Update

Update from yesterday....

All 3 of my kids have the flu!
Guess that means a week off school for them!

Do you have a best friend?

This was one of the questions that came up in a recent survey I had to take at work.

"Do you have a best friend at work?"

I was happy that I could answer that question yes. But most of the time, it's not hard for me to make friends. I usually like everyone I meet and the more I get to know them, the more I truly just love them.

This question can pertain to so many different areas of life.
Do you have a best friend at work, school, home, the club, etc?

What makes a person a "best" friend? Are they the person that tells you anything and can trust you with that info? Are they the person that will hold you accountable even though you know it may hurt someday? Are they the person that will stand beside you or even stand up for you in a time of need?

I think in my lifetime, I've always had a "best" friend. It's not always the same person as people come and go throughout your lifetime.

What about teens and youth groups?
I remember my best friend growing up was someone I knew from church. This was a good thing. I know if I had hung out with the kids from school, I would not be where I am today. I had a friend that would hold me accountable for the things I said and did and she would remind me of what was right.

But right now, I see that some kids just don't like church. Why? Is it because they don't have that best friend? Someone who accepts them no matter who they are or how they act?
What do kids have in common right now? If they are happy, they are happy together. If they are mad...they are mad together.
I've noticed that children mimic the behaviors of their parents. If their parents don't like church, neither do they. If the parents don't like the youth minister, then the kids don't either.
What messages are we sending our kids today by our own unacceptable behaviors.
It seems we try so hard to get our kids to act the right way, and then there are parents who go and act just like children. How confusing right?

I remember the days when I went to summer camp with 250+ teens from Church of Christ across the state. I can tell you it was the BEST summer of my life. Especially for my freshman year. That summer shaped the course of my actions until I was a senior.
Why? Because it was at that time that I knew I could have best friends within the church. And it had nothing to do with my home congregation, other denominations, or anything else. I simply knew that from here to Chickasha, Oklahoma, I would have friends that I could count on.

I love having great friends from other congregations. I think it is the coolest thing that I can pick up the phone and know that I have friends from all over that enjoy talking.
I think kids need that too. I know our youth participate in the area wide "Night of Praise" and I think that is the coolest. We need more interaction for these kids now days.

I don't have a teen in any youth group, but next year I will and I'm worried for him. He's never had a best friend yet and he's 11!

I have a saying that I like to use often: "Don't complain about something unless you have a solution to fix it"

I have lots of ideas, maybe not solutions, but it all starts with a best friend.

When God is your ultimate best friend, you win!
When you have a Godly best friend, you win!
Everything else is just what you make it after that.
What will we do with this time that is left?

I don't know how or when but when I leave this earth, I want to make sure I've made a difference. I want others to know how hard I tried. I want to leave a legacy that others remember me by the good that I did, and the failures that I overcame.
I want to be able to make a difference in someones life. In the life of the old and in the life of the young.
I want to be able to have other's say "She was my best friend"

Work with sick, home with sick!

If I'm not working with the sick, I'm taking care of them at home.
All 3 of my kids are sick today with what we like to call "The crud"

I will be asking for that family special today at the doctors office! I'm not sure that works, but when you bring all 3 in at once, I think there should be some perks!

My weekend was fabulous this weekend. It was busy, but I was very productive in my work and that always makes me feel good. Last night the view of the sunset from the 5th floor was just beautiful. The sky was a beautiful shade of red, pink, and orange and was just glowing! I'm not a fan of the orange, but God does have a beautiful sense of humor. ;o)

This morning our house guest left. I guess I can officially talk about it now. Sean Algaier has been hired as the Youth/Worship minster at Jenks church. We are so excited to have our friends moving to town. It's been fun having him around the house this week so we'll miss him while he's gone for the next week or so. But we are counting the days until he returns and gets settled in.

Getting High!

What makes you high? Do you just ever go and get high?

I love to get high! Just like I did last night!
Praising God of course.

Getting high on God is one of the greatest experiences I can have. I love to fill the spirit move. I love to know that when I'm praising...God is praising right along with me.

Those are the times that I don't worry about how I look, or how I sound, or what others are thinking. But mostly, how God feels about what I am doing and is He smiling at me, singing with me, dancing with me, or rejoicing with me.
I'm missed a lot of church this month....I'll blame it totally on all my teachers and these overwhelming amount of test!!! But last night getting together with my small group and just singing was one the the best highs I've needed for a while. I couldn't go to sleep unitl 1:00am! I was so energized!

The good thing is, I'm not exhausted today and I think that is because God filled me with His spirit! Only one that can make me opperate on this small amount of sleep.

My morning didn't start off great today...but that's okay. I think that God prepared me last night for what I had to face today...and you know...I did it very well!

I'm smiling at me today! And so is God! Could my day get any better?

Which kind are you?

