Asasha London!!! 7lbs 4oz 19 in

It was a long day, but well worth it!


This is me and my brother Randy. And Asasha of course!

She didn't cry much, but when she did, it was so cute!

She couldn't get warm so this is how her first hour was spent.

She is perfect!!!

Disney Spectacular

Concentrate on Life....not the other!

Today has just been BUSY!!!

I started with my final visit to my doctor. He is such a great man. We went over everything for the surgery and talked about some of my fears as well. (most I probably wouldn't have if I didn't work there)
If that visit wasn't long enough and depressing enough, I just spent 2.5 hours at the hospital getting everything ready, filling out paperwork, drawing blood, blood, and more blood, watching videos (not recommended) and just really being plum scared out of my mind.

It's so funny! I really do talk a good talk. When at work...it's all work and there aren't a whole lot of emotions tied to it. But when I become the patient, it's a totally different ballgame. So that bravery that I have when I'm "on the job" is now out the window. I am completely scared out of my mind!

The hospital has been great and has agreed to fulfill all my request! I've hit no snags at this point. Other than my emotions.

Here's the thing....you go into these situations and what's the thing you concentrate on??? Death! I'll just say it because it's out there! Death is on my mind. I would like to say that I am not scared to die...but when in fact. I am!
Or...is it that I am afraid of what I leave behind???

Concentrating on life would be so much more beneficial than concentrating on death. I try to live life abundantly and hope that in everything I do, I'm doing it to glorify God. Okay...now reality is...I know that doesn't happen. I'm a sinner!
Looking at life overall if we lived everyday like it were truly our last, our outcomes would be so different. Would we do more with our kids? Would we worry less about money? Would we say I love you more? Would I forgive more? What would you do that is different? Do you truly beleive that you live today like it is your last?
When I tend to whine and complain about things, this is where my mind goes. Is it necessary for me to be upset and complain....because really....if it were my last day, would it even matter?

I'm so excited to live life! I choose life! I choose to be happy! I choose to rejoice! Even though at times....I choose to be scared, I then choose to trust!

It's all perspective really! What will you choose to do in your life today!

Make it count!
Make a difference!
Make a change!
Make it about Him!

Nothing else really matters!

happenings....

This morning was really interesting as I sat down and filled out my living will. The hospital called yesterday and through our conversation she began to ask me my wishes and so forth. I finally just said, "I'll fill out the will and bring it tomorrow."
The living will is an interesting paper to fill out. You don't really think of these things until you have to. I always said, "Oh...I'll just let Chad make whatever decision" but then it dawned on me, he may not want to have to make that decision. So, now he won't have to. It's all in writing and finished.

Onto better news, I have felt really good the past 3 days. I'm not saying there isn't any pain as there surely is, but part of the pain has taken a vacation for the past few days. So much so that I haven't taken any pain meds since Saturday. Whoo Hoo! Quick movements and standing straight up tends to be the most painful, but even last night at church was good. Makes me feel good to have good days. 6 more days until the surgery and then it's all downhill after that. Today and tomorrow consist of me getting everything in order with the hospital and doctor so I can use Monday and Tuesday to rest and relax.

UNLESS....
My sister-in-law just called me and said that she is dilated to a 4 and cervix are soft! WHOO HOO!!!! I have prayed and prayed that my new niece Asasha London will arrive before I have to go into the hospital. Jessica has been in pre-term labor for the past 10 days and they have now given her the go ahead! If this baby comes...they are not stopping it! I pray for great health...and for her to be born before next Tuesday!!! (selfish...yes...I know ;o)

KPC's 2008

You just gotta love these kiddos. Thank you Theresa for the picture!!!

Question???

If you do something for yourself that involves nobody else, makes you feel better, nobody else can benefit from it, you not changing anything, and the only person that can be gratified is you....is that selfish???

I made a comment the other day that I thought triathalons were selfish sports. I feel bad when Chad goes and I don't go to support him. But...when I'm there, I just sit. I can't watch him, see him, root for him, but just sit and wait for him to finish. So I just ride there with him, and come home with him. It's not like football where you are part of a team and you cheer them on. You drop them off and don't see them again until it's over. It's a little boring.
So, my comment about it being a selfish sport came from the fact that you only do this for yourself. You only race against a clock. You don't speak to anyone, compete with anyone, create a bond with anyone, support anyone...you are just in it for yourself.

Am I wrong??? Don't need to be right....but still feel bad about my feelings.

Uncharted Territory!

