Thursday, September 14, 2006

Shut-in???

So I love Shane's definition of me..."The church's youngest shut-in"

I'm saying that with pride tonight as I just had the most awesome experience watching last Sunday's DVD. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! IT WAS AWESOME!!!!

I have felt so alone and so disconnected lately that this is exactly what I needed. And it's not
just the sermon on DVD...it's the whole thing.

When you are a strong part of something...after a while, you may take forgranted how much it really means to you in your heart until it's gone.

It was one thing for me to say in the past, "I'm a part of this or that ministry" and now....I don't get to participate in a whole lot of things. It's like a little kid being grounded from something they love so much. Sure...I made a choice and I'm happy with my choice. Doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt to not be as connected as I once was.

Communion is a big deal for me. If one knows me well enough, they know I'm a crier. Yep..I'll admit it...I can get pretty emotional and in my heart pretty quick. Tonight was even extra special (tearing up of course) as I even got to be part of that intimate moment with the chruch family via the TV. No...it's not the same...but I needed to see that on there and reflect in the same way here. It's been well over a month now since I've shared in the Lord's supper. I do sincerely miss it. It's not just a tray to pass along to the next person, it is a moment in my week that I miss with God. Tonight we sang "Come at the Lord's invitation...." and I know He invites me to spend those moments remembering him each week. I can create that myself....it's just not the same. I always looked forward to sharing the table with my brothers and sisters and that moment. It's one of those moments that are gone for a while.

I can't help but think of others from our church that face issues of the same sadness when they can't come to church. Having these DVD's is truly an inspiration. I now look forward to them each week.

I hope people realize what a great chruch family we have. Someone stopped to talk to me last night and expressed their thoughts of missing me. And in our conversation we talked about Praise Team. The one thing I admire about the folks on our team is this....

Never at any moment have they ever made me feel I'm am a lesser part of the team because I can't be there on Sunday's. Never have they made me feel like I was an outcast. Never have they excluded me from anything and all of those were my fears before doing this. I'm so proud to know the people I know. God's people. That's what they are. I couldn't ask for any better.

I'm so proud to be a part of this family that accepts me for who I am, what I am, what I'm going through, and willing to walk with me to where I'm going. It's an inspiration!!!!

4 comments:

Danna said...

Hey girl....You know I have thought and thought about your decision about school and this job that takes you away from weekly "corporate" worship. I have thought about how much I would miss being at church, seeing my friends, hearing Terry, etc. But I am ASHAMED to say, I never thought about not being able to participate in the Lord's Supper. After all, THAT is the whole reason we are there; the rest is just icing on the cake. Thank you for sharing. And thank you for blessing me today. :o)

Theresa said...

Love you, chica!

The Prophet said...

I saw you on Preacher's Blog. I'm from OK, too!

Good post. I've felt spiritually numb recently. It's not that I'm not doing my same daily disciplines (devotion, prayer) I just feel somewhat numb. Your post reminded me that God does want to spend time with me.

Take care!

The Prophet said...

Tried to reply to your email, but for some reason it kicked back to me.

I'm from Claremore, originally, but live in Ft Worth with my wife and daughter. What part of OK are you from?