Tuesday, October 28, 2008

What's more important?

This is a question I find myself often asking. Let me give you some examples.

I find tardiness extremely rude. Weather to an event, to school, to work, to church, I find it disrespectful. I often ask "What was more important than getting there on time?" Sometimes, ceratin situation can't be helped and that is understandable.
I feel like if someone has put enough time and energy into preparing something or expecting you to be there, then that should be what is important.

Spending time with your spouse. Now this one I love. ;o) What's more important than couch time? Or talking? Or taking a few minutes out of your day to give a hug? I get bogged down so many times with things that I forget to give the other half the time and affection that is needed. And vice versa.

But last night....

The question was turned onto me! And it was an eye opener.

Lukus' football team made the playoffs. They have worked very hard all season to get to this point and I wouldn't miss it for the world. My 1 selfish night of the week is Thursday nights when I can go and worship with our praise team. And I don't have to be there every week, but it is somewhere I want to be every week. Except this one.
So Lukus gets in the car last night and says:
"Mom, are you coming to the game Thursday night?"
I said "Yes...why would you ask that?"
He said "Well, I know it's your praise team night, and you really enjoy it, but I need to know what is more important to you?"

OUCH and WOW all at once! The concepts I have been teaching my kids are sinking in...and even so much that they are using them on me. Way to go Lukus! And he is right. What he didn't know is that I was planning all along to go. Sure, there is part of me that will miss Thursday night with my small group and the time we share....but I don't ever want to have a missed opportunity in life with my kids because I was too selfish and made myself more important than them.

I hope everyone takes a moment today and figures out what is more important to them.


Linda L said...

Ouch, that one hit close to home! I try to be on time to events, but it doesn't always work out. Especially on Thurs nights. By the time Rick gets home, showers and eats we are running out the door at 6:20. You're exactly right about the time and effort someone has put into the meeting/activity I'm going to. I try to be more aware of that when I'm actively participating in a particular event. But, I'm not as good at it as I'd like to be.

Brenda said...

Oh Linda! I know! It's hard sometimes to get where we have to be at certain times. So know I am not pointing figers at anyone but myself and the decisions I make. My way of thinking is that I would rather not show up at all if I'm going to be late. It is just so embarassing to me. That is why I am ususally early to everything I do. And ususally, way too early.
I am just happy that my kids are catching on to the aspect of it. What they learn now will follow them later in life and if this is one of those disciplines that I can instill in them, that makes me smile.
And if that boy thinks for one moment that I would miss the big playoff game.....he is sadly mistaken! I wouldn't miss it for anything! Sometimes in life, there is only one opportunity and I don't want him to ever think there is soemthing more important than him. ;o) Love you!

Linda L said...

Rick and I always tried to put our kids' activities before anything else going on in our lives and they always knew they could count on us being there. Sometimes they would tell us "it's ok if you can't come" but they were always so happy to see us sitting there cheering them on (of course, I always had to be one of the loudest fans, much to their embarrassment, I'm sure). But you know, I think they really appreciated the fact that we took the time to come when we could've stayed home or been somewhere else, so it was very rare that at least one of us was not at an event. I really miss those times and it was very hard for me to adapt when they left home and quit playing in sports. I'm glad we were able to go see Evan at Spring Sing when he was at OC0. All that to say, good for you and cherish all the moments! I'll miss you tomorrow night ;D

Brenda said...

Linda, Thank you for sharing that! I think you need a blog ;O)

We too have always made sure that one of us is at every game and every practice. So it's not like he's ever really missed us. But I don't ever want him too either. I do want them to grow up and be independent and not rely on us, but I also want them to know that they are the most loved kids in the world and that I would give up anything for them. But by example, I also want them to learn how to take time for themselves when they need to get away or take a break. Even at the age they are right now, they have done a great job with that. I'm sure I'll be sad when this is all over. Lukus said he is no longer playing football after this. He's going back to soccer or gymnastics!

I....will be going to get a massage! ;o)

Shane Coffman said...

Linda...one of the loudest fans???

Linda L said...

Oh Shane, you've never heard my "soccer mom" voice! I can be quite annoying ;D I tried to tone it down when Rachel played volleyball but it was really hard!
Evan tried football one season, he ended up going back to soccer. I always felt soccer involved more skill; having to get the ball down the field with your feet, along with speed and coordination (I'll probably take a lot of flak for that comment). Anyway, I was a soccer mom for 12 years and I miss the fun and camaraderie of the game!

Brenda said...

Lukus said this is his first and last season of football. I'm kinda glad, but I'm kinda sad. I love the sport, but he just doesn't enjoy playing it as much as he did soccer. And I do agree Linda, Soccer take more skill than football. Skill and coordination. And he was excellent at that. So we will be going back to something he really liked and excelled at. I too am a yeller at games! Unless I'm really concentrating. But I told Lukus, "At least I'm NOT one of those moms with a COW BELL" and he said Thank Goodness! ;o) He's excited for soccer season to start again. But I would love him to try baseball sometime. If any of them ever want to figure skate, I'm out!

Linda L said...

I can honestly say I never had a cow bell. Ha! My kid would have probably died right there on the field! We sometimes brought duct tape to the game to see which one of us moms would need to use it. If the refs could have read our minds... We (the moms) had as much fun as our kids did, I think!