next year at the workshop. He has an amazing gift.
I enjoyed Steve Jackson on Saturday night as the keynote and I'm so sad that many people had to leave town due to the snow. This man brought a testimony about coming out of his muslim faith that was out of this world. I loved one point he went over about how we as the church accept people as who they are, where they are. We allow people to continue to serve, even after they've made mistakes. We're all sinners, and we all screw up from time to time. I remember a couple of times that I felt unworthy of being in any ministry at church because of mistakes I had made. But because we are such a great body of believers and we serve such an awesome God, not ONCE was I ever asked to leave, or quit, or take a break, or anything for that matter. My church family loved me right through my pain, and I'm sure in life, I will have more of it and they will continue to do so. It's because of the God we serve and their desire to be so much like Him that they truly know how to help others start life over. I've felt accepted, even when I couldn't accept myself. That's not just our human nature....but it's God working in us and us allowing Him to be a part of our lives. It's our desire to be christ-like. I love how we have a church that knows how to do that. Even in their own weakness.
The worship classes were a new treat this year. I love to sing, but what I really love is to see how God works in the ways of worship. I love the different styles of worship, and love to see how that is incorporated into illistrations of worship that I had never even thought of. I use to think I gave it all. Little did I know, I hadn't even scratched the surface.
I bought a new book this year and it took me 3 days to figure out which one I wanted. I don't have a lot of time to read anything other than text book, but I found an amazing devotional book that I can't wait to dig into. I loved that it came with a music CD directed to every chapter with original songs written just for this book. I'm sure you'll be hearing more about it on here. It is called "The final demise to the Cinderalla Syndrome". Can't wait.
Workshop was overall just an amazing experience for me this year. Very different in that we didn't have a whole host of people in our house, all of our friends couldn't make it this year, and well, that part was a little sad. Tony & Tisha made a quick trip, but I hated to see them go so quickly. But I was very honored to make some new friends this year. Espeically on the Shuttle! You couldn't help but get to know people who shared in the travel to and from each building in the snow. My feet may have been wet and cold, but my heart was warmed everytime I climed aboard. I could have walked, but what a treat to catch a ride and meet some amazing people. Snow or no snow, I hope that is something that is back next year.
I liked all the changes. I liked the new building. I liked so much about this year. I like that every year I see more and more new people show up that have never even been. I liked the material changes and things you see on the surface. But most of all I LOVED how God showed up this week and gave us new thoughts, new perspectives, and a new outlook on so many things that we could never have planned with our own human talents. God is amazing when I walk around and see him in the eyes and hearts of every person there.
Let's just say, it was an amazing year.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
Saying it all....
I wrote a blog earlier, but struggled to post it.
Not feeling it's what God was trying to tell me.
I put it away, and came back later.
He led me to this; and it's exactly what I've been thinking and feeling all night.
God is so good.
Psalm 139 NIRV
Lord, you have seen what is in my heart.
You know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know what I'm thinking even though you are far away.
You know when I go out to work and when I come back home.
You know exactly how I live.
Lord, even before I speak a word,
you know all about it.
You are all around me. You are behind me and in front of me.
You hold me in your power.
I'm amazed at how well you know me.
It's more than I can understand.
How can I get away from your Spirit?
Where can I go to escape from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the deepest parts of the earth, you are also there.
Suppose I were to rise with the sun in the east
and then cross over to the west where it sinks into the ocean.
Your hand would always be there to guide me.
Your right hand would still be holding me close.
Suppose I were to say, "I'm sure the darkness will hide me.
The light around me will become as dark as night."
Even that darkness would not be dark to you.
The night would shine like the day,
because darkness is like light to you.
You created the deepest parts of my being.
You put me together inside my mother's body.
How you made me is amazing and wonderful.
I praise you for that.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know that very well.
None of my bones was hidden from you
when you made me inside my mother's body.
That place was as dark as the deepest parts of the earth.
When you were putting me together there,
your eyes saw my body even before it was formed.
You planned how many days I would live.
You wrote down the number of them in your book
before I had lived through even one of them.
God, your thoughts about me are priceless.
No one can possibly add them all up.
If I could count them,
they would be more than the grains of sand.
If I were to fall asleep counting and then wake up,
you would still be there with me.
God, I wish you would kill the people who are evil!
I wish those murderers would get away from me!
They are your enemies. They misuse your name.
They misuse it for their own evil purposes.
Lord, I really hate those who hate you!
I really hate those who rise up against you!
I have nothing but hatred for them.
I consider them to be my enemies.
God, see what is in my heart.
Know what is there.
Put me to the test.
Know what I'm thinking.
See if there's anything in my life you don't like.
Help me live in the way that is always right.
Not feeling it's what God was trying to tell me.
I put it away, and came back later.
He led me to this; and it's exactly what I've been thinking and feeling all night.
God is so good.
Psalm 139 NIRV
Lord, you have seen what is in my heart.
You know all about me.
You know when I sit down and when I get up.
You know what I'm thinking even though you are far away.
You know when I go out to work and when I come back home.
You know exactly how I live.
Lord, even before I speak a word,
you know all about it.
You are all around me. You are behind me and in front of me.
You hold me in your power.
I'm amazed at how well you know me.
It's more than I can understand.
How can I get away from your Spirit?
Where can I go to escape from you?
If I go up to the heavens, you are there.
If I lie down in the deepest parts of the earth, you are also there.
Suppose I were to rise with the sun in the east
and then cross over to the west where it sinks into the ocean.
Your hand would always be there to guide me.
Your right hand would still be holding me close.
Suppose I were to say, "I'm sure the darkness will hide me.
The light around me will become as dark as night."
Even that darkness would not be dark to you.
The night would shine like the day,
because darkness is like light to you.
You created the deepest parts of my being.
You put me together inside my mother's body.
How you made me is amazing and wonderful.
I praise you for that.
