I can see through you.....

Today someone approched me with this question.

"Are you okay?"

Me: "Yes!...just a little tired from working"

"Well, you look great! I just see something else and can't put my finger on it"

Man....don't you hate it when others can see right through you.

There comes a time when you just have to swallow your pride and say what is wrong.

For us right now, it is finances. We are still being hit with all the moving, transfer fees, and basically, just playing catch up from the move. We didn't make much from the sale of our home, and really....that's okay. But we've had to play catch up in areas where we hadn't realized yet. Some things this past week totally caught us off guard. It wasn't our error, but the errors of the companies involved. Needless to say, our pocketbooks were drained. I refuse to put anything on credit as we don't need to start down that road. What DOES make me happy is that everything is paid!!! But there is nothing left. That....is a sad reality. And when I say nothing....I mean...nadda! Nothing! Zero! Zilch!!

We cut our vacation short and decided to work more hours. OOPS! Wait! We came back home to find out there are no more hours left at work. There is a shortage of freight at FedEx and a shortage of patients at the hospital. I had to beg and plead with my boss last night to not send me home. They were able to get someone else to go home instead of me so I am thankful. But that doesn't guarentee me any hours these next few days. But I will be reaching for what I can get.

I remember a time when we were newely married and we lived off of Ramen Noodles. We didn't complain. In fact, we got quite creative with them. :o) Creativity with meals helps in today's planning when you have 5 mouths to feed. As I worried in my heart this morning about how we would make it this week, I came home and pulled everything we have out of the cabinets and refrigerator. I have enough stuff to be creative enough to make a meal every night this week. My little ones will not go hungry. And I hope and pray they don't see the difference.

The kids are so good. They know things are tight right now and knew this would be the reality for a while after moving. And they have not complained. There is the occassional "WHY" that comes up, but overall, they are happy to entertain themselves while we work to provide for the family.

Living further out of Tulsa now, I have to think about my driving time. Gas was not a big expense for us before. Now, we have to constantly think of ways to conserve our gas and miles. That has been one of the biggest adjustments for us.

School starts in a few weeks. For all of us!!! I have lots to think about. School Supplies, Clothing, Lunches, the basics. ARGH! Still trying to figure out the HOW of this.

However, Emilie woke this morning and showed me that one of her permanent teeth are completely broken off and split in 1/2 at the root. Hummmmm....okay...what will I give up to fix my daughters tooth? A LOT! I have no idea how to cover it, but for her health, I have to do something....and quick!

I'm thankful to the first person who said something to me this morning. I'm very thankful to the second person who looked at me and knew right away I was at war with myself and needed for someone to just understand.

Everywhere we turn, it's a dollar here, five there, and it's never ending. I am happy within myself that I have the strength to say "I can't" and feel okay with it. The disappointment is gone. The struggle comes when you have to disappoint your kids so many times that they no longer are bothered by it. It has just become a way of life.

I'm thankful for our friends. I am thankful for our family. I am thankful for our God and what he blesses us with. Even if it's not much, I feel like the richest person on earth.