Boy...I think it goes in cycles! I'm not old enough for a midlife crisis or anything.
Work is becoming more challanging each week. I can tell you that I have job security. As long as there are guns, kinves, cars, and well, just about anyone breathing...I have a pretty stable job.
Some weeks are slow, others are like this weekend and just kick my tail. I know this when I get up on Monday morning and it's hard to move my legs! ;o) Oh the cramps and soreness! Yikes. I've been told if I strectch before I go to work, it won't be so bad...however, at 4am...stretching is the last thing I have on my mind while getting ready for work.
The weary-ness comes in from missing friends and family. Our family had another birthday party to celebrate this weekend and again, I was unable to attend. I could have gone at the end just for a short visit but I was so tired, I had to come home and crash. I miss getting to spend time with my family.
I miss church terribly. I miss it even moreso since Chad won't go without me. This is not creating a good life for my children. I understand his reasoning. I just don't think it's good for my kids NOT to go to church. I don't think it's good for HIM not to go to church. And even for that, I don't think it's good for me to not be going. July is my one year date for this agreeement at the hospital. I haven't figured out how it is going to work when I ask off for Sunday's. Just looks like I'm not going to be able to do that and that is also discouraging. I love that everyone I work with is a christian and it makes it so much easier to be at work each week. They have become my family but can never replace my church family.
This week will be rough. I have two exams back to back Tuesday and Wednesday so I have my nose in a book for the rest of the day now. (On top of going to classes)
And you know....this will get worse before it gets any better. I don't have to like it, but I'm guess I'm just okay with it.
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I know you know, but trust and patience are so key in hanging in through the weary times. Trust that He has a bigger plan at work than the small portion we see as we live through it, and the patience to let it play out over time, which may be a lot longer than we prefer.
I really think this season in your life is preparing you for something bigger. I can't say any one reason why, but I think He is at work in you and your family right now. I'm sorry for the pain and uncertainty as you travel through this time, though.
Just know that your friends care, and wish we knew better how to help.
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