What you have done is wonderful.
I know that very well.
None of my bones was hidden from you
when you made me inside my mother's body.
That place was as dark as the deepest parts of the earth.
When you were putting me together there,
your eyes saw my body even before it was formed.
You planned how many days I would live.
You wrote down the number of them in your book
before I had lived through even one of them.
God, your thoughts about me are priceless.
No one can possibly add them all up.
If I could count them,
they would be more than the grains of sand.
If I were to fall asleep counting and then wake up,
you would still be there with me.
God, I wish you would kill the people who are evil!
I wish those murderers would get away from me!
They are your enemies. They misuse your name.
They misuse it for their own evil purposes.
Lord, I really hate those who hate you!
I really hate those who rise up against you!
I have nothing but hatred for them.
I consider them to be my enemies.
God, see what is in my heart.
Know what is there.
Put me to the test.
Know what I'm thinking.
See if there's anything in my life you don't like.
Help me live in the way that is always right.
Monday, March 16, 2009
Tears, Tears, Tears, and then WHAT????? Ha!!!!
Wow! What a day I have had today.
I got to sleep in for a bit and was so excited!
I got up, ate a little breakfast, and intended to study.
Then....Emilie woke up. That was shot.
Talk to my Dr. this morning.....the one who performed my surgery last year only to find out some symptoms I am having may be a result of that and he wants to see me ......TOMORROW. Um....Tears...here they come.
So I went in to take a nice long relaxing bath this morning. Took a nice big stretch, and pulled a muscle in my chest that brought me to tears. Yeah...it only gets better from here.
After I decided to just leave the hair in a wet mess of a ponytail today, I continued with my day of giving some music lessons to a couple of KPC kids. THAT WENT GREAT! YAY! Thank you to the mothers who didn't say ANYTHING about my appearance today.
Now the house is quiet, the kids are out playing....I'm going to study.
5 minutes later, a knock at the door. A realtor wanting to show the house....RIGHT NOW. Um....NO...I said in the sweetest voice I could while my neck was bent slighty to the right due to the pulled muscle in my chest and I look like death hung over because I have no makeup on. Told her to come back in 45 minutes. I call Chad which then turns into a .....well....let's say disagreement.....which leads me to tears!
Now, I'm trying to move quickly, holding my head in a certain position, frustrated thinking they are just going to say no anyway, frantically trying to sweep the floors....open the diswasher....and it's WHAT??? BACKED UP???? Open the cabinet door and the pipes are WHAT????? LEAKING???? This after the garbage disposal broke yesterday and well, that's enough of the kitchen. I put the dirty ones in there and just close the door and continue to just CRY!
The kids and I go for a drive...to return home to a very disturbing phone call from the showing realtor telling me we are asking too much for the house. I asked if I lowered the price would the couple consider it??? She said no it wouldn't work for them. I burst into tears. This house stuff is really killing me lately!
So then.....then kids wanted to go to the park....and I thought YES!!! We can go to the park, I can sit and study, and they can play! PERFECT! I needed to get away from here anyway.
NEXT............NEXT!!!!!!! Here comes Ian and Emilie running toward me telling me that a man is calling the fire department because Lukus is stuck in a tree and can't get down. WHAT???? Oh my goodness. Lord...please just take me now!
Sure enough...he's about 20-25 feet in the air, the firetruck comes with sirens blazing ladders flying and about 100 people watching....AND VIDEO TAPING this marvelous event taking place......WITH MY KID!!!!! Yes, beautiful day, spring break = lots of people at the park!!! GGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!
He gets down and well, we are home. We are not going anywhere else today. I am staying put. You couldn't PAY ME to get out of this house!!!! Unless you want to buy it of course!
God truly had a sense of humor when he gave me kids. I don't know weather to laugh or cry anymore. But thankfully, I have some friends coming over tonight to cheer me up! Just what I needed!
I got to sleep in for a bit and was so excited!
I got up, ate a little breakfast, and intended to study.
Then....Emilie woke up. That was shot.
Talk to my Dr. this morning.....the one who performed my surgery last year only to find out some symptoms I am having may be a result of that and he wants to see me ......TOMORROW. Um....Tears...here they come.
So I went in to take a nice long relaxing bath this morning. Took a nice big stretch, and pulled a muscle in my chest that brought me to tears. Yeah...it only gets better from here.
After I decided to just leave the hair in a wet mess of a ponytail today, I continued with my day of giving some music lessons to a couple of KPC kids. THAT WENT GREAT! YAY! Thank you to the mothers who didn't say ANYTHING about my appearance today.
Now the house is quiet, the kids are out playing....I'm going to study.
5 minutes later, a knock at the door. A realtor wanting to show the house....RIGHT NOW. Um....NO...I said in the sweetest voice I could while my neck was bent slighty to the right due to the pulled muscle in my chest and I look like death hung over because I have no makeup on. Told her to come back in 45 minutes. I call Chad which then turns into a .....well....let's say disagreement.....which leads me to tears!
Now, I'm trying to move quickly, holding my head in a certain position, frustrated thinking they are just going to say no anyway, frantically trying to sweep the floors....open the diswasher....and it's WHAT??? BACKED UP???? Open the cabinet door and the pipes are WHAT????? LEAKING???? This after the garbage disposal broke yesterday and well, that's enough of the kitchen. I put the dirty ones in there and just close the door and continue to just CRY!
The kids and I go for a drive...to return home to a very disturbing phone call from the showing realtor telling me we are asking too much for the house. I asked if I lowered the price would the couple consider it??? She said no it wouldn't work for them. I burst into tears. This house stuff is really killing me lately!
So then.....then kids wanted to go to the park....and I thought YES!!! We can go to the park, I can sit and study, and they can play! PERFECT! I needed to get away from here anyway.
