Not sure what to count down to anymore, there is so much going on. It's good to have a busy life!!!
I've been counting down to graduation (21 days) but now my focused has switched.
I'm counting down to the KPC Night of Praise. 5 MORE DAYS!!!!
What a joy this year has been. These kids are amazing to me. They teach me so much about joy and laughter, happiness and sadness, and pride and humility. I think God gave me the ability to teach these kids so that I may learn from them myself.
In my 3 years of doing this, they have helped me grow in ways I didn't see before. It's like that phrase "I once was blind, but now I see...." I know....it doesn't mean this...but so many things that my heart and mind were blind to before, are now so opened. Things that were hurting my heart because of my selfish and prideful ways, I see so differently now.
Kids are smart. They are much smarter than we ever give them credit for. And when I teach 27 of them 4 times a month, I am the one that is really learning God lessons from them. The things they say are truly God statements. The ways they serve each other are beautiful acts of God. The way they care for one another and love each other shows just what God has commanded us to do. These kids have got it right.
I have to admit.....I'm sad. I'm really sad that in 5 days, this will be over again. I could do this all year. I love it that much. What makes me love it even more is the fact that I have a church family that supports this ministry and these kids so much. I have delegated more this year than I ever have and I pray it goes perfectly....and it will! God has placed the right people in place for this.
The kids look forward to this night for 4 1/2 months and they can't wait for their moms and dads to see what they have accomplished. To see how they have learned to worship God. For me.....when I turn my head at church and see them praising God with all they've got......that makes my heart simply smile. I can't even imagine what it does in God's heart. I'm not sure I have ever seen a smile quite that big....and I bet he's got it! :o)
I know one thing for sure, when this is over....I'll be able to just breathe! All of this behind me will be a good thing...but a chapter in my life gone. So what's next?
Stay tuned....and I'll tell ya! :o)
Friday, April 16, 2010
Monday, April 12, 2010
25 days
I know what I know...and it's all I know.
The test are overwhelming.
Changes here and there and everywhere. But what doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?
Today we did our graduation check, got our caps and gowns, and got everything in order. Really, it was kind of fun but for a moment, I felt relief and sadness all at the same time that this chapter of my life is almost over. Time for a new one to begin. I'm excited for that.
The test are overwhelming.
Changes here and there and everywhere. But what doesn't kill me will make me stronger right?
Today we did our graduation check, got our caps and gowns, and got everything in order. Really, it was kind of fun but for a moment, I felt relief and sadness all at the same time that this chapter of my life is almost over. Time for a new one to begin. I'm excited for that.
Tuesday, April 06, 2010
Whoa!!! 30 days!!!
Okay!!! Here we go!
30 days left! GRADUATION!!!! Wow!
In the next 3 and a half weeks I have to take 8 more huge exams, 13 more class days, 2 more doctor lectures, 6 more clinicals, a surgery rotation in the heart cath lab, a meeting with financial team, academic counselors, and graduation counselors.
Today in the car I wasn't listening to any music. That is odd for me. The moment I get in the car I turn something on and start singing. But today the peacefulness was amazing. When I do that, God sends me songs like "Still" and "Peace be Still" and "Peace, Perfect Peace" and "It is well" and so on. I know those are God moments. I love those moments.
I said today that I'm worried about my spirit over the next few weeks. Philippians 4:6 tells me not to worry and in Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus says that our Father will take care of our needs...and not to worry.
How do I not worry? Well he tells me in 1 Peter to cast my anxieties on him because he cares for me.
And back in Phillipians 4:7 is says He promises to give us the peace that passes all understanding.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
If you read this....and I'm not sure who does anymore....please pray for the next 30 days that I will freely lay all my burdens down and trust Him to give me the rest I need. Pray that whatever happens, it will be all by His will....not mine. Pray that I have peace and understanding that this is not just a step, but a milestone that is about to be over and a new milestone to begin in my life. Pray for those that I come in contact with. Who knows if I will offend them by my lack of concentration or inability to focus on anything except these exams. Pray that I have the ability to lay down the books and focus on God and worship Him freely without feeling behind or burdened that I need to be doing something else. Pray that God works through me to accomplish all things in life. Pray that I continue to be strong in my faith in Him and that I don't lose site of the journey and the goal. Pray for my husband as he feels so neglected right now. Pray for my kids that they can hold on for 3 more weeks until they get their mamma back! Pray for my physical body as it is taking a beating right now. It need sleep! Pray for the patients I will see and pray that they see God working through me.
30 days left! GRADUATION!!!! Wow!
In the next 3 and a half weeks I have to take 8 more huge exams, 13 more class days, 2 more doctor lectures, 6 more clinicals, a surgery rotation in the heart cath lab, a meeting with financial team, academic counselors, and graduation counselors.