I've been looking into my options for when school starts again in the fall. I have several on the table at the moment. However, the one that is becoming promising is not my most favorite. You see, their colors are a color that I am not fond of. But yet, I have all the program requirements to start today. They have one more letter in their name than I am use to saying, but acceptance looks like a piece of cake. The drive time is about 45 minutes, but might be worth the trip.

Oh my friends, can you even guess what this university is???

Yep...it's a God thing!

Today I was approaching the checkout line at the grocery store. I began to put my things on the belt as I noticed the woman in front of me. She was apparetly poor as you could tell by her dress, hygiene, and well, you could just tell.

I noticed at this point she was digging every little bit of change out of her pockets. Her bill came to $9.02 and she could only come up with $5.95. I watched for about 30 seconds as she had the manager void the items and put them back.
I don't ever carry cash on me so I knew I couldn't help. I was trying to figure out a way that I could pay for her items on my bill and then still give them to her. I developed a plan...and then I opened my wallet and for some reason.....there was $4.00 folded up nice and neatly in there. I had just gone to lunch with Chad and never noticed any cash in my wallet so I have no idea how or when it go there. I told him to put the items back on her bill and I gave her the $4.00. She said "No, I really don't need these items" and I said "It doesn't matter, please take the cash anyway". He rung them back up, she said thank you and she was on her way.

Chad didn't put the money in my wallet and I have no idea how it got there, but God does...and that's all that matters.

Not Recommended!

I do not recommend going back to re-reading blogs that I wrote from a year or two ago. I did this last night and became sad. Sad because it looks like something tragic is going on in my life. I don't really notice it that way but it makes me wonder if others think that. When reading, it sounds like it is just always something! I wonder why I don't notice it until I take the time to go back and reflect on my past writings.

I don't like complaining or whining and I always try to be that person that finds the positive in everything. Even a hang nail!

I guess I hope that when others see me....they don't see the down side. I hope they see my positive outlook on life.

So Theresa sent me a personality test and I think it explains me just perfectly! I just hope by now...people know their secrets are safe with me! ;o)

You Are An Exclamation Point

You are a bundle of... well, something. You're often a bundle of joy, passion, or drama. You're loud, brash, and outgoing. If you think it, you say it. Definitely not the quiet type, you really don't keep a lot to yourself. You're lively and inspiring. People love to be around your energy. (But they do secretly worry that you'll spill their secrets without even realizing it.) You excel in: Public speaking You get along best with: the Dash

What Punctuation Mark Are You?

When a day....is a good day!

Yesterday was a great day for me. I'm going to venture on and say it was amazing as I felt really great most of the day. (yes T...I said MOST) The day started out slow for me as I s-l-o-w-e-l-y cleaned my house. Theresa came to watch! ;o) But as the day progressed, and meds kicked in, I was able to make it through a recital, and a l-o-n-g night at work!

I have 19 more days until my surgery and I have to admit, the last week has been unusually painful and really quite debilitating. It was no picnic. But I'm not willing to let that stop me. I have a feeling that after this next week is over, I may collapse! ;o)

I was really taken out of my comfort zone in many ways. I had to ask others for help on certain things, rely on pain meds most of the time, had to postpone things with the kids, and really just lay on the couch during that time. None of that is my cup of tea. But I learned some really great lessons in it. By asking others to help, I feel like not only are they blessing me by helping, but they are blessing the Father in their work and service. I'm not always the best at delegating task but I did it and was overwhelmed by the response. My plate was overflowing, but now my heart is and I have time to spare.

This kind of service just doesn't come from church, but I notice it all around me. My friends at work have become like family to me. They are so gracious in their continuing love and support in whatever I am going through and whatever my future brings. They are not all Christians but the one thing that I hope they see is that Christ lives in me and that my service to others is a service that is pleasing to Him. Not because it's something I have passion about, or get a paycheck for...but because in everythng I choose to do in my lifetime, I do it for the glory of God.

Today is a very busy and full day for me and will be a long night at work again as well. I need sleep, but that will have to wait until Monday. ;o)

James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

God's not nearly done working on me yet!

Media & Jesus

Terry Rush mentioned it in his blog about Jesus in the media. Ever since then, it seems like my eyes and ears have been drawn to find Him there more and more. But it hasn't been very difficult this week.
Just a moment ago, I saw a commercial for something called "The Lord's Boot Camp". I was interested enough to look it up.

Come to find out that this is a mission boot camp where third world countries are created to prepare teens for the mission field. They nurture orphans, build granaries, dig wells, and minister in such far-flung places as Tanzania, Mongolia, Indonesia, Belize, and Ukraine.