NEXT............NEXT!!!!!!! Here comes Ian and Emilie running toward me telling me that a man is calling the fire department because Lukus is stuck in a tree and can't get down. WHAT???? Oh my goodness. Lord...please just take me now!
Sure enough...he's about 20-25 feet in the air, the firetruck comes with sirens blazing ladders flying and about 100 people watching....AND VIDEO TAPING this marvelous event taking place......WITH MY KID!!!!! Yes, beautiful day, spring break = lots of people at the park!!! GGGGGRRRRRRRR!!!!
He gets down and well, we are home. We are not going anywhere else today. I am staying put. You couldn't PAY ME to get out of this house!!!! Unless you want to buy it of course!
God truly had a sense of humor when he gave me kids. I don't know weather to laugh or cry anymore. But thankfully, I have some friends coming over tonight to cheer me up! Just what I needed!
Friday, March 13, 2009
Do you know how to juggle?
I love ministry! It's just something that I feel I can do and gives me purpose and strength to keep going each day. I guess it's not really "ministry" that does that, but it's God in the ministry that does it all.
I believe you can serve in many areas whether in public or behind the scenes. Some ministries we serve in, nobody will ever know about. That's the cool thing about "serving". You don't do it to please others, you do it because your heart is in it to serve the best you can to glorify God. Some ministries we are great in. Some we are more support than leaders. And some we are still growing in. Whatever it is, we are all still servents of the Father. We are all connected and should support eachother in places where we are passionate about God. How can you have a ministry if you are all alone. God sends us each other, and the people to minister to.
Over the past few months, Satan has wanted to throw some fire at me and see what I would do with it.
Little did he know....I'm a juggler! I can put a GREAT spin on it. One that satan doesn't like. He throws it...and I spin it back into something that glorifies God. I just wish I would have figured out this concept about a year ago.
I seem to laugh and smile so much more. It makes me feel so good! Oh sure, there are hard days and difficult times and still times to cry in joy and in pain, but the things that Satan is trying to destroy in me is my passion for ministry. And not just one....but the passion I have in ALL the ministries that I serve in. And he's not just coming straight at me. He's using other beautiful christians to get to me. I'm really trying to figure out why he thinks it's okay to mess with me. With God on my side....I'm just not one to be messed with.
Um...Hello?? I'm God's Child! I have a shield that, when used properly, will protect me from evil. So watch me throw the bowling pins in the air and spin the chainsaws while running. It's not over til....I start singing! ;o)
Don't let him get to you. It's not worth your time. Satan will destory and I mean D E S T O R Y whatever he can get his hands on. He has done it over and over in my life and I refuse to let him take something so precious away from me. My God is much bigger than that.
I'll continue to juggle in ministry and be glorified in the things that delight the Lord. Anything else, just doesn't really matter.
So my question is....Can you juggle?
I believe you can serve in many areas whether in public or behind the scenes. Some ministries we serve in, nobody will ever know about. That's the cool thing about "serving". You don't do it to please others, you do it because your heart is in it to serve the best you can to glorify God. Some ministries we are great in. Some we are more support than leaders. And some we are still growing in. Whatever it is, we are all still servents of the Father. We are all connected and should support eachother in places where we are passionate about God. How can you have a ministry if you are all alone. God sends us each other, and the people to minister to.
Over the past few months, Satan has wanted to throw some fire at me and see what I would do with it.
Little did he know....I'm a juggler! I can put a GREAT spin on it. One that satan doesn't like. He throws it...and I spin it back into something that glorifies God. I just wish I would have figured out this concept about a year ago.
I seem to laugh and smile so much more. It makes me feel so good! Oh sure, there are hard days and difficult times and still times to cry in joy and in pain, but the things that Satan is trying to destroy in me is my passion for ministry. And not just one....but the passion I have in ALL the ministries that I serve in. And he's not just coming straight at me. He's using other beautiful christians to get to me. I'm really trying to figure out why he thinks it's okay to mess with me. With God on my side....I'm just not one to be messed with.
Um...Hello?? I'm God's Child! I have a shield that, when used properly, will protect me from evil. So watch me throw the bowling pins in the air and spin the chainsaws while running. It's not over til....I start singing! ;o)
Don't let him get to you. It's not worth your time. Satan will destory and I mean D E S T O R Y whatever he can get his hands on. He has done it over and over in my life and I refuse to let him take something so precious away from me. My God is much bigger than that.
I'll continue to juggle in ministry and be glorified in the things that delight the Lord. Anything else, just doesn't really matter.
So my question is....Can you juggle?
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
I've found my place.
What kind of theatre person are you?
Sounds kinda like a silly question huh? But it takes all kinds of people to put on a top notch theatre performance. I'm excited as we are getting ready to purchase our tickets to "Wicked" for this summer's performance. I can't wait!
But it got me thinking about how many people it takes to put on such a show. From the directors, actors, writers, musicians, stage hands, PAC workers, and janitors, and even the security that locks up at the end of the night. They all have an important role in making something successful. One is not good without the other.
Sure, one person could get out there and tell the story, but without each other, there just seems to be a void. We have to appreciate the fact that they all bring it to life to portray the message.
That's how it is in life with everything.
Friday I had an event where I was an active part in saving a man's life. I didn't come home and tell Chad. I didn't tell anyone. It was just one of those things that we do. But I was surprised when I got to school on Monday to be recognized by one of my teachers. I hadn't told anyone so how did they know? Several students were surprised I didn't say anything to them about it and kinda mad they didn't get to hear the cool story!
But there was nothing to brag about. Nothing to be praised for. I did not do this alone....I was part of a team. All I did was contribute a very small part.....which turned out to be huge when it was all over. Would it have been a success without my part in it? I will never know. But my role was still important.
I was a small part of saving this man's life and it worked. But really, God worked through us. We had nothing to do with it.
If God wanted him now, he would have taken Him and there is nothing I or we could have done. Sure we are trained this way, but only He knows the outcome. Very rarely do we win them all.
