Monday, August 28, 2006

Fear the Father...Fear your Father.

Why is it that we fear God but our children do not fear us? I know I know...it's not the same type of relationship but I noticed last night that Ian doesn't think we mean business when we say something. Maybe that's why we fear God so much because we do not want to suffer the consequences. Afterall, those seem much greater than being grounded just for the weekend.

So...last night I found a note in Ian's pocket from his teacher. As you can imagine, it wasn't a good note. I was so angry. Well, He now knows I mean business. No more playing around. It's over.

Today when he comes home he will have a nice surprise waiting for him. He has nothing in his room except 4 bare walls and a bed. Plus a few books of my choosing. I sent a calendar to school and the teacher will write on it either a happy face or a sad face with any explinations she chooses to let me know. For everyday he has a happy face, he earns one item to go back in his room starting with the less excitiing box. If he comes home with a sad face, then he has to give me something back out of his room. I feel like this right now is the only thing that is going to work. I have threatened to do this in the past and I never followed through. Ugh! I should not have done that. I should have always kept my promise and took care of this before. So now, it has resulted in this action the first week after school starts.

I want the best for Ian and I want him to succeed. I think he has to want it for himself.

1 comment:

heather said...

What a hard but good lesson - hear me cheer you on. :-)

I remember one day, after punishing Eli for a pretty serious offense, I found myself sitting in my room thinking and rethinking my move. Was it the best? Was it too harsh? Does he understand what I require of him and why, or does he just feel rejected?
About that time, he walked in, gave me a big hug, and said "Thanks mom, for punishing me." (Yes - he seriously said that- I'm not lying.) He stayed there for a few minutes and then stepped back with what I can only describe as a safe, and almost cheerful look. I got it that he got it.... and would rather have the surety of knowing that I loved him through discipline than the freedom of having his own way and have the heavy burden of picking up and carrying the consequences of that before he was ready.

God does the same for us in love... disciplining us to train us because He loves us.

Your creativity is wonderful...and Ian, (like any of us) will most likely give you a hard time, - but I believe will remember this with significance. Maybe one day, when he is trying to teach your grandkids some of the same principles, you'll get the quiet joy of seeing him introduce the same concept... and know that it did for him all you intended it too. I will pray towards that end. :-)

And I will pray for your consistency, love and encouragement over the next few days. It's a tough road to walk - amazing how even as we grow our kids, He is growing us. I would've rather waited until I was a competent expert to have kids... but no such providence. :-)

I love you lady. It was so good to see you last night!