I love it when the sun comes out. It is just so beautiful today. It makes me feel so good about everything. Even when things aren't going right, when the sun comes out, it all just feels good.

I had to laugh this morning at Emilie. She has taken up Chad's cleaning habits.

I wonder if any other marriages are like this?

I am the "Picker-upper". I look at something and say..."Not big deal, it's just kids clutter"

Chad looks at it and says...."THE HOUSE IS TRASHED!"

It's nothing that I don't feel I can accomplish in about 30 minutes.

But when it comes to really cleaning, Chad is the "SPRING CLEANER"

If we both think we need to clean the house, I do my 30 minute routine and pick things up and 3 days later, Chad is still scrubbing tile!!

So last night, we were cleaning for some company coming to stay for the week. Emilie asked me how she can help. I said "Just pick up some stuff and put it away"

No big deal right?

This morning, Emilie woke up still scrubbing everything around the house and said
"Mom..I just can't get it clean enough. I want it to look pretty"

Wonder how I can make my boys like this? Is it even possible?

Thoughts......

This is been an unusually rough week. I'm a strong girl in my faith so I think I can handle a little roughness around the edges.

I feel I have some very important decisions to make over the next few weeks regarding my future. I really need to consult God on these and find out just where He wants me to be.

This week I have been shaken, stirred, frightened, and felt dispair about Ian. I don't know where to turn. I am tired and I am weak.
But I found hope in these words:
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

I ask on numerous occassions "God why did you give me this child?"
It feels more like an assignement I am failing. Will I be graded in the end? I'm not cut out for this.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I may have to take some time off school and devote more time to my family. Choices!

Have you ever tried uncensored writing? I'll give it a shot.

My passion is failing
My eyes are heavy
My strength is gone
My hope is diminished
Today is just another day and tomorrow will start anew.
A Fresh start
A new sun will arise in the morning...as will I.
I will get a hug today, from the one that I just can't send away.
My heart hurts for him. My heart hurts for me.
Where is my rainbow? Where is my sunshine? These thoughts are selfish.
It's not about me.
This is not me. I've lost me. Where am I?
Thoughts a mom should never have. Cries a mother should never have.
Where did it all go?
Did I make a mistake? Have I lost the past 3 years?
I will not be sad anymore. Pain and sadness will not win.
God will win. He gives me strength I didn't know I had. He dries my eyes.
I must make a decision. The future....not sure what to do.
I am not superwoman nor do I have superpowers.
I am just tired. Pray.

The new look

Okay...it's not too differrent, but my hair is now BLACK!

Portable Sounds

An Ocean Size Love!!!

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He felt important!

Saturday proved to be yet another weekend of hard work. I was happy that when I went to work yesterday, things had setteled down a bit. The most exhausting part is when you are holding up a wife or a husband when they are having to let their family memeber to got God. It doesn't hit you about 24 hours and then it's all at once. It was also nice to see a fimilar face in the crowd. Aaron Henley was seeing patients yesterday and stopped me to say hello.

But one exciting thing did happen....I got a DOZEN beautiful roses delivered to work. I was so excited to see the pink and peach roses mixed together in the most beautiful vase. Oh, and did I mention, they came from my wonderful husband? I feel so lucky that he married me. I get teased at work a lot that I'm treated like a princess. I'm just glad we can have fun and joke together. All I wanted was a 25 cent refill and I got a husband. I guess I can't complain.

Chad feels much better today and is back at work. I was excited to hear he went to church yesterday.
Ian woke up to tell me this morning how excited he was. He got to serve communion and he said "I felt so important"!!!

It's amazing how little things in the kingdom can feel like such big things. All Ian wants to do is feel important, and whoever let him serve, gave him just what he needed. That's what family and community is about. And I love that.

Again....Husbands should not stay at home sick! This is what my husband is watching!

Things Husbands SHOULD NOT SAY!!!

Chad is missing ANOTHER day of work today!!! He is really sick! If he's not better by this afternoon...we'll be making a trip to the ER. Pray for him!

BUT!!!!

Even in his state of illness...he comes up with the most odd things to say to me.

We're sitting here watching the best of the 80's vidos and here appears Boy George.

And Chad very seriously says:

"Hey...you're hair use to look just like that"

Again....things husbands should not say to their wives.

Oldies but goodies!!!

Today I will talk about my favorite class at school because quite frankly...the real classes just stress me out! I'm all about the electives!

So I opted to take vocal music this semester for 3 reasons:

1: I needed an elective

2: I needed an easy A

3: My other option was bowling.

I really wanted to take this class to learn to sing better. I LOVE to sing and it fills my heart with so much joy. However, I'm not that great at so you won't be seeing me ever show up on American Idol. (Oh..and then they have that whole age limit thing)

So I about died laughing yesterday during class when the instructor says:

"Today we're going to learn a new song."