God teaches me so much with such BIG visuals! Apparently, I don't take hints very well! Tonight, I was completely brought to my knees again by His power to keep me humble. He is teaching me my place in the Kingdom. He is teaching me that I am completely nothing on my own. I am completely nothing without Him.
Tonight I was teaching Emilie the song "Beautiful Lamb of God" and in it the words say: "Like sheep we've gone astray, each turned to his own way, But Jesus will take our sins away"
My prayer has been for so long that God will convict me of my prideful attitude every time it shows up. And yet, He never lets me down. I love Him for that. He is faithful in all of His ways teaching me to serve Him better.
So who am I in the theatre....I'm the back stage girl. I am the one that likes to open and close the curtains and set up props. I am a support person. I want to produce things that make other people smile. I want to create the atmosphere. No name on a program. No name in lights. But a smile on each face that walks in is all I need.
I've found my place. I thank God for his mercy on me. He is making me to be such a better person everyday.
Sounds kinda like a silly question huh? But it takes all kinds of people to put on a top notch theatre performance. I'm excited as we are getting ready to purchase our tickets to "Wicked" for this summer's performance. I can't wait!
But it got me thinking about how many people it takes to put on such a show. From the directors, actors, writers, musicians, stage hands, PAC workers, and janitors, and even the security that locks up at the end of the night. They all have an important role in making something successful. One is not good without the other.
Sure, one person could get out there and tell the story, but without each other, there just seems to be a void. We have to appreciate the fact that they all bring it to life to portray the message.
That's how it is in life with everything.
Friday I had an event where I was an active part in saving a man's life. I didn't come home and tell Chad. I didn't tell anyone. It was just one of those things that we do. But I was surprised when I got to school on Monday to be recognized by one of my teachers. I hadn't told anyone so how did they know? Several students were surprised I didn't say anything to them about it and kinda mad they didn't get to hear the cool story!
But there was nothing to brag about. Nothing to be praised for. I did not do this alone....I was part of a team. All I did was contribute a very small part.....which turned out to be huge when it was all over. Would it have been a success without my part in it? I will never know. But my role was still important.
I was a small part of saving this man's life and it worked. But really, God worked through us. We had nothing to do with it.
If God wanted him now, he would have taken Him and there is nothing I or we could have done. Sure we are trained this way, but only He knows the outcome. Very rarely do we win them all.
God teaches me so much with such BIG visuals! Apparently, I don't take hints very well! Tonight, I was completely brought to my knees again by His power to keep me humble. He is teaching me my place in the Kingdom. He is teaching me that I am completely nothing on my own. I am completely nothing without Him.
Tonight I was teaching Emilie the song "Beautiful Lamb of God" and in it the words say: "Like sheep we've gone astray, each turned to his own way, But Jesus will take our sins away"
My prayer has been for so long that God will convict me of my prideful attitude every time it shows up. And yet, He never lets me down. I love Him for that. He is faithful in all of His ways teaching me to serve Him better.
So who am I in the theatre....I'm the back stage girl. I am the one that likes to open and close the curtains and set up props. I am a support person. I want to produce things that make other people smile. I want to create the atmosphere. No name on a program. No name in lights. But a smile on each face that walks in is all I need.
I've found my place. I thank God for his mercy on me. He is making me to be such a better person everyday.
Thursday, March 05, 2009
Why feel inadequate? We all are!
I get so frustrated with myself at church when I can't remember a verse, or a story, or something important in the Bible like others. I LOVE to be around people from AIM because they are a total wealth of biblical knowledge and I love it! I often wonder if I will ever be where they are. I'm there in my heart, but it hasn't all quite reached the communication portion of my brain yet!
God uses our inadequacies to help strengthen us in our weakest times. Often it is just as simple as giving us the right words to say to a friend. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to someone where I thought "I wish I had a scripture to reference". What I find happening in my life is that I don't always need to quote scripture. God is keeping me simple. He wants me to learn, but I don't have to feel bad because I can't come up with one off the top of my head. When I rely on Him, He will give me the exact words He wants me to say.
I love the story of Moses in Exodus 3. So many times, I feel like Moses when he was practically begging God to send someone else to talkt to Pharaoh. So many times, I feel that I am not adequately prepared to talk to others in communicating God's word effectively. But God didn't give up on Moses. It seems to me like the more Moses persisted to NOT do this task, the more God was eager to use Him. Seriously, how many signs does one have to get? God gave him three, told them what they were, how to use them, and then put the exact words into his mouth to say in order to convince the Israelites! God used that feeling of inadequacy in Moses to make Him stronger and a better leader in order to bring His people to the promised land.
We can't give up on ourselves just because we feel inadequate. We each are equally important in the kingdom of God. But we can't all be the same. Then only one type of message would get out. We have to be different. We have to be unique. We have to strong......and we have to be inadequate so that He can work in us to make us what He wants us to be.
God~ You are so powerful....and yes, at times, I feel inadequate to do the work you have put me here to do. But you've made me adequate in the areas of life that are the most important to you. You put me here for a specific purpose. You continue to help me grow each day into those other areas where I feel a bit "less than" adequate for the task. I thank you for those opportunities. I thank you for the hard times that I can learn from. Keep challenging me. Push me farther so that I can come to know you more, believe in you more, trust you more, and have the strength to do the things I'm not always so comfortable with. Send me to where you want me to be. Even if it's difficult, I trust you.
God uses our inadequacies to help strengthen us in our weakest times. Often it is just as simple as giving us the right words to say to a friend. I can't tell you how many times I've talked to someone where I thought "I wish I had a scripture to reference". What I find happening in my life is that I don't always need to quote scripture. God is keeping me simple. He wants me to learn, but I don't have to feel bad because I can't come up with one off the top of my head. When I rely on Him, He will give me the exact words He wants me to say.