Today in the car I wasn't listening to any music. That is odd for me. The moment I get in the car I turn something on and start singing. But today the peacefulness was amazing. When I do that, God sends me songs like "Still" and "Peace be Still" and "Peace, Perfect Peace" and "It is well" and so on. I know those are God moments. I love those moments.
I said today that I'm worried about my spirit over the next few weeks. Philippians 4:6 tells me not to worry and in Matthew 6:25-34 Jesus says that our Father will take care of our needs...and not to worry.
How do I not worry? Well he tells me in 1 Peter to cast my anxieties on him because he cares for me.
And back in Phillipians 4:7 is says He promises to give us the peace that passes all understanding.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light” (Matthew 11:28-30).
If you read this....and I'm not sure who does anymore....please pray for the next 30 days that I will freely lay all my burdens down and trust Him to give me the rest I need. Pray that whatever happens, it will be all by His will....not mine. Pray that I have peace and understanding that this is not just a step, but a milestone that is about to be over and a new milestone to begin in my life. Pray for those that I come in contact with. Who knows if I will offend them by my lack of concentration or inability to focus on anything except these exams. Pray that I have the ability to lay down the books and focus on God and worship Him freely without feeling behind or burdened that I need to be doing something else. Pray that God works through me to accomplish all things in life. Pray that I continue to be strong in my faith in Him and that I don't lose site of the journey and the goal. Pray for my husband as he feels so neglected right now. Pray for my kids that they can hold on for 3 more weeks until they get their mamma back! Pray for my physical body as it is taking a beating right now. It need sleep! Pray for the patients I will see and pray that they see God working through me.
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Daddy's and Daughters
Fortunatley, Chad teaches Emilie what a girl is supposed to be treated like!!!!
This is them getting ready for the Father/Daughter dance. It was priceless!!!!
This is them getting ready for the Father/Daughter dance. It was priceless!!!!
Friday, January 15, 2010
Shining with brightness
2 Cor. 3:16-18 it says, "Whenever, though, they turn to face God as Moses did, God removes the veil and there they are--face to face! They suddenly recognize that God is a living, personal presence, not a piece of chiseled stone. And when God is personally present, a living Spirit, that old, constricting legislation is recognized as obsolete. We're free of it! All of us! Nothing between us and God, our faces shining with the brightness of his face. And so we are transfigured much like the Messiah, our lives gradually becoming brighter and more beautiful as God enters our lives and we become like him."
Father, I want to communicate Your name to others, in worship, at work, in the store, everywhere! Let me shine with brightness so that others may see You though me and so I can become more like You. Amen
Father, I want to communicate Your name to others, in worship, at work, in the store, everywhere! Let me shine with brightness so that others may see You though me and so I can become more like You. Amen
He's got my attention!
God's talking! I'm listening!
I highlight words in these songs not to point out negatives, but to point out things I have said to myself over the past few weeks in trying to make some decisions. It think God decided that if I wasn't going to listen that he would scream it at me last night through these songs. My heart sank. It was like being in that movie "Field of Dreams" and nobody could see the players......and here I sat wondering...."Am I the only one getting the message????" Okay.....He has my full attention!
We are not afraid, to follow where You lead,
Leaving what we know, for what we cannot see.
We are not afraid for we are not alone,
and so we'll go with You into the unknown.
We are not afraid to love the way You do,
to serve with the same grace we receive from You.
We are not afraid to look beyond ourselves,and offer hope to those who cannot help themselves.
We are not afraid though some say we should wait,
the cost is just too high, the danger is too great
We are not afraid to move when You say move,
Trusting in Your voice, We will follow You.
We will be fearless for You. Fearless for You.
We will be faithful in all that we do.
If we step out on the waves or walk through the flames
Whatever you ask us to do, we will be fearless for You.
~Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go. Anywhere He leads me in this world below
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not afraid.
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not alone.
~Anywhere with Jesus over land and sea, Telling souls in darkness of salvation free.
~READY AS HE SUMMONS ME TO GO OR STAY! ANYWHERE WITH JESUS WHEN HE POINTS THE WAY!
~I choose to be holy, set apart for You my Master, ready to do Your will. Lord, I'm ready to do your will.
~Give me the heart of a servant, tender and faith and true. Fill me with love, then use me O Lord, so that the world can see You.
~Mold me and shape me, do what you must do. To make me a servant, make me like You.
~Let me be a sacrifice, holy and acceptable.
~Take the Lord with you, everywhere you go.
I highlight words in these songs not to point out negatives, but to point out things I have said to myself over the past few weeks in trying to make some decisions. It think God decided that if I wasn't going to listen that he would scream it at me last night through these songs. My heart sank. It was like being in that movie "Field of Dreams" and nobody could see the players......and here I sat wondering...."Am I the only one getting the message????" Okay.....He has my full attention!
