Sunday, January 27, 2008

Test....and other test.

Tomorrow at 12:15 I will go in and take my first test of level one. I was not enouraged to hear that I may have to go through a "pat down" procedure before entering the exam. I think that's taking it a bit too far.

I don't know how to feel about tomorrow. I don't feel overlly stressed right now. I think it is because I have NO IDEA what these test are like or what is on them. I want to go in and do my best. I'm excited that I'm not anxious right now. I feel so relaxed that it's really scary. I pray tonight and tomorrow that God will help me work through the scenarios for each patient I read about and allow me to make good decisions for their care. I have faith that he will bring me through this.
This afternoon was a weird one for me. Maybe because of the anticipation of the test tomorrow. My thoughts today haven't seemed really clear and my "inner dummy" just really beat me up. Sure that doesn't make sense to many, but makes great sense to me.
How does one become truly "selfless"? Can you truly be "selfless" and still want for more? I struggle with this so much. How do I become truly selfless???

I give up so others can have more....
I do less so others can do more....

I don't feel sad about what I miss out on....but have a hard time when selflessness goes un-noticed. So then I say..."That's not true SELFLESSNESS!"

This is where Satan has such a grip on me. More like a choke hold and it catches me off guard.

If I am trusting in my Savior...he knows my intentions. All the other static that goes on in my head....that's cluttered by Satan.

Oh God! Please help me in my walk to stive to be more like you. To be more like you made me to be. To be selfless and not care how others feel. To not worry about going un-noticed. So many times, you were mocked, you were scorned, you were ignored, and you remained selfless. God please help me to be more of the image that you created me to be!


Terry Rush said...

You are smart, sharp, and most excellent! I root for you and...

...I love you today!

Anonymous said...

Sooooo, how'd the test go?????

Brenda said...

I passed it!