I love the story of Moses in Exodus 3. So many times, I feel like Moses when he was practically begging God to send someone else to talkt to Pharaoh. So many times, I feel that I am not adequately prepared to talk to others in communicating God's word effectively. But God didn't give up on Moses. It seems to me like the more Moses persisted to NOT do this task, the more God was eager to use Him. Seriously, how many signs does one have to get? God gave him three, told them what they were, how to use them, and then put the exact words into his mouth to say in order to convince the Israelites! God used that feeling of inadequacy in Moses to make Him stronger and a better leader in order to bring His people to the promised land.
We can't give up on ourselves just because we feel inadequate. We each are equally important in the kingdom of God. But we can't all be the same. Then only one type of message would get out. We have to be different. We have to be unique. We have to strong......and we have to be inadequate so that He can work in us to make us what He wants us to be.
God~ You are so powerful....and yes, at times, I feel inadequate to do the work you have put me here to do. But you've made me adequate in the areas of life that are the most important to you. You put me here for a specific purpose. You continue to help me grow each day into those other areas where I feel a bit "less than" adequate for the task. I thank you for those opportunities. I thank you for the hard times that I can learn from. Keep challenging me. Push me farther so that I can come to know you more, believe in you more, trust you more, and have the strength to do the things I'm not always so comfortable with. Send me to where you want me to be. Even if it's difficult, I trust you.
Monday, February 23, 2009
Don't give up...but give it up!
There comes a time in life when we feel that we have hit rock bottom. I say this because I have been there. I have seen me at my lowest and it wasn't a beautiful sight at all.
The bottom feels different to everyone. I have the opportunity to talk with some individuals about what that pain feels like at the bottom. But what really intrigues me is one statement made by all. "There is no where to go but up"
When you think of up....what do you think of? Where do your eyes go? What do you see? What does "up" look like to you? Is it worse? Is it better? Or is it just another long journey that you are about to embark upon?
For me, looking up means looking to the Heaven's. Looking to God to lead the way. Sure, he is everywhere. I can look up, down, right, or left, and He is in every direction. But when you hit bottom, your natural reaction is to start working your way back to the top.
I find it interesting that when we are there, we find it easier to give up than let God take control. A lot of times, this is the point when we are crying out and begging Him to give us NO MORE! We question our strength and how much we can really handle and we don't put our total trust in Him. Trusting Him means taking a leap of faith and letting go of all that control we are use to having. Sometimes, it means you lose some of the dearest things you love the most. But when it's right, those things that are dear to you will come back into your life and into your heart more than you could ever imagine.
Daniel expressed some of his thoughts in the second chapter He said, "May God be praised for ever and ever! He is wise and powerful. He changes times and seasons. He sets up kings. He removes them from power. The wisdom of those who are wise comes from him. He gives knowledge to those who have understanding. He explains deep and hidden things. He knows what happens in the darkest places. And where he is, everything is light" 2:20-22 (NIRV)
I think we get mixed up in something. Just because our God is sovereign doesn't mean that our lives will be simple. We have to trust Him enough to let go of it all and trust Him with the earthly decision we have to make. Sometimes, those decisions aren't ours to make. They are His. We can open doors and windows, but God only needs a willing spirit to work in their hearts. They may not even know they are willing! But the hardest thing for us to do is to let go. Especially when it hurts so badly.
Over the past few months, I would cling to Psalm 25:
Lord, I worship you. My God, I trust in you.
Don't let me be put to shame. Don't let my enemies win the battle over me.
Those who put their hope in you will never be put to shame.
But those who can't be trusted will be put to shame. They have no excuse.
Lord, show me your ways. Teach me how to follow you.
Guide me in your truth. Teach me. You are God my Savior.
I put my hope in you all day long. Lord, remember your great mercy and love.
You have shown them to your people for a long time.
Don't remember the sins I committed when I was young.
Don't remember how often I refused to obey you.
Remember me because you love me. Lord, you are good.
The Lord is honest and good. He teaches sinners to walk in his ways.
He shows those who aren't proud how to do what is right.
He teaches them his ways. All of the Lord's ways are loving and faithful
for those who obey what his covenant commands.
Lord, be true to your name.Forgive my sin, even though it is great.
Who is the man who has respect for the Lord?
God will teach him the way he has chosen for him.
Things will always go well for him. His children will be given the land.
The Lord shares his plans with those who have respect for him.
He makes his covenant known to them. My eyes always look to the Lord.
He alone can set my feet free from the trap. Turn to me and show me your favor.
I am lonely and hurting. The troubles of my heart have increased.
Set me free from my great pain. Look at how I'm hurting! See how much I suffer!
Take away all of my sins. Look at how many enemies I have!
See how terrible their hatred is for me! Guard my life. Save me.
Don't let me be put to shame. I go to you for safety.
May my honest and good life keep me safe.
I have put my hope in you.
God, set Israel free from all of their troubles!
God has a way of reaching people and doing what needs to be done. We have good intentions, but sometimes, we wear ourselves out just trying to get it done for Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all your ways remember him. Then he will make your paths smooth and straight.
Psalm 18:30 God's way is perfect. The word of the Lord doesn't have any flaws. He is like a shield to all who go to him for safety.
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people.Tell him all of your troubles. God is our place of safety. Selah
1 Timothy 4:10 10 We work hard for it. Here is the saying. We have put our hope in the living God. He is the Savior of all people. Most of all he is the Savior of those who believe.
I pray for those tonight who have a hard time letting go. Those who fear losing so much that they are afriad to do what needs to be done. I pray that God gives them everything they need to conquer those fears and to let Him be in control of the hurt. Only He knows the outcome. He wrote the book. I pray they can find peace, comfort, and contentment in knowing they serve a mighty God who will never let them go. I pray they can realize just how far the east is from the west and that no matter what, that distance is nothing in comparison to what God can do with the hurt, pain, and struggles we go through in this lifetime. One day, it will all be clear to us and we will rejoice in His presence.