We are not afraid, to follow where You lead,
Leaving what we know, for what we cannot see.
We are not afraid for we are not alone,
and so we'll go with You into the unknown.
We are not afraid to love the way You do,
to serve with the same grace we receive from You.
We are not afraid to look beyond ourselves,and offer hope to those who cannot help themselves.
We are not afraid though some say we should wait,
the cost is just too high, the danger is too great
We are not afraid to move when You say move,
Trusting in Your voice, We will follow You.
We will be fearless for You. Fearless for You.
We will be faithful in all that we do.
If we step out on the waves or walk through the flames
Whatever you ask us to do, we will be fearless for You.
~Anywhere with Jesus I can safely go. Anywhere He leads me in this world below
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not afraid.
~Anywhere with Jesus I am not alone.
~Anywhere with Jesus over land and sea, Telling souls in darkness of salvation free.
~READY AS HE SUMMONS ME TO GO OR STAY! ANYWHERE WITH JESUS WHEN HE POINTS THE WAY!
~I choose to be holy, set apart for You my Master, ready to do Your will. Lord, I'm ready to do your will.
~Give me the heart of a servant, tender and faith and true. Fill me with love, then use me O Lord, so that the world can see You.
~Mold me and shape me, do what you must do. To make me a servant, make me like You.
~Let me be a sacrifice, holy and acceptable.
~Take the Lord with you, everywhere you go.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Love is....
Today in class we talked about many things surrounding loving your mate and being in love with your mate.
Here are just some of my thoughts after class: (not the thoughts of Chad)
I met Chad March 5th, 1992. Coming up on 18 years ago! I remember the first time I ever saw him. I had more butterflies than I could count. I was at a loss for words. My heart was pounding as I walked up to the counter to ask him for a drink. But at that moment, it was love at first sight!
I think the first time I can remember feeling "in love" was about 30 days into the "dating" portion of our relationship. That feeling continued for....oh....I can't tell you how long! But I realized at about 6 months or so that I truly loved this man and I didn't ever want to be without him. That's a different love. (but was still in love) ....I feel like I'm in a riddle! :o)
Many years went by.....8 to be exact.....and the "in love" was gone. Love was still there, but "in love" was being taken over by the love I was giving to the kids. They had all my butterflies and we were all flying together. It was a very very bad time for our marriage. But I knew this.....that I loved Chad with everything that I had. Even though it wasn't much....and I didn't have much love to give.....I still loved him.
Now, at year 15...coming up on 16 in April.....I am more "IN LOVE" with him than I have ever been. He walks in the room, and my heart skips a beat! Those same feelings I had 18 years ago, are back again. He is still as much my boyfriend, as he is my husband. I love to be with him. I love to date him. I love it when he calls me. I love it when he takes me out. I love his surprises. I just love him!
This morning at church, he was learning how to run the sound board and I had to try hard to not look up at him. I didn't want anyone to catch me looking at my boyfriend and see him looking at me. Is he a distraction??? Sometimes, but I can handle it. He's the love of my life. He is my soul mate. We'll be together until God brings us home.
When we were younger, Chad's love language to receive was physical touch. Okay really....it's probably that for most young men early in the relationship. I couldn't stand that because all I ever had was touch from the kids for so many years. By the time Chad came home, I was done. Hugs and kisses were already gone. But his love language TO me was gift giving. He is the biggest giver I know. He thinks of everyone else first....me included. But that wasn't me.I didn't like gifts. I am a saver of money and don't need a lot of things. I wanted quality time, and acts of service. I would love it if he cleaned out my car, or went to the store for me, or just sat with me and did nothing.
But today.....we have switched!
My love language to receive is Physical Touch. My kids are growing up and I miss the hugs and kisses I used to get from them. Just a simple hug from him....or from family...or friends means so much to me. But from Chad, it makes up for all those years that I couldn't give him his need.
My other would be words of affirmation. I need this for a lot of the same reasons as above. I want to hear the words "I love you" "You're special" "You did a good job" etc. Those mean a lot to me and I am fortunate that Chad is one of those guys that I don't ever have to ask. Sometimes, it's overkill....but that's okay! :o)
If I could have 3 I would definitely say quality time is a must. We DVR things and watch them together each night when the kids go to bed and I just love that time with him. Or if I just have to run to the store, he goes with me so it can be just us. I love that!
I left with a realization today that more than ever, I love him so much. I'm very fortunate that he has put up with me for all these years. I screw up as a wife all the time.....and I screw up big! But no matter what, he is always very forgiving and loves me unconditionally.
We may be totally opposite......I like Acappella....He likes AC/DC....but I think that God had and still has an amazing plan for us. One that I can't even comprehend. But I'm excited for the journey he is taking us on. I love it.