I'm thinking YAY!!!! I love learning new songs...especially after we have sang the other 5 about 100 times over and over.

So here we go...I'm all excited....and ready to sing and she says:

"Turn to the song 'Our Love is Here to Stay...by George & Ira Gershwin"

WHAT????

I've never heard this song. I think she can tell by the look on my face. But can I say this.....

I am the oldest person in this class. Just remember that!

Next she says:

"Can you tell me when this song was written?"

Oh Yeah!!! I'm all about that! Uh huh!!! 1938!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!

I've experienced this even with Shane during praise team. He'll look around and ask..."Ya'll know this song" and everyone says "Yes" and here is me.....little ol' me....laughing to myself and saying "Nope" and then I look down! Well of course...it was written in the 1800's.

So not only at church, I'm getting this kind of humor at school now.
Guess I'll go study up on my Gershwin now!

Mommy said..."Don't be like me"

Yesterday I was going through Emilie's papers from school. She had some absolutely perfect papers and I was so proud of her. I complimented her on her progress and she said..."Oh be quiet mamma".
I was a bit shocked to hear her say these words as it is not something that normally comes from her. She wasn't saying it to be rude, but rather than she did not want to hear the compliment.
SOOOO...later on, I was fixing her hair and told her how beautiful she was and she responds with..."Stop saying that mamma....I'm not pretty". Again...I was shocked.

Children certainly live what they learn. For the longest time, this is something I struggeled with. Self esteem! I'm not saying I still don't, but I've gotten much better and receiving compliments and praises than I use to. Now I've learned to say "Thank You" and appreicate the love and support from others.

It's amazing to think of all the times I didn't receive it from others. Does that mean that when God is trying to compliment me that I'm not listening or recieiving his praises?

I think we have a God who loves us so much and wants us to feel good about ourselves no matter what the circumstances are. I don't think He wants us...as His chirldren....to look upon ourselves like Emilie was. I think He wants us to see the beauty in what he created us to be.

One down....

One down and one more to go this week....TEST that is. Whew! At least tomorrow I get to use notes on the test.
You ever have those moments where you just don't think you can fit anymore information in your small little brain? ;o)

I was so excited this morning as I woke up early and watched the sunrise. That is something I love to do.

One of my best sunrise stories is this:
I took a group of about 60 laides to a lake for a weekend retreat. About 10:00 that night before we dismissed for the evening, I told them that they needed to be on the hill...lakeside...at 5:15am. I could tell I wasn't getting good reactions from them at this point...but I had a plan.
It was really cold outside so I told them to dress warm and bring blankets. I was the first one down and I just sat in the dark as the sky was just getting ready to turn pink. I had brought a CD player with some of my favorite worship music that just tugged on my heart. So I sat..and just started to sing with the music. After about the thrid song I could hear others singing behind me as the women gathered around. It was a great feeling to know I was surrounded by my sisters in Christ. Just as the sun peaked over the hillside and began to reflect off of the lake...I passed communion back behind me hoping the others would join in breaking the bread with me. By the time we were finished, the sun was fully up, we were standing on the hillside rejoicing in song together. It was such a memorable experience for me.

Everytime I see a sunrise I remember that moment like it was yesterday.

I'm growing weary....again.

Boy...I think it goes in cycles! I'm not old enough for a midlife crisis or anything.

Work is becoming more challanging each week. I can tell you that I have job security. As long as there are guns, kinves, cars, and well, just about anyone breathing...I have a pretty stable job.
Some weeks are slow, others are like this weekend and just kick my tail. I know this when I get up on Monday morning and it's hard to move my legs! ;o) Oh the cramps and soreness! Yikes. I've been told if I strectch before I go to work, it won't be so bad...however, at 4am...stretching is the last thing I have on my mind while getting ready for work.

The weary-ness comes in from missing friends and family. Our family had another birthday party to celebrate this weekend and again, I was unable to attend. I could have gone at the end just for a short visit but I was so tired, I had to come home and crash. I miss getting to spend time with my family.

I miss church terribly. I miss it even moreso since Chad won't go without me. This is not creating a good life for my children. I understand his reasoning. I just don't think it's good for my kids NOT to go to church. I don't think it's good for HIM not to go to church. And even for that, I don't think it's good for me to not be going. July is my one year date for this agreeement at the hospital. I haven't figured out how it is going to work when I ask off for Sunday's. Just looks like I'm not going to be able to do that and that is also discouraging. I love that everyone I work with is a christian and it makes it so much easier to be at work each week. They have become my family but can never replace my church family.

This week will be rough. I have two exams back to back Tuesday and Wednesday so I have my nose in a book for the rest of the day now. (On top of going to classes)
And you know....this will get worse before it gets any better. I don't have to like it, but I'm guess I'm just okay with it.