The bottom feels different to everyone. I have the opportunity to talk with some individuals about what that pain feels like at the bottom. But what really intrigues me is one statement made by all. "There is no where to go but up"
When you think of up....what do you think of? Where do your eyes go? What do you see? What does "up" look like to you? Is it worse? Is it better? Or is it just another long journey that you are about to embark upon?
For me, looking up means looking to the Heaven's. Looking to God to lead the way. Sure, he is everywhere. I can look up, down, right, or left, and He is in every direction. But when you hit bottom, your natural reaction is to start working your way back to the top.
I find it interesting that when we are there, we find it easier to give up than let God take control. A lot of times, this is the point when we are crying out and begging Him to give us NO MORE! We question our strength and how much we can really handle and we don't put our total trust in Him. Trusting Him means taking a leap of faith and letting go of all that control we are use to having. Sometimes, it means you lose some of the dearest things you love the most. But when it's right, those things that are dear to you will come back into your life and into your heart more than you could ever imagine.
Daniel expressed some of his thoughts in the second chapter He said, "May God be praised for ever and ever! He is wise and powerful. He changes times and seasons. He sets up kings. He removes them from power. The wisdom of those who are wise comes from him. He gives knowledge to those who have understanding. He explains deep and hidden things. He knows what happens in the darkest places. And where he is, everything is light" 2:20-22 (NIRV)
I think we get mixed up in something. Just because our God is sovereign doesn't mean that our lives will be simple. We have to trust Him enough to let go of it all and trust Him with the earthly decision we have to make. Sometimes, those decisions aren't ours to make. They are His. We can open doors and windows, but God only needs a willing spirit to work in their hearts. They may not even know they are willing! But the hardest thing for us to do is to let go. Especially when it hurts so badly.
Over the past few months, I would cling to Psalm 25:
Lord, I worship you. My God, I trust in you.
Don't let me be put to shame. Don't let my enemies win the battle over me.
Those who put their hope in you will never be put to shame.
But those who can't be trusted will be put to shame. They have no excuse.
Lord, show me your ways. Teach me how to follow you.
Guide me in your truth. Teach me. You are God my Savior.
I put my hope in you all day long. Lord, remember your great mercy and love.
You have shown them to your people for a long time.
Don't remember the sins I committed when I was young.
Don't remember how often I refused to obey you.
Remember me because you love me. Lord, you are good.
The Lord is honest and good. He teaches sinners to walk in his ways.
He shows those who aren't proud how to do what is right.
He teaches them his ways. All of the Lord's ways are loving and faithful
for those who obey what his covenant commands.
Lord, be true to your name.Forgive my sin, even though it is great.
Who is the man who has respect for the Lord?
God will teach him the way he has chosen for him.
Things will always go well for him. His children will be given the land.
The Lord shares his plans with those who have respect for him.
He makes his covenant known to them. My eyes always look to the Lord.
He alone can set my feet free from the trap. Turn to me and show me your favor.
I am lonely and hurting. The troubles of my heart have increased.
Set me free from my great pain. Look at how I'm hurting! See how much I suffer!
Take away all of my sins. Look at how many enemies I have!
See how terrible their hatred is for me! Guard my life. Save me.
Don't let me be put to shame. I go to you for safety.
May my honest and good life keep me safe.
I have put my hope in you.
God, set Israel free from all of their troubles!
God has a way of reaching people and doing what needs to be done. We have good intentions, but sometimes, we wear ourselves out just trying to get it done for Him.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Do not depend on your own understanding. In all your ways remember him. Then he will make your paths smooth and straight.
Psalm 18:30 God's way is perfect. The word of the Lord doesn't have any flaws. He is like a shield to all who go to him for safety.
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, you people.Tell him all of your troubles. God is our place of safety. Selah
1 Timothy 4:10 10 We work hard for it. Here is the saying. We have put our hope in the living God. He is the Savior of all people. Most of all he is the Savior of those who believe.
I pray for those tonight who have a hard time letting go. Those who fear losing so much that they are afriad to do what needs to be done. I pray that God gives them everything they need to conquer those fears and to let Him be in control of the hurt. Only He knows the outcome. He wrote the book. I pray they can find peace, comfort, and contentment in knowing they serve a mighty God who will never let them go. I pray they can realize just how far the east is from the west and that no matter what, that distance is nothing in comparison to what God can do with the hurt, pain, and struggles we go through in this lifetime. One day, it will all be clear to us and we will rejoice in His presence.
Friday, February 20, 2009
B 9...Hallelujah!
Tonight I went to Pizza Bingo with my kids. I was extremely exhausted but made a good effort to keep my eye on the numbers and concentrate for 3 long hours on the game. But....we never did win any prizes. For me, the prize was just being there in the moment with my kids.
I have found in schools that parents tend to always be in competition with one another. I have yet to figure out why. For me, it's all about the kids.
With anything we do, we should make the focus what it's really about. No need to compete. We're all gathered for a common purpose. Whether you are at school, or work, or in sports, or at the mall, or at church. Everyone has a goal to reach. To each person, that is going to look different. But we don't have to compete. The only one that you are competing with is yourself and your own heart. Why make it more complicated than it really is.
I observed some parents in their 20's tonight working about 5 cards each. I saw some grandparents just looking over their 1 card each. The younger ones looked stressed beyond max as they tried to win it all. The grandparents just sat and watched the kids have fun. They never lost sight of what was important.
I love in church that we don't have to wait for a certain letter or number to be called out for us to win a prize. We already won. Instead of yelling BINGO, we should be shouting Hallelujah!
Man....What a great ending to an even more fabulous week.
Could it get any better?
I have found in schools that parents tend to always be in competition with one another. I have yet to figure out why. For me, it's all about the kids.