One day....I want to marry him all over again and get look into his eyes and say....well....I'm not sure what I'd say.....but I'm sure it would include the most 3 beautiful words I could ever hear.
Here are just some of my thoughts after class: (not the thoughts of Chad)
I met Chad March 5th, 1992. Coming up on 18 years ago! I remember the first time I ever saw him. I had more butterflies than I could count. I was at a loss for words. My heart was pounding as I walked up to the counter to ask him for a drink. But at that moment, it was love at first sight!
I think the first time I can remember feeling "in love" was about 30 days into the "dating" portion of our relationship. That feeling continued for....oh....I can't tell you how long! But I realized at about 6 months or so that I truly loved this man and I didn't ever want to be without him. That's a different love. (but was still in love) ....I feel like I'm in a riddle! :o)
Many years went by.....8 to be exact.....and the "in love" was gone. Love was still there, but "in love" was being taken over by the love I was giving to the kids. They had all my butterflies and we were all flying together. It was a very very bad time for our marriage. But I knew this.....that I loved Chad with everything that I had. Even though it wasn't much....and I didn't have much love to give.....I still loved him.
Now, at year 15...coming up on 16 in April.....I am more "IN LOVE" with him than I have ever been. He walks in the room, and my heart skips a beat! Those same feelings I had 18 years ago, are back again. He is still as much my boyfriend, as he is my husband. I love to be with him. I love to date him. I love it when he calls me. I love it when he takes me out. I love his surprises. I just love him!
This morning at church, he was learning how to run the sound board and I had to try hard to not look up at him. I didn't want anyone to catch me looking at my boyfriend and see him looking at me. Is he a distraction??? Sometimes, but I can handle it. He's the love of my life. He is my soul mate. We'll be together until God brings us home.
When we were younger, Chad's love language to receive was physical touch. Okay really....it's probably that for most young men early in the relationship. I couldn't stand that because all I ever had was touch from the kids for so many years. By the time Chad came home, I was done. Hugs and kisses were already gone. But his love language TO me was gift giving. He is the biggest giver I know. He thinks of everyone else first....me included. But that wasn't me.I didn't like gifts. I am a saver of money and don't need a lot of things. I wanted quality time, and acts of service. I would love it if he cleaned out my car, or went to the store for me, or just sat with me and did nothing.
But today.....we have switched!
My love language to receive is Physical Touch. My kids are growing up and I miss the hugs and kisses I used to get from them. Just a simple hug from him....or from family...or friends means so much to me. But from Chad, it makes up for all those years that I couldn't give him his need.
My other would be words of affirmation. I need this for a lot of the same reasons as above. I want to hear the words "I love you" "You're special" "You did a good job" etc. Those mean a lot to me and I am fortunate that Chad is one of those guys that I don't ever have to ask. Sometimes, it's overkill....but that's okay! :o)
If I could have 3 I would definitely say quality time is a must. We DVR things and watch them together each night when the kids go to bed and I just love that time with him. Or if I just have to run to the store, he goes with me so it can be just us. I love that!
I left with a realization today that more than ever, I love him so much. I'm very fortunate that he has put up with me for all these years. I screw up as a wife all the time.....and I screw up big! But no matter what, he is always very forgiving and loves me unconditionally.
We may be totally opposite......I like Acappella....He likes AC/DC....but I think that God had and still has an amazing plan for us. One that I can't even comprehend. But I'm excited for the journey he is taking us on. I love it.
One day....I want to marry him all over again and get look into his eyes and say....well....I'm not sure what I'd say.....but I'm sure it would include the most 3 beautiful words I could ever hear.
Weird..good or bad.
Since I've been back at work I've heard several times "you're just weird"
Now...I know they are saying this in a joking manner, but after about the 20th time I heard it yesterday, it started to rub me the wrong way. Insecurity set in, I started doubting who I was, and I just wondered what would I have to do to be considered "Normal"
Webester defines weird as
1. involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2. fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
3. Archaic. concerned with or controlling fate or destiny
I'm not real sure if I fit any of those descriptions and I'm not sure they meant it like that either.
By my co-workers definitions, I'm weird becuase I don't drink, I don't go out to party, I don't cuss, I say poop or poot instead of using other words that I particularly don't want to hear myself. I'm weird because I have a husband that wants to shower me with gifts and I don't like that. I'm weird because I don't want him to take me out to a meal that cost over $100.00. I'm weird because I defend others when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird because I refuse to work on Sunday's and Wednesday's unless there is an emergency. I'm weird because I make random conversations that make others laugh. I'm weird becuause I like to have a converstaion with each of my patients instead of treat'em and street'em and I was told yesterday that I am weird because I actually care about things.
Wow! Okay, that doesn't quite sound like the definition I just read.
I'm constantly an open target for people and most of the time I find that others don't take me seriously. However, my bosses take me very seriously and love having me around.
