The first of many....

BLACK EYES! Word to the wise....wear a helmet when you ride your scooter in the street! Or you may kiss the pavement!

The act of....

Forgivness.....

It's a hard thing. I think it's one thing to fogive, but what does that really mean?

In my human mind, I forgive the best way I know how. Doesn't mean my heart doesn't hurt. Doesn't mean I still don't experience pain. I'm human.

When you forgive someone, to me...that means...you still love them. So then why is it so hard to still be in the same room?

Will that feeling ever go away? If I truly have forgiven, then why do I feel this way?

All I can say is Lord please, take control!

New Toys

I love getting new toys. Thanks to our friend Nancy in Dallas, she inspired me this weekend to go out and purchase this new toy. We've been wanting to cut back on our eating out....however....I don't have enough time to cook!!! When I do cook, things get wasted because the sit in the refrigerator too long. So here we go! I bought the Seal A Meal vacuum food storage system. I really am highly impressed with it. So...today I made a Salad. A BIG SALAD!!! So what do I do now??? I need to seal and save it. Let me tell you...this salad was big enough to feed 10 people. Now, it fits in one of our cereal bowls! This was a nice big puffy, fluffy salad!
Chad said he has the feeling he is going to come home and the entire refrigerator will be sealed up! He may be right!

Push Play then read....

What do you praise Him for each day? How do you proclaim it?
It's such an awesome feeling to know that there is a God that can hear my cries, my pleas, my heart, my whispers, my laughter, and my shouting!
Shout to the Lord is one of my favorite songs this year. It speaks of such passion....such heart...such power....such awesome praise to Him. It's a pretty amazing feeling when a song hits you so had that it leaves you gasping for air. This song is such a prayer and testment. If you stopped by here today, let this song be an encouragement in your heart as much as it is in my mine.


My Jesus, my Savior, Lord, there is none like You;
All of my days I want to praise the wonders of Your mighty love.
My comfort, my shelter, tower of refuge and strength;
Let ev'ry breath, all that I am, never cease to worship You.

Chorus
Shout to the Lord, all the earth, let us sing
Power and Majesty, praise to the King;
Mountains bow down and the seas will roar
At the sound of Your name.
I sing for joy at the work of your hands,
Forever I'll love You, forever I'll stand
Nothing compares to the promise I have in You.

Late nights, early mornings!

I have found myself working my fingers to the bone. Hitting deadlines, coming in just under the wire and staying up until all hours of the night. As I try to find time of peacful rest, I find myself waking up worried about what I did wrong, what I did right, did I leave anything out, and then I must get up. Average amount of sleep for me these days is 4 hours. I sit in a chair and rarely ever get up. Before I know it, today has turned into tomorrow. It's crazy I tell ya! ;o)

As I was rushing into school early this morning to hit the deadline, I thought to myself, what if we gave this kind of commitment to everything we did? Our family, our jobs, our friends, our lives, our God. Would we tire easily? Would we have enough of it to go around?

I find myself trying to prioritize my life and time and making room for the things that are important to me. Some things, I've had to give up. Some things, I've cut back on. Learning to say yes and learning to say no is something I have started doing well. And I don't feel bad either. It's starting to come naturally.

I think God has shown me just how much I can handle. Now it's up to me to decide what I will do with my time. Using it wisely and using it to His glory is all that matters.

For Tammy

She has the lyrics, I found the video. Such a precious song during a hard time.
Remembering JJ.

80's!!!

The 80's had really good music!!! Today....this song won't get out of my head. It wasn't my usual pick of 80's music.....but sometimes, words just hit home.

Conversations with Emilie

Emilie "Mom....did you HEAR what the TV just said?"

Me: "No...what?"

Emilie: "They said if we come right now, we will get a free car"

Me: "That's not how it works"

Emilie: "That's what they said"

Me: "How many people do you think would go there to get a free car?"

Emilie: "Thousands"

Me: "And do you think they are going to give each person a free car?"

Emilie: "No, but if we hurry and we are first in line, we'll get it"

Me: "I'm sorry honey,they just don't give away free cars"

Emilie: "Ummmmm....then that's not HONESTY!!!!"

Study Time....

Exam coming up.....