I will be interested to watch this special as it airs on Saturday, April 12 at 7:00pm.



Full Aritcle:
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2008/february/28.60.html?start=1

2 NIGHTS IN A ROW!!!

Jesus in the media again!!! But this time...IT'S WITH THE RIGHT WORDS!!!
Way to go American Idol! And way to go Jesus!!!

American Idol does it AGAIN!!!

Twice now American Idol has brought our Father into the mix! In case you missed it...here is the closing song from night! There is big controversy this morning that edited out Jesus...but they didn't edit out Lord and I don't think it lost it's message!!!! I think with million of viewers watching...the message was clear! Even with the bleeping at the end of the show...which I'm sure they used for ratings....I still don't think it took away from the powerful message that was left by this song!

Blessed!!!

There is always something about life that excites me. The random hello on the street, a thoughtful note in the mail, and just random thoughtfulness.
I like those things. And just as much, I like to give them as well. Someone told me today at work that I am one of the friendliest girls she knows. "You say hello to everyone who passes by and you always smile"

My mind has been occupied with a lot of junk as of lately. But that's okay. There's good reason for that.
Even with junk in the way, we can always keep our chins up. Today was one of those days that really could just get ya down. Bless Chad's heart, he was just hit from every direction today and didn't know weather to look forward or behind. It was just a crazy day altogether.

Today I feel blessed! I feel so blessed in life. I am a rich woman. Richly blessed! ;o) So many things go on in life...who am I to complain. I have my share of hardships, but I also have more than my things in life to rejoice about.
Is it okay to be down and out??? Yep! Sure is. But I like the fun side of life and look forward to having fun regardless of the endeavour!

Thank you God for the life that I have! I couldn't be happier than I am today!

Random Favorites....

Cereal = Captain Crunch Berries

Drink = Diet Dr. Pepper

Restaurant = Olive Garden

Time of Day = Early morning...at sunrise

Day of the Week = Thursday

Childhood moment = Ice Skating and getting to be in Disney's Great Ice Odyssey.

Girly thing to do = Get a pedicure!!!

Place to be = On the couch with Chad

Hang Out Spots = Ice Cream Shops

Hot Drink = Hot Chocolate

Pie = Millionaire Pie

TV Show = Anything reality!

Toy as a kid = Holly Hobby Doll

Rock Star = Any big hair band from the 80's!

Vacation Spot = Dallas

My own Physical Feature = Eyes

Ever Wondered???

In case you have ever wondered who looks like who in this family.....here ya go!

Here you have Emilie at 2 years old and Me at 2 years old! Crazy!!!

memory lane

Now I'm having fun looking back and looking at life now.

Here Ian weighs 3lbs 1oz. He was really awake and alert for such a little guy. But all that we have come through, he has done so well. We have our moments...but overall I couldn't have asked for anything better!


He is growing up on us so fast. Pretty soon he'll be 18 and won't want anything to do with us. For now, I will be happy that he still loves to be around me!

Keeping with the theme

Well, I got quite a few comments last night at church about yesterday's blog. Chad was rather upset as I didn't post some of his favorite pictures. Must I say....I won't DARE!!! But as I come across some of the blast from the past, I guess it's okay to share with you. And just a little side note....for all of you my age....YES...YOU HAD BIG HAIR TOO!!! So don't even try to deny it!
The above pic was taken in March 1992 at this little place called Fromex inside Woodland hills mall. They had this booth where you go in and use a remote control to take your pictures. I think those were our first offical pictures we ever took together. It was a fun time as we created may fun poses behind the curtain! The next picture is us after we had climbed all the way up some huge cliff in Searcy and then climbed back down. It was a fun day. Needless today, we conqured the cliff.

#14

It's really neat to me to know that Chad and I have been married now for 14 years. This picture was taken on Chad's 21st birthday. (yes, we are skinny, and TAN!)
It's amazing over the years what life takes you through. The ups, the downs, the happiness, the sadness, and so much more.
Over this past year, we feel like we have embarked on a rather unusual journey together. Not necessarily the road we would have chosen to travel, but one that God has chosen for us.

We love eachother more today then I could have even fathomed 14 years ago. Sure, it was cute puppy love then...and really...it still is. One of the neatest things ever is that I think Chad and I have grown up together.

I can't imagine life without Chad. I can't imagine life without all the struggles that we have been through together. It would take just a lifetime to go through them all, and yet, we are not even close to being finished. I couldn't be happier than I am right now. We do everything together! We laugh together, cry together, get mad together, gain weight together, get sick together, get hurt together, make friends together, and the list goes on and on.