So, do I change? Well, I think I did that for a point of my life where I changed to please others, and I was miserable. I love being happy and I love my life and I love who I am. Why sit around a table and gossip and talk bad about others? Why use words that aren't pleasing to God and especially to others around me? Why would I want to be anyone different that who God wants me to be?
I don't really have a word to describe myself best but I don't think I would choose weird.
Now...I know they are saying this in a joking manner, but after about the 20th time I heard it yesterday, it started to rub me the wrong way. Insecurity set in, I started doubting who I was, and I just wondered what would I have to do to be considered "Normal"
Webester defines weird as
1. involving or suggesting the supernatural; unearthly or uncanny: a weird sound; weird lights.
2. fantastic; bizarre: a weird getup.
3. Archaic. concerned with or controlling fate or destiny
I'm not real sure if I fit any of those descriptions and I'm not sure they meant it like that either.
By my co-workers definitions, I'm weird becuase I don't drink, I don't go out to party, I don't cuss, I say poop or poot instead of using other words that I particularly don't want to hear myself. I'm weird because I have a husband that wants to shower me with gifts and I don't like that. I'm weird because I don't want him to take me out to a meal that cost over $100.00. I'm weird because I defend others when they can't defend themselves. I'm weird because I refuse to work on Sunday's and Wednesday's unless there is an emergency. I'm weird because I make random conversations that make others laugh. I'm weird becuause I like to have a converstaion with each of my patients instead of treat'em and street'em and I was told yesterday that I am weird because I actually care about things.
Wow! Okay, that doesn't quite sound like the definition I just read.
I'm constantly an open target for people and most of the time I find that others don't take me seriously. However, my bosses take me very seriously and love having me around.
So, do I change? Well, I think I did that for a point of my life where I changed to please others, and I was miserable. I love being happy and I love my life and I love who I am. Why sit around a table and gossip and talk bad about others? Why use words that aren't pleasing to God and especially to others around me? Why would I want to be anyone different that who God wants me to be?
I don't really have a word to describe myself best but I don't think I would choose weird.
Thursday, January 07, 2010
Inside Out
"In the heart me there's a mystery,
in my weakness there is still,
a goodness not my own,
it comes from God alone,
and I can not be sure until.
You turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see that it's Christ in me,
Lord, turn me inside out, turn me inside out.
What my pride conceals,
Lord your truth reveals,
and your grace is seen somehow.
There is mercy when,
in spite of who I've been.
Your glory dwells within me now.
So turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see, that it's Christ in me Lord,
turn me inside out, turn me inside out.
These may be lyrics to a Zoe Group song, but they just feel like so much more when I'm singing them. It hits to the depths of my heart. That's how I know God is trying to speak to me.
When my heart sings this I hear it as such a prayer. One that I have prayed over and over.
In Luke 11 it is very clearly stated to the foolish people that our God is the one that made us on the inside as well as the outside. But, being the earthly people that we are or......sinners perhaps.....why wouldn't our prayer to God be to let others see what is really on the inside.
If you looked at the inside of someones body, (which I have) you would find that we are very complex. So much so it takes years and years of study and research to figure out things that didn't take God very long at all. When we were put here on earth, everything worked in us as God had planned. Some are born perfect. Some are born with sickness and some may develop things along the way. But again, it's all by design. It's God's plan.
I treat some of the most amazing people at work and I have to say, they have some pretty ugly lungs and organs. But when you break through that layer of sickness and find their true heart (turn them inside out) they are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.
I want to be that person. Young...old....sick....healthy....living....or dying....I want to be turned inside out so that others can see Christ in me. I don't want there to be any hypocrisy. I want what is on the inside of my heart to be seen on the outside as well. I want to be beautiful on the inside and outside so that in everything that I do, Christ is the center of my reflection.
I know what this looks like to me. Most days, I don't find it a big challenge. But somedays.....I feel Satan pulling me and that is when I know....if I screw up, I am loved and covered by His mercy and grace.
My prayer today is that others will see Him and that I will live a life that is "Inside Out"
in my weakness there is still,
a goodness not my own,
it comes from God alone,
and I can not be sure until.
You turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see that it's Christ in me,
Lord, turn me inside out, turn me inside out.
What my pride conceals,
Lord your truth reveals,
and your grace is seen somehow.
There is mercy when,
in spite of who I've been.
Your glory dwells within me now.
So turn me inside out, so that I can be,
a reflection of the one who made me.
So the world can see, that it's Christ in me Lord,
turn me inside out, turn me inside out.
These may be lyrics to a Zoe Group song, but they just feel like so much more when I'm singing them. It hits to the depths of my heart. That's how I know God is trying to speak to me.
When my heart sings this I hear it as such a prayer. One that I have prayed over and over.
