Thursday, October 02, 2008

Moving Mountains

In the past 3 months I have seen some of the worst parts of my life come to a head.

I have spent countless hours on my knees begging for help, and failing miserably.

Why does it feel like failing? Because I can't move on? Yes. When I experience pain in my life, I feel like there is a certain order of things that should happen. When I reach the point of being on my knees pouring my heart out to God, I think that everything should be okay and go away. That is not the case. What's really happening is I am expecting God to do it in Brenda time and not His time.

Timing is everything. Even when God created the world, it was all done on the basis of time....and he knew what to do next.

This weekend I am heading to Nashville with the Praise Team. However, I don't feel like I should go. I want to be there. I think God wants me to be there. I think there is something there for everyone of us that He wants to communicate to us. But when the going gets tough....I tend to run. And run in the opposite direction of what I really want. I have learned that is the wrong thing to do and can also lead to a path of destruction within yourself and among your friends and family.

When I got my new Zoe CD this week, I was really excited. But I had no idea how hard the lyrics of the songs were going to hit me. These are not songs that I have never heard before, but right now, they speak volumes to me.
"Mighty To Save"
Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Saviour;
The Hope of nations.

Saviour, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...Jesus

I'm ready for Him to move the mountain in my life so I can be the child He wants me to be. But I'm fearful of failing.

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