It's no secret how much I love him. He's my life. My love.

21 years of friendship!

Tisha and I met at the workshop 21 years ago. We've been the best of friends ever since. I can't imagine my life without her in it. Thanks Keith for capturing the moment!

Who am I???

What's up with life lately? I just sometimes don't get it. Life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Right? Well, life gives you troubles and what do you do with that? Give up? Give in? Give it to God??? Ah! Yeah...I think it's that one.

But when I give it to God, why does it keep coming back? I have been reading the book of Job over the last month. Reading...re-reading...and reading some parts again. I wouldn't necessarily compare myself to him in the fact that our struggles are not the same. I know that Job was a messenger. God sent a message through him that no matter what the struggles....we should never lose our faith. His family was dying of thirst and God finally relieved them of all their sufferings. I wonder if I have to get to that point to be relieved.

Life has been rough lately. Truly! And now that I think about it, my whole life has been a story of roughness. Am I whining? No. Complaining?? No! But I'm making an observation into my own life and wonder if God is trying to send a message through me. Would He do that? And if so...why pick me? Who am I???

Chad is home recovering today from his latest surgery on Friday. Walking has been a challenge, but he is being so strong. I praise God through all of this that they have been able to get all the cancer out and he does not need any chemo or radiation.
My doctor informed me this week that I must have a hysterectomy. I don't know how to feel. I'm okay with the physical aspect of this, but not the emotional part.

How long can one be strong? Is it okay to not be strong? So many questions go through my head.

I do not feel like I suffer as Job did. But I do know the feeling right now of suffering. I pray that in all things that God will not allow my children to suffer. I would take all the pain in the world for my family. And I would take my last breath for them as well. To know they are safe and healthy gives me peace.

If God sent me here to be a messenger, what is my message? What is it that God wants to convey through me. Have I conveyed it yet? Do people know? Am I getting it? But most of all...why me? Who am I that he cares enough to send a message through me.

Things you should never say to your mother!

(I said) Ian...I see you are starting to get hair under your nose!
(Ian said) Really Mom!!! So are you!!!

(Lukus said) Mom, did you want your hair to look good today?
(I said) Yeah, why?
(Lukus said) Well, it looks better now that the wind has blown it everywhere!

(Emilie said) Mom, are you ever going to have another baby?
(I said) Definitely NO! Why?
(Emilie said) Because you have enough room still in your tummy!

(Lukus said) Ah...you and grandma look so much alike.
(I said) Yeah, but she's older
(Lukus said) Yeah, you both look the same age.

And the number one thing to never say to this mom is....
"Mom....you look really good in orange"

I'm not even going to tell you which child said it!!!

Fun times in Bentonville!

Just Deal!!!

I love game shows! It's no secret in our house that one of our favorite shows to watch is Deal or No Deal.

I have to admit, I have a huge amount of anxiety when watching this show. You can catch me at many points telling them to just "Deal"! And again they push the limit until they go home with so much less than they could have had.

What if we gave this same amount of 'dealing' to our lives...our faith...our God?

Let's see, we are chosen to play a very intense game in life. We're given the best of times...and the worst of times. I have to start out by opening 5 areas that I may not be happy with. It's a gamble. But I go for it anyway. I could either be dealt something that is not so painful to deal with and the sting doesn't hurt to lose it, or I could be risky and end up opening the one thing that I dreaded all along. In the beginning, it's easy. The pain of losing something or getting hurt isn't so hard because why??? Well,I am relying on faith. Faith brought me to this point in life and now I have to deal with the consequences of my actions. Am I afraid of the consequences??? Not yet! Why??? Because I have faith in the banker...well...God! I nervously await that phone call...or answer to prayer...and must have patience while he makes His decision. Will my answer be rewarding, or will it be less than I expected Him to tell me?
But then wait! You have to make a decision. He's now answered your prayer. Do you say, Deal.....or no deal? It's HIS decision. You can choose to like it or leave it. How many times in our lives do we say "deal" and how many times do we ask Him for an answer and then walk away? It blows me away how many times that I have just chosen to make my own deal rather than wait for Him. In the end, you've either got a fortune in the bank, or you are going home settling for less.

But that's not our case with God. We already have a fortune. We are already millionaires. We don't have to make a DEAL because He paid the price for us. He is our banker. He is our friend. I think He wants to 'deal' every time and live life as He intends for it to be and not take it into our own hands.