No time to blog!

Praising through the storm....

One group I really love is Casting Crowns. Today, I was listening to the radio...and a song I've heard over and over before came on. I've liked it before, but it really touches my heart right now in a way that is unexplainable.

"Praise You In This Storm"

I was sure by now
God You would have reached down
And wiped our tears away
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen", and it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear Your whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

And I'll praise You in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For You are who You are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in Your hand
You never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when
I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you
And you raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on
If I can't find You

But as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
And as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives
And takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The Maker of Heaven and Earth

Yes...He's speaking!

Monday's

Monday's are rough days. They are long and drawn out. It's easy to get frustrated with life by 5:00 on Monday's but sometimes we just have to roll with the punches and keep going.

I've been sick since Friday, but really, really, sick since Sunday afternoon. Seems that life and illness caught up with me and told me to slow down. It has a funny way of doing that. When you least expect it, it knocks you down.

My mother was the store this weekend with Ian. While they were there, Ian saw one of his teachers from school. Today, I got an e-mail that read "I saw Ian at the store with his Aunt...she looks just like you"
I couldn't wait to pay my mom that compliment. She loved it!

Life has been difficult lately, but I will not give up or give in. I just pick myself up and keep going. It's been an interesting ride. Life...is good.
*******************************************************************************
Give to every day
There will always be a reason to give up, and there will always be a reason to keep going. The question is, which reason will you choose to focus upon?
Your troubles will get the best of you if you give all your time and attention to them. But you always have another choice.

You can give your attention to the positive possibilities. You can choose to focus upon what's right with life.

There is something you can do in this very moment to create a little bit of positive value in your world. Though it may not seem like much, just one small positive action can have an enormous impact.

Even the smallest step has a clear and unmistakable direction. When you choose to take action, you choose to take control.

Don't allow your life to be defined by the difficulties that come your way. For beyond them all, you have something unique and beautiful to give to every day.

-- Ralph Marston

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes, how can I help you?


Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love.
Can you guide me through the process?
Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?


Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?


Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are Running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?


Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?


Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.


Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.


Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge Your Limitations.


Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.


Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.


Customer: Thank you, God.

Life and Challanges

Today is January 31st, 2008. I have to admit this has been the most challanging month I have had in a few years. I hurt, I struggle, I cry, I'm depressed, and still...I keep going. I go and act as if it is all okay. Silly me. That's just so silly. This is not the way I would have planned the new year to begin for me. I have a lot of heartache, rejection, fear, pain, emotions, at a time when I should be happy. Certainly this is my Father trying to clue me into something that I cannot see. Life will get better, or it may get worse. What can I do about it?
Today, nothing. My heart hurts way too much. What do I do when it hurts.....I smile and go on.
I am married to the most amazing man ever. He takes care of me no matter what my feelings are. I then hope he feels the same about me. What happens when we are both down? We do our best to take care of one another. After almost 14 years together, we've learned to do that pretty well.
One day....I'll be gone, he'll be gone...we'll all be gone. Would I look back on this month and regret? Probably not. Would I look back on this time and wish it had gone differently? Probably yes.
Today I read the daily motivator. I found it so fitting and so positive. Positive is what I need today and this little thing below said it perfectly.

Life returns the favor
When you encounter resistance, it means you are moving forward. When you come across a challenge, it means you have reached the point where you can successfully meet that challenge.
Life becomes more rewarding as it becomes more demanding. You are destined to achieve, and each successive achievement positions you for an even greater, more challenging achievement.

Each new challenge is an opportunity to stretch beyond your previous limits. Most of the advantages you enjoy today were born in the difficulties through which you traveled in days past.

Every day brings a new way for you to more fully give of yourself. It is by so giving, in ways that are familiar and in ways not yet imagined, that you create the life you most sincerely desire.

In everything there is treasure to be found. The richest treasures are those that ask the most of you, for they resonate wholly with your deepest purpose.

Delight in the living beauty of each challenging effort. Give your best to life and life returns the favor, a million times over.

-- Ralph Marston

Better hands....

Negativity

But if you cannot get the habit of observation one way or another, you had better give up the being a nurse for it is not your calling, however kind and anxious you may be. FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE

This was the quote we were given this week to spur us along. Pretty un-motivating huh?