In Luke 11 it is very clearly stated to the foolish people that our God is the one that made us on the inside as well as the outside. But, being the earthly people that we are or......sinners perhaps.....why wouldn't our prayer to God be to let others see what is really on the inside.
If you looked at the inside of someones body, (which I have) you would find that we are very complex. So much so it takes years and years of study and research to figure out things that didn't take God very long at all. When we were put here on earth, everything worked in us as God had planned. Some are born perfect. Some are born with sickness and some may develop things along the way. But again, it's all by design. It's God's plan.
I treat some of the most amazing people at work and I have to say, they have some pretty ugly lungs and organs. But when you break through that layer of sickness and find their true heart (turn them inside out) they are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met.
I want to be that person. Young...old....sick....healthy....living....or dying....I want to be turned inside out so that others can see Christ in me. I don't want there to be any hypocrisy. I want what is on the inside of my heart to be seen on the outside as well. I want to be beautiful on the inside and outside so that in everything that I do, Christ is the center of my reflection.
I know what this looks like to me. Most days, I don't find it a big challenge. But somedays.....I feel Satan pulling me and that is when I know....if I screw up, I am loved and covered by His mercy and grace.
My prayer today is that others will see Him and that I will live a life that is "Inside Out"
Monday, January 04, 2010
KPC's 2010
Kids Praise Chorus started yesterday for the 2010 season. Let's just say....they blew me away! They were ready to go and did very well. Praying every rehearsal is like yesterdays!
(Thank you Tammy for the beautiful blog)
(Thank you Tammy for the beautiful blog)
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Less is more!
Reading Terry's blog this morning inspired me to write about our Christmas experience this year.
Financially things have been really rough since I haven't been working. It's caused us to make some changes in places that we would normally splurge. Christmas is one of those.
I get that from my parents. Christmas morning we always woke with the most amazing amount of gifts under the tree. The sight was unbelievable. Even as I have grown up and had children of my own, they couldn't wait to go to Grandma's house to see just how many presents they managed to fit under the tree.
About 2 months ago we had talk with the kids and told them Christmas wasn't going to be what they were use to in the past. They are getting older, things they would like to have cost more, and we have been living only on one income. What I didn't know is that their grandparents had that same talk with them. My dad retired this year and now they only have one income. Christmas would be small.
Each day they watched as we put the presents under the tree. They each got 4 items. They did ask if there was going to be any more, and I simply said no....and there was no fuss.
Christmas morning comes around and they are excited. I can't tell you a Christmas where I have seen them more excited than this one. It was different. They were patient, kind, and wanted to drag out the gift giving process to last as long as possible. I was so proud of them as I didn't hear one complaint. I heard many Thank Yous and I love yous and saw lots of smiles.....but they never wanted for anything more. Emilie was so sweet and is such a giver. 2 days before Christmas she realized that Chad and I didn't have presents under the tree so she went in her room and started making ornaments, books, and all kinds of things that we could open that were hand made from her with love. It was priceless. Some of the best moments that morning was when we opened the gifts made from her. Christmas morning was good!!!
We proceeded to my parents where again, as adults, we had no presents to open and that was okay. But I loved the reaction of the kids and how they watched us enjoy their moments of opening presents. Normally they would have 10-20 big gifts to open. But Ian got only 1, Emilie got 3, and Lukus got 2....and they couldn't have been happier and more thankful. And you want to know what we did more of that day? They put the gifts down, and we all went sledding and enjoyed each others company! Does it get any better than that?
Society is so bogged down with the wants in life and we forget to focus on the things that we really need which is love, happiness, and just being together. I learned more this Christmas from just watching my kids. Although, they'll go back to school in a week and hear about the Ipod's and cell phones, and all the other accessories that kids got for Christmas and I hope they can share with their friends that what they had on Christmas morning and all during this break was quality time with their family and friends and there is no price you can put on something like that.
Financially things have been really rough since I haven't been working. It's caused us to make some changes in places that we would normally splurge. Christmas is one of those.
I get that from my parents. Christmas morning we always woke with the most amazing amount of gifts under the tree. The sight was unbelievable. Even as I have grown up and had children of my own, they couldn't wait to go to Grandma's house to see just how many presents they managed to fit under the tree.
About 2 months ago we had talk with the kids and told them Christmas wasn't going to be what they were use to in the past. They are getting older, things they would like to have cost more, and we have been living only on one income. What I didn't know is that their grandparents had that same talk with them. My dad retired this year and now they only have one income. Christmas would be small.
Each day they watched as we put the presents under the tree. They each got 4 items. They did ask if there was going to be any more, and I simply said no....and there was no fuss.