Father thank you so much for giving me this opportunity to enter this game of life with you. I'm so sorry for all the times I made my own deals and didn't listen to what you were trying to tell me. Lately, the deals have not been so good and I have wanted to throw away what you gave me to take it into my own hands. Father please forgive me for not keeping my eye on you. Thank you for giving me faith and knowing I can believe in you that no matter what case I open, the answer always comes from you. Help me to trust you right now and forever.

Friends

Sometimes, words just can't express enough how thankful you are to have someone this special in your life!

Satisfied

I made an attempt to make my first video using software that came with my computer. Tell me what you think!

Day 3

And on the 3rd day....we rested!!!

Day 2 of insanity!

Before!

It's coming along quite nicely!
I can't wait to see it when it's done and has furniature in it!

Extreme Insanity

There's nothing better than feeling spontaneous and ripping up the carpet in your living room. I am so tired of carpet. It just doesn't work well with 3 kids. So the best way to fix it, is to get rid of it. Today I went to Lowe's and got a wild hair to buy tile and fix up our living room. Now, this is a much bigger job than I anticipated, but there is nothing better to cure you when you feel down to do something that makes you feel better. I don't really like my house, but I'm happy to have a home so I make the best of it. It has many....and I mean many problems with it. The big job to tackle will be our bathroom, but until then, I just thought the carpet had to go. Taking out the boards with carpet tacks was NOT fun!!!
However, I love how it's going to look I got it all out of the house and laid the tiles out! It will look so good! And my dear brother came by tonight to help me lift furniture. All I can say is that big TV's and piano's are meant to stay in their places and not be moved!


Chad coming in to inspect my work!

Don't you love how red his face is??? Dr's give great meds!

This will be the final look! Well, with more tile of course. I'm really excited! Right now I even love the concrete floor!

Pee mate

Girls....this is your next Christmas present from me!!! Just so you know....THIS IS A REAL PRODUCT!!!

Use me O Lord

We sing the song:
Give me the heart of a servant
Tender and faithful and true
Fill me with love and use me O Lord
So that the world can see you.

How amazing are these words!!! 4 simple phrases that mean so much. I long for my heart to be that of one of HIS servants and after He has used my heart and molded it to be what He desires, I pray that one day, others will see Him through me.

Be glorified!

"

"Do not be frightened...make up your mind not to worry...stand up and lift up your
heads...be careful or your hearts will be weighed down...be always on the
watch and pray..."
Do you live afraid? Do you worry? Are you weighed down?
God gives us hope! He gives us peace so that in everything we do, in everything we say, in every decision we must make, that we can rely on him.

Be encouraged today. Be happy! Live in His light no matter what the circumstance!!! You may have it bad, Jesus had it worse. He took that pain for us so that we can be light and love to all around us!

Have a glorious day!

WOW!

I just have no words for this! Can you think of any???

Laughter

If laughter is the the best medicine...then why on earth am I still in school? I should be making millions by now. I love to laugh. It is what keeps me going through hard times. This weekend has to be the best weekend I have had in years. I spent it with the most beautiful ladies at our appreciation banquet and all I can say is the giggles were rollin from the moment we walked in the door. I honestly cannot even tell you what was SO funny, but whatever it was, it kept us going all night long.
A series of events happened here....not sure what...but something was REALLY funny!
I truly loves these ladies!

Friends

I have many friends in my life. I am so blessed beyond measure.

Today, Theresa and I went shopping and for the first time in over a year, I will be wearing a dress tonight. I had the best time shopping for dresses and found the absolute most best sale ever. I'm a little uncomfortable wearing dresses, but I will let all that go tonight so that I can enjoy myself....not wearing my usual suits!

Then, I am coming home and recieve a phone call. Lately for me, receiving phone calls have not been entirely good news. But this one was the most precious phone call from my freind Carrie. She was full of emotion as she told me she wrote a song for me as she is mindful of all we are going though. As I got off the phone with her I couldn't help but cry. She sang it for me and it was one of the most beautiful prayer songs I've heard in a long time. She said it needed some work, but I think the words are perfect. And for her to sing it to me was priceless!!!

Father when I kneel to you my head beneath your grace
I see your loving kindness, I feel your warm embrace
I know that in my sorrow, you know my hurt is deep
And when I bow before you, that is all you need.....

Father God
Hear my prayer
I am breaking with a heart of despair
Will you come and lift my soul
Please take my heart and completely make me whole,
And I know that your here
And I know that you care
When I come to you, my soul so weak
Please Lord come and make me complete,
This is my prayer

I have so many great friends that I can not fathom life without them right now. I have never been so touched and to have a friend feel my pain and write a song...now that is just amzaing. If there were no other blessings in my life right now, I would feel abudently blessed to have the friends I have by my side.