Friday, March 16, 2007

Encouraging myself...

Something I must do often is be an encouragement to myself. It sounds kinds of weird. Others encourage me all the time, but how often do I find myself being encouraging to me? Okay...that just sounds a little weird typing it.

Yesterday I received a much anticipated letter in the mail. I was chosen as an alternate to enter Level 1 nursing in the fall at school. This is a huge step now in my education. Basically...the last leg of it that takes 4 semesters and then I'm done.
I wasn't discouraged by the "alternate" because 95% of alternates get in.

But I didn't jump for joy either. I think I was more scared of where my life is about to go.
My schedule must be rearranged again....most of all, making it a lot more difficult to do the things I love the most. I will have to give up A LOT in order to make this work.

God gave up so much for me and yet, I fret about some of the sacrifices that I must make in my life. He gave up his son for me, and yet, the goals I am choosing to seek take me further away from the house of worship. A place where I can go, be among believers, and worship. I miss that....I need that.

God is so much in my heart. He is now as he will be in the future. Worship is where I make it. Worship is in my heart. Not sure I can ever imagine a day that goes by that I am not engaging in worship with my father.

Last night I was completely exhausted at praise team. We sang, and we sang, and we sang and we sang......and I could have sang some more. My heart was encouraged. I could do that all night long. Sometimes, I don't understand how others can't. I want every possible moment to be able to lift up the name of Jesus.

Shane brought up this song to me Wednesday. I had already heard it a hundred times over and over but every time it takes on a different meaning for me. I went to bed last night listening to it over and over and God just really speaks to me through it.

Sin and its ways grow old.
All of my heart turns to stone.
And I'm left with no strength to arise
How you need to be lifted high.

Sin and its way lead to pain
Left here with hurt and shame
So no longer will I leave your side
Jesus, you be lifted high.

You be lifted high
You be lifted high
You be lifted high in my life, Oh God.
And I fall to my knees so its you that they see, Not I.
Jesus you be lifted high.

And even now that I'm inside your hands
Help me not to grow prideful again
Don't let me forsake sacrifice
Jesus, you be lifted high

And if I'm blessed with the riches of kings
How could I ever think that it was me
For you brought me from darkness to light
Jesus, you be lifted high.

Oh Jesus, you be lifted high
You be lifted high
You be lifted high in my life, Oh God
And I fall my knees so it's you they see, Not I.
Jesus, you be lifted high.

1 comment:

Shane Coffman said...

I agree - that song is speaking a message to me right now, too.

Even without the, um, part I brought up to yOU...

You're a great worshipper, Brenda. Not only with your voice, but with your life and your words.