With anything we do, we should make the focus what it's really about. No need to compete. We're all gathered for a common purpose. Whether you are at school, or work, or in sports, or at the mall, or at church. Everyone has a goal to reach. To each person, that is going to look different. But we don't have to compete. The only one that you are competing with is yourself and your own heart. Why make it more complicated than it really is.
I observed some parents in their 20's tonight working about 5 cards each. I saw some grandparents just looking over their 1 card each. The younger ones looked stressed beyond max as they tried to win it all. The grandparents just sat and watched the kids have fun. They never lost sight of what was important.
I love in church that we don't have to wait for a certain letter or number to be called out for us to win a prize. We already won. Instead of yelling BINGO, we should be shouting Hallelujah!
Man....What a great ending to an even more fabulous week.
Could it get any better?
Thursday, February 19, 2009
God works....
Today was interesting for me. God just works in amazing ways. More than I can ever even explain.
I went to my clinical site. I never know where I am going to be placed and I don't know who I will be rounding with for the day. I don't get to pick either.
I went to the floor to meet a fellow RT and begin my rounds for the day. He was a nice looking fellow in his late 20's and seemed a little quiet when I arrived. I thought....'oh great, just what he wants! A student tag-a-long all day'
It may have not been what he wanted, but it's what God wanted.
The more we talked, the more we dove into each others lives. He's divorced and also knows a friend getting ready to enter that same arena. Despeartely trying to help his friend not go down the same path, he's trying to help, but seems down himself.
He asked me some interesting questions: "Do you put your husband before your kids?"
I told him yes. But it wasn't always that way. I had to grow into that. So automatically, he assumed, Chad came first and was the number one in my life.
But what I don't think he was expecting me to say....I said next "But I put God before my husband"
There was some really awkward silence for a few moments. We continued seeing patients. I could tell something was really weighing on him, but I didn't want to ask.
Finally at lunch we sat down and talked and he opened up a whole world to me that just seemed so heavy. The more we talked, the more you could tell the burden was lifted. We talked about relationships, talked about church, and talked about God.
He's not in a good place, but despearetly wants to be there.
I'm confident in my God enough that He will help my new friend get there. I'm excited to see what God will do.
I went to my clinical site. I never know where I am going to be placed and I don't know who I will be rounding with for the day. I don't get to pick either.
I went to the floor to meet a fellow RT and begin my rounds for the day. He was a nice looking fellow in his late 20's and seemed a little quiet when I arrived. I thought....'oh great, just what he wants! A student tag-a-long all day'
It may have not been what he wanted, but it's what God wanted.
The more we talked, the more we dove into each others lives. He's divorced and also knows a friend getting ready to enter that same arena. Despeartely trying to help his friend not go down the same path, he's trying to help, but seems down himself.
He asked me some interesting questions: "Do you put your husband before your kids?"
I told him yes. But it wasn't always that way. I had to grow into that. So automatically, he assumed, Chad came first and was the number one in my life.
But what I don't think he was expecting me to say....I said next "But I put God before my husband"
There was some really awkward silence for a few moments. We continued seeing patients. I could tell something was really weighing on him, but I didn't want to ask.
Finally at lunch we sat down and talked and he opened up a whole world to me that just seemed so heavy. The more we talked, the more you could tell the burden was lifted. We talked about relationships, talked about church, and talked about God.
He's not in a good place, but despearetly wants to be there.
I'm confident in my God enough that He will help my new friend get there. I'm excited to see what God will do.
Monday, February 16, 2009
It only gets better!!!
This day .....or past 3 days....have been some of the most amazing days that I can ever remember. I praise God for all He does in my life.
Today started off for me with an EXTREMELY difficult test at 8am. I normally walk into test with very little faith....but that was not the case. I did all I could do to study for this one and did VERY WELL on it! After the test was completed, we were told this was the hardest test of the semester. Wow! I'm really excited for this semester then!
I thought it would be a difficult morning for me as Chad was going back for his re-check on his melanoma at 9am. I wanted to be with him but I couldn't miss the test. But after many prayers, God gave me such a sense of peace last night when I went to bed. Today He delivered GREAT NEWS!!!!!! He has no spots....no cancer....NO NOTHING! YAY GOD! Thank you so much for giving my husband such a clean bill of health! And thank you for allowing me to rest in the comfort of your assurance.
Today is a very special day for me as I've reached some personal goals. I've learned a few things along the way. A little bit about me....and A LOT about the God I serve. I've learned how to put the past behind me and put God in front of me at all times. When He is in front of me, He IS my shield and protector. And even beside me He is. But it's when I push him behind me that my worldly side takes over. Someone once said "It doesn't matter how deep you fall, but it's how high you bounce when you come back"
I firmly belive that if you always do what you've always done then you will always get what you've always got!
Doing something different was what I did...and I'm a better person for it.
It's all a matter of love, trust, and committment to doing the right thing. I have had the best mentors, accountabilty partners, and have made of of the most amazing friends ever. Sometimes you have to really walk through a fire with someone and put down all personal judgements to see the core of who they really are. It's amazing what God will reveal to you. Most of the time, if something bugs you about someone else, take a good look at yourself first. It probably bothers you because you struggle with the same thing within yourself. Someone else may look at me and still see the flesh as tainted. God looks at me and sees me as His beautiful creation, inside...and out. That's the kind of God I serve. He loves me for me. He lets me mess up. But no matter what, I can count on Him. Nothing else really even matters.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
When we we are on HIS path and follow HIS direction, our eyes will always be looking up!
The days only get better and better and better! I love my life!
Today started off for me with an EXTREMELY difficult test at 8am. I normally walk into test with very little faith....but that was not the case. I did all I could do to study for this one and did VERY WELL on it! After the test was completed, we were told this was the hardest test of the semester. Wow! I'm really excited for this semester then!