Fortunately, I have a classmate who cared to send this later today!


'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'


'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a
catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some thin
gs back.'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'


'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'


'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

Test....and other test.

Tomorrow at 12:15 I will go in and take my first test of level one. I was not enouraged to hear that I may have to go through a "pat down" procedure before entering the exam. I think that's taking it a bit too far.

I don't know how to feel about tomorrow. I don't feel overlly stressed right now. I think it is because I have NO IDEA what these test are like or what is on them. I want to go in and do my best. I'm excited that I'm not anxious right now. I feel so relaxed that it's really scary. I pray tonight and tomorrow that God will help me work through the scenarios for each patient I read about and allow me to make good decisions for their care. I have faith that he will bring me through this.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
This afternoon was a weird one for me. Maybe because of the anticipation of the test tomorrow. My thoughts today haven't seemed really clear and my "inner dummy" just really beat me up. Sure that doesn't make sense to many, but makes great sense to me.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
How does one become truly "selfless"? Can you truly be "selfless" and still want for more? I struggle with this so much. How do I become truly selfless???

I give up so others can have more....
I do less so others can do more....

I don't feel sad about what I miss out on....but have a hard time when selflessness goes un-noticed. So then I say..."That's not true SELFLESSNESS!"

This is where Satan has such a grip on me. More like a choke hold and it catches me off guard.

If I am trusting in my Savior...he knows my intentions. All the other static that goes on in my head....that's cluttered by Satan.

Oh God! Please help me in my walk to stive to be more like you. To be more like you made me to be. To be selfless and not care how others feel. To not worry about going un-noticed. So many times, you were mocked, you were scorned, you were ignored, and you remained selfless. God please help me to be more of the image that you created me to be!

Tags and Links!

Okay...here's the deal with this! I got tagged (Thank you Vanessa)...but I have no idea how to put a link in my blog. So I will have to break the rules until I am educated on how to do this! (PS...somebody on here knows my password and I am sure by the time they read this...they will edit it enough to put the links in! ;o) --Okay! Okay! I get the hint! I fixed it for you! -T--

The Rules: Link to the person that tagged you and post the rules on your blog.
Share 5 random and/or weird facts about yourself on your blog, OR
Share the 5 top places on your “want to see or want to see again” list, OR
Share 5 things you never pictured being in your future when you were 25 years old.

Tag a minimum of 5, maximum of 10 random people at the end of your post and include links to their blogs. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog. The tagees have a choice of which they want to do.

As far as weird and random facts go, ya'll know all that stuff about me. Um...the 25 thing...yeah...Everything I'm doing is what I saw myself doing. So lets go with places.

#1. I would love to go out of the country. I have never been out of the United States.

#2. I would love to have a "do over" trip to California with my parents. Would really love to do anything with them again.

#3. I would like to go to Florida. No special reason. Just would like to see that side of the US.

#4. I would love to go to NY and see the Phantom of the Opera.

#5. I would love to go to Jersulem.

So....to tag 5 people.

Okay....Chad...because he doesn't blog and it's time to get something up there.
Chris...because I just need to know more random facts about you! hee hee
Robert...he travels everywhere!!!
And that's all I've got!

Terry vs. Jeff

I'm not really sure where this came from but seems like Terry has the lead!

2nd Week

The second week of Level One NS proved to be more challenging than I anticipated. All the stressors and worries of everything in life fell upon me this week. But I have survived.

Today when I went to the dentist, he accidentally hit a blood vessel in my face and made for an interesting afternoon for me. When looking in the mirror and trying to smile, I look more like Popeye that got in a bar fight.
(disclaimer: I've never been in a bar fight, BUT I'm sure this is how it feels)
I have discovered once again that Lortab is my friend!

We went shopping for wedding rings today. No...not getting married again, but since mine is falling apart after 13 years, I guess it's time to move on. I discovered that my taste has changed over the years. I have become more "simple" than I use to be. What Chad liked, I found very busy. I think he may have thought what I picked what boring. At least he doesn't think that about me!!!! ;o)

So I'm off to bed. Me and my drugs and my big face!!! Hopefully the swelling will be down by tomorrow.