Christmas morning comes around and they are excited. I can't tell you a Christmas where I have seen them more excited than this one. It was different. They were patient, kind, and wanted to drag out the gift giving process to last as long as possible. I was so proud of them as I didn't hear one complaint. I heard many Thank Yous and I love yous and saw lots of smiles.....but they never wanted for anything more. Emilie was so sweet and is such a giver. 2 days before Christmas she realized that Chad and I didn't have presents under the tree so she went in her room and started making ornaments, books, and all kinds of things that we could open that were hand made from her with love. It was priceless. Some of the best moments that morning was when we opened the gifts made from her. Christmas morning was good!!!
We proceeded to my parents where again, as adults, we had no presents to open and that was okay. But I loved the reaction of the kids and how they watched us enjoy their moments of opening presents. Normally they would have 10-20 big gifts to open. But Ian got only 1, Emilie got 3, and Lukus got 2....and they couldn't have been happier and more thankful. And you want to know what we did more of that day? They put the gifts down, and we all went sledding and enjoyed each others company! Does it get any better than that?
Society is so bogged down with the wants in life and we forget to focus on the things that we really need which is love, happiness, and just being together. I learned more this Christmas from just watching my kids. Although, they'll go back to school in a week and hear about the Ipod's and cell phones, and all the other accessories that kids got for Christmas and I hope they can share with their friends that what they had on Christmas morning and all during this break was quality time with their family and friends and there is no price you can put on something like that.
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
Random Tuesday Stuff
I have now seen Christmas Vacation and can't believe how hard I laughed. I can't believe I have gone this long without seeing it.
I still have not seen The Grinch movie. Old or new.
Should I admit that I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life"???? (ducking for cover)
This is the first year that I have had every gift purchased and wrapped way before Christmas.
This is also the first year that we paid for our entire Christmas with cash! Thank you Dave Ramsey!
Today I waited on a phone call that never came.
The post office in Owasso is rarely ever busy and since that dude knocked down our mailbox....I have gotten to know the people there really well! We're on a first name basis now. :o)
I have come to the conclusion that I type too many typos when texting! You just never know what I am going to say! And neither do I!!!!!
I decided that it is better to give a gift card to someone instead of buying a really cheesy gift that they really can't use or don't want. After all....it's the thought that counts! But I will still spend HOURS looking and thinking of a person.............and then buy a gift card.
Believe it or not, I have ran out of "RED" clothes to wear this holiday season! I am reverting to the black wardrobe and will accessorize with RED! :o) Gotta make it work for 3 more days!
I still have not seen The Grinch movie. Old or new.
Should I admit that I have never seen "It's a Wonderful Life"???? (ducking for cover)
This is the first year that I have had every gift purchased and wrapped way before Christmas.
This is also the first year that we paid for our entire Christmas with cash! Thank you Dave Ramsey!
Today I waited on a phone call that never came.
The post office in Owasso is rarely ever busy and since that dude knocked down our mailbox....I have gotten to know the people there really well! We're on a first name basis now. :o)
I have come to the conclusion that I type too many typos when texting! You just never know what I am going to say! And neither do I!!!!!
I decided that it is better to give a gift card to someone instead of buying a really cheesy gift that they really can't use or don't want. After all....it's the thought that counts! But I will still spend HOURS looking and thinking of a person.............and then buy a gift card.
Believe it or not, I have ran out of "RED" clothes to wear this holiday season! I am reverting to the black wardrobe and will accessorize with RED! :o) Gotta make it work for 3 more days!
Monday, December 21, 2009
Oh! Another family Christmas! 2009
Well...another year and another famiy party has come and gone. As usuall, it was filled with many laughs!
Here you see my aunt and the bathtub back scratcher she got in the dirty santa game. Believe it or not....my mother stole that thing!!! But I think Jeff (her son) is more afraid he is going to be wacked with it for making a comment! :o)
Okay...I am NOT hitting my niece Asasha! I was actually hitting my brother for sticking his hand up there and making her mad!
Ah! The girls! Sarah, Yoana, Me, and Niki! We have fun!
Getting a picture like this takes so much effort. But out of the 25 we took (NOT KIDDING) this was the best we could do!
Now....boxing gloves may never be a good gift at our parties. You can see the adults have more fun than the kids.
So here is a very good reason why we can't take pictures together. This is where it started, and I can't believe after this laughing moment we could even compose ourselves for a serious moment. My brother always manages to crack me up....and then gets cracked up because I'm cracked up. As for our spouses....they just sit and wait. Yeah....good times.
It took several shots to get this picture as well. My mom, me and my aunt Cyndi.
Well.....we were trying again......it just wasn't working.
This is a gift you should NEVER give a child. She knew exactly what to do with it! Poor Chad!
Okay.....serious moment for mom!
Here you see my aunt and the bathtub back scratcher she got in the dirty santa game. Believe it or not....my mother stole that thing!!! But I think Jeff (her son) is more afraid he is going to be wacked with it for making a comment! :o)
Okay...I am NOT hitting my niece Asasha! I was actually hitting my brother for sticking his hand up there and making her mad!