I thought it would be a difficult morning for me as Chad was going back for his re-check on his melanoma at 9am. I wanted to be with him but I couldn't miss the test. But after many prayers, God gave me such a sense of peace last night when I went to bed. Today He delivered GREAT NEWS!!!!!! He has no spots....no cancer....NO NOTHING! YAY GOD! Thank you so much for giving my husband such a clean bill of health! And thank you for allowing me to rest in the comfort of your assurance.
Today is a very special day for me as I've reached some personal goals. I've learned a few things along the way. A little bit about me....and A LOT about the God I serve. I've learned how to put the past behind me and put God in front of me at all times. When He is in front of me, He IS my shield and protector. And even beside me He is. But it's when I push him behind me that my worldly side takes over. Someone once said "It doesn't matter how deep you fall, but it's how high you bounce when you come back"
I firmly belive that if you always do what you've always done then you will always get what you've always got!
Doing something different was what I did...and I'm a better person for it.
It's all a matter of love, trust, and committment to doing the right thing. I have had the best mentors, accountabilty partners, and have made of of the most amazing friends ever. Sometimes you have to really walk through a fire with someone and put down all personal judgements to see the core of who they really are. It's amazing what God will reveal to you. Most of the time, if something bugs you about someone else, take a good look at yourself first. It probably bothers you because you struggle with the same thing within yourself. Someone else may look at me and still see the flesh as tainted. God looks at me and sees me as His beautiful creation, inside...and out. That's the kind of God I serve. He loves me for me. He lets me mess up. But no matter what, I can count on Him. Nothing else really even matters.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will direct your paths.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
When we we are on HIS path and follow HIS direction, our eyes will always be looking up!
The days only get better and better and better! I love my life!
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I love it!
I love days that are full of eye opening experiences.
Some you feel are from God and others you know that the message came directly from Satan himself. I love it when God make it TOTALLY CLEAR to you. I don't think I have had many of those moments in my life where I felt like God was standing in front of me saying WWWWWAAAAKKKKKEEEEE UUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today was one of those days! Over and over and over today God communicated His love for me. Man.....I LOVE OUR GOD!!!
Some you feel are from God and others you know that the message came directly from Satan himself. I love it when God make it TOTALLY CLEAR to you. I don't think I have had many of those moments in my life where I felt like God was standing in front of me saying WWWWWAAAAKKKKKEEEEE UUUUPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Today was one of those days! Over and over and over today God communicated His love for me. Man.....I LOVE OUR GOD!!!
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Where do you put your trust?
Saturday morning I spent my time at the church filling the communion trays. This was my day to wash all the trays and during time I had some interesting revelations.
While washing the trays, I found great satisfaction in seeing them come out of the water nice and shiny. They were so clean I could see my face in each of them. One by one I washed, dried, and stacked them on the counter behind me.
When I came back to them, I noticed that the smudge marks on the trays from the bread were still there. But when I took them out of the water....they were gone?
So I washed them as second time focusing a little harder on getting the stains off this time. I put more soap in and made the water even hotter. So hot I couldn't even touch it anymore. I felt this was finally doing the trick. But then, I turn around again, and the trays still have smudges.
I know the trays are very clean and ready for use, but I wasn't content with smudges. I wanted to make them shiny. I wanted to make them like new. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get them to go away on my own. I could have used a brillo pad or even steel wool, but those would have just left permanent scratches on the trays and they would have been ruined for good.
I thought to myself "There has to be a lesson in this...there's a lesson in everything" and even as I stood puzzeled, Terry walked in and I had to share with story with him. But I had not yet figured out what the lesson was.
The more I cleaned....the more happy I was that I could see myself in the tray. A shiny beautiful reflection of myself was glaring back each time.
Just putting it in the water was not good enough. I had to really WANT it to go away. I didn't have to work really hard on all of them, but some of them were more smudged than others.
I am so happy that God uses his devine perfection to wash my sins away. It's never hard for Him. I make it harder on myself. The process of scrubbing and using hot water is more of the approach I would use. I'm glad that He makes it so much easier. When I stop and forgive myself in the way He forgives me, life seems to be so much easier.
Stranger things have happned but.....I had put the trays to the side, thinking I may give them one more cleaning. When I came back to them, the smudges were gone. Completely gone.
Some trust in......
I trust in the name of the Lord our God!
While washing the trays, I found great satisfaction in seeing them come out of the water nice and shiny. They were so clean I could see my face in each of them. One by one I washed, dried, and stacked them on the counter behind me.
When I came back to them, I noticed that the smudge marks on the trays from the bread were still there. But when I took them out of the water....they were gone?
So I washed them as second time focusing a little harder on getting the stains off this time. I put more soap in and made the water even hotter. So hot I couldn't even touch it anymore. I felt this was finally doing the trick. But then, I turn around again, and the trays still have smudges.
I know the trays are very clean and ready for use, but I wasn't content with smudges. I wanted to make them shiny. I wanted to make them like new. But no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't get them to go away on my own. I could have used a brillo pad or even steel wool, but those would have just left permanent scratches on the trays and they would have been ruined for good.
I thought to myself "There has to be a lesson in this...there's a lesson in everything" and even as I stood puzzeled, Terry walked in and I had to share with story with him. But I had not yet figured out what the lesson was.
The more I cleaned....the more happy I was that I could see myself in the tray. A shiny beautiful reflection of myself was glaring back each time.
Just putting it in the water was not good enough. I had to really WANT it to go away. I didn't have to work really hard on all of them, but some of them were more smudged than others.
I am so happy that God uses his devine perfection to wash my sins away. It's never hard for Him. I make it harder on myself. The process of scrubbing and using hot water is more of the approach I would use. I'm glad that He makes it so much easier. When I stop and forgive myself in the way He forgives me, life seems to be so much easier.
Stranger things have happned but.....I had put the trays to the side, thinking I may give them one more cleaning. When I came back to them, the smudges were gone. Completely gone.
Some trust in......
I trust in the name of the Lord our God!
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