Today has just been BUSY!!!
I started with my final visit to my doctor. He is such a great man. We went over everything for the surgery and talked about some of my fears as well. (most I probably wouldn't have if I didn't work there)
If that visit wasn't long enough and depressing enough, I just spent 2.5 hours at the hospital getting everything ready, filling out paperwork, drawing blood, blood, and more blood, watching videos (not recommended) and just really being plum scared out of my mind.
It's so funny! I really do talk a good talk. When at work...it's all work and there aren't a whole lot of emotions tied to it. But when I become the patient, it's a totally different ballgame. So that bravery that I have when I'm "on the job" is now out the window. I am completely scared out of my mind!
The hospital has been great and has agreed to fulfill all my request! I've hit no snags at this point. Other than my emotions.
Here's the thing....you go into these situations and what's the thing you concentrate on??? Death! I'll just say it because it's out there! Death is on my mind. I would like to say that I am not scared to die...but when in fact. I am!
Or...is it that I am afraid of what I leave behind???
Concentrating on life would be so much more beneficial than concentrating on death. I try to live life abundantly and hope that in everything I do, I'm doing it to glorify God. Okay...now reality is...I know that doesn't happen. I'm a sinner!
Looking at life overall if we lived everyday like it were truly our last, our outcomes would be so different. Would we do more with our kids? Would we worry less about money? Would we say I love you more? Would I forgive more? What would you do that is different? Do you truly beleive that you live today like it is your last?
When I tend to whine and complain about things, this is where my mind goes. Is it necessary for me to be upset and complain....because really....if it were my last day, would it even matter?
I'm so excited to live life! I choose life! I choose to be happy! I choose to rejoice! Even though at times....I choose to be scared, I then choose to trust!
It's all perspective really! What will you choose to do in your life today!
Make it count!
Make a difference!
Make a change!
Make it about Him!
Nothing else really matters!
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"I have set before you life and death...Now choose life." Deuteronomy 30:19
Thank you for choosing life in everything you do!
I pray that God will replace your anxiety with peace, your fears with comfort and your worries with trust. I pray that you will be able to trade your sorrows, pain and sickness for the joy of the Lord! As you face the trials that this week brings, know that you are loved, and let that love (of those that are around you and of Him that is within you) carry you through. You are wonderful, my friend.
Love you!
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