Ah! The girls! Sarah, Yoana, Me, and Niki! We have fun!
Getting a picture like this takes so much effort. But out of the 25 we took (NOT KIDDING) this was the best we could do!
Now....boxing gloves may never be a good gift at our parties. You can see the adults have more fun than the kids.
So here is a very good reason why we can't take pictures together. This is where it started, and I can't believe after this laughing moment we could even compose ourselves for a serious moment. My brother always manages to crack me up....and then gets cracked up because I'm cracked up. As for our spouses....they just sit and wait. Yeah....good times.
It took several shots to get this picture as well. My mom, me and my aunt Cyndi.
Well.....we were trying again......it just wasn't working.
This is a gift you should NEVER give a child. She knew exactly what to do with it! Poor Chad!
Okay.....serious moment for mom!
Merry Christmas!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
To Know You
These words are from a Casting Crowns song. Each line of this song is one I could mediate on for quite a while. It says so much
To know you is never worry for my life, and
To know you is to never to give in or compromise
To know you is to want to tell the world about you
Cause I can't live without you
To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted
Cause they can't live with out you.
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to ache for more than ordinary
To know you is to look beyond the temporary
To know you is believing that you will be enough
Cause there is no life without you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
All this life could offer me, could not compare to you
Compare to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
Compared to you
Compared to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
To know you is never worry for my life, and
To know you is to never to give in or compromise
To know you is to want to tell the world about you
Cause I can't live without you
To know you is to hear your voice when you are calling
To know you is to catch my brother when he is falling
To know you is to feel the pain of the broken hearted
Cause they can't live with out you.
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to ache for more than ordinary
To know you is to look beyond the temporary
To know you is believing that you will be enough
Cause there is no life without you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
All this life could offer me, could not compare to you
Compare to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
More than my next breath
More than life or death
All reaching for, I live my life to know you more
I leave it all behind, you are all that satisfies
To know you is to want to know you more
To know you is to want to know you more
Compared to you
Compared to you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
And I count it all as lost, compared to knowing you
Knowing you
Wednesday, December 16, 2009
I Will Rise
Sometimes a song hits you in a way that you never expected. I've heard this song at least a dozen times and often sing along. For some reason today, it pierced my heart. I have meditated on these words all day. Each line. Every word. Every note. Every emotion.
The song needs no pictures. When I close my eyes....God paints the picture for me.
The song needs no pictures. When I close my eyes....God paints the picture for me.
Friday, December 11, 2009
Another down....and one more to go!
I am very excited that I have completed another semester of my education. As of today I only have 147 days until I graduate. Of course then I will have the state board exams I will have to to get my license but other than that, It's really almost over. I tend to look at this glass as half empty! :o)
This has been a rough semester but when finally get to the end and you succeed, it is such a good feeling. I had to work hard for it, and in the end it paid off.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” – Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)
This has been a rough semester but when finally get to the end and you succeed, it is such a good feeling. I had to work hard for it, and in the end it paid off.
“Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.” – Romans 5:1-5 (NIV)
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
A Family Tradition
Tonight we went to the annual lights on ceremony at Rhema Bible College. It is so much fun to be there when they count down and flip the switch. It's amazing how dark it is and then with one switch, it feels like daylight. The music was a highlight this year as the lights were moving to the beat. The kids loved that. Walking through the tunnel of lights! 
The Family Pic of course! 
Here's a video for you to enjoy...but you have to turn up the sound and ignore the baby crying.
The Family Pic of course! 
Here's a video for you to enjoy...but you have to turn up the sound and ignore the baby crying.
A New Life
Ian was baptized in October. I couldn't be more proud of him for making the decision to give his life to Christ. This is a very happy moment for us but moreso for him. Very proud of the man he is becoming.
Emilie's 4th grade program
Emilie's 4th grade program this year was a tribute to Veteren's. The programs was very moving and there were many tears flowing in that room.
Emilie was the state of Washington in the songs of the 50 states.
Emilie was the state of Washington in the songs of the 50 states.
Emilie turns 10!
Emilie's birthday was so much fun. She had a sleepover and everyone had a great time.
If you ever wanted to watch TV that night....well...there was NO WAY. The kids dominated the Karaoke System. And let me just say....it was a blast. Even for the adults. (secretly, we have Karaoke when there are no kids around!)
She got many great gifts and had so much fun opening all of them.
All I can say is I love this little girl! And she's growing up fast!
If you ever wanted to watch TV that night....well...there was NO WAY. The kids dominated the Karaoke System. And let me just say....it was a blast. Even for the adults. (secretly, we have Karaoke when there are no kids around!)
She got many great gifts and had so much fun opening all of them.
All I can say is I love this little girl! And she's growing up fast!
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