Sunday, August 02, 2009

I can see through you.....

Today someone approched me with this question.

"Are you okay?"

Me: "Yes!...just a little tired from working"

"Well, you look great! I just see something else and can't put my finger on it"

Man....don't you hate it when others can see right through you.

There comes a time when you just have to swallow your pride and say what is wrong.

For us right now, it is finances. We are still being hit with all the moving, transfer fees, and basically, just playing catch up from the move. We didn't make much from the sale of our home, and really....that's okay. But we've had to play catch up in areas where we hadn't realized yet. Some things this past week totally caught us off guard. It wasn't our error, but the errors of the companies involved. Needless to say, our pocketbooks were drained. I refuse to put anything on credit as we don't need to start down that road. What DOES make me happy is that everything is paid!!! But there is nothing left. a sad reality. And when I say nothing....I mean...nadda! Nothing! Zero! Zilch!!

We cut our vacation short and decided to work more hours. OOPS! Wait! We came back home to find out there are no more hours left at work. There is a shortage of freight at FedEx and a shortage of patients at the hospital. I had to beg and plead with my boss last night to not send me home. They were able to get someone else to go home instead of me so I am thankful. But that doesn't guarentee me any hours these next few days. But I will be reaching for what I can get.

I remember a time when we were newely married and we lived off of Ramen Noodles. We didn't complain. In fact, we got quite creative with them. :o) Creativity with meals helps in today's planning when you have 5 mouths to feed. As I worried in my heart this morning about how we would make it this week, I came home and pulled everything we have out of the cabinets and refrigerator. I have enough stuff to be creative enough to make a meal every night this week. My little ones will not go hungry. And I hope and pray they don't see the difference.

The kids are so good. They know things are tight right now and knew this would be the reality for a while after moving. And they have not complained. There is the occassional "WHY" that comes up, but overall, they are happy to entertain themselves while we work to provide for the family.

Living further out of Tulsa now, I have to think about my driving time. Gas was not a big expense for us before. Now, we have to constantly think of ways to conserve our gas and miles. That has been one of the biggest adjustments for us.

School starts in a few weeks. For all of us!!! I have lots to think about. School Supplies, Clothing, Lunches, the basics. ARGH! Still trying to figure out the HOW of this.

However, Emilie woke this morning and showed me that one of her permanent teeth are completely broken off and split in 1/2 at the root. Hummmmm....okay...what will I give up to fix my daughters tooth? A LOT! I have no idea how to cover it, but for her health, I have to do something....and quick!

I'm thankful to the first person who said something to me this morning. I'm very thankful to the second person who looked at me and knew right away I was at war with myself and needed for someone to just understand.

Everywhere we turn, it's a dollar here, five there, and it's never ending. I am happy within myself that I have the strength to say "I can't" and feel okay with it. The disappointment is gone. The struggle comes when you have to disappoint your kids so many times that they no longer are bothered by it. It has just become a way of life.

I'm thankful for our friends. I am thankful for our family. I am thankful for our God and what he blesses us with. Even if it's not much, I feel like the richest person on earth.


Tammy said...

Thanks for this post, sweety!! Pete was notified of a big (huge!) paycut Monday and I had been fretting a bit...ok a lot. He still has a job...I am grateful. We took Dave Ramsey's course...I am grateful. It could be worse...I am grateful it isn't. I have friends like you that put things in perspective...I am VERY grateful. Love you!!!

Linda L said...

Brenda, sorry I'm just getting to this now. I don't know if you noticed, I kept looking at you Sunday morning...didn't get to talk with you but I wondered how you were doing, just felt like there was something going on there but not quite sure what. I haven't been able to read your posts in some time (or anyone else's for that matter) and I'm just catching up. You have such faith...I know things will work out; you'll find creative ways to stretch that budget (thanks, Dave) and maybe God will provide for you like he did Elijah. Wasn't that a fitting sermon on sunday? I have been struggling with letting go of some selfish, material things that I wanted, not needed, just desired. I've been listening to Dave Ramsey online a lot lately, and yesterday, I was finally able to let go of those things and I feel 50 lbs lighter! Then, of course, the money is being redirected to fix broken car mirrors, etc. God provides if we (I) will let him. Love you, girl! P.S. I'm ready to get back to our Thurs nite practices, feel out of touch with everybody!

Brenda said...

let me tell you what!!!! By surrendering and swallowing my pride and sacrificing things this past month, God has opened so many doors for us. It has been amazing. It's still hard. The good thing is.....we're all paid up....the bad part of it...there's nothing left after we dish it out. But God has proven in the past three days that he is faithful. Not with money, but with circumstances and I couldn't be more grateful than I am today. He loves me...this I know! And if we were to lose everything tomorrow, the one thing I am sure of is that I serve a great God in the kingdom and that's all that matters.

BTW....Emilie's tooth!!! IT'S FINE! She went to see Dr.Ward today and it was a baby tooth that was cracked by the upcoming new tooth!!! PRAISE GOD!!!!

Brenda said...

Tammy, you are in my prayers through this time. Do not fret! I can tell you, it will be okay. God is faithful.

Linda, ha! No, I had no clue you were looking at me. I think I hardly saw you on Sunday:o( I love Dave Ramsay's advice, and it works. However, I will say the sacrifice we have put up has been a tough one. The sermon Sunday was dead on! We hold onto so many things and then the one thing that we end up in ourselves is emotional poverty. Letting God do the work and being completely honest with yourself and everyone else is a huge part of the faith He wants us to have. I feel like for so long he has screamed....GET OUT OF THE WAY.....and it took a big turn of events to take away my financial security to get me to listen.
MAN!!!! Don't ya just love Him for that?

The next month will continue to be a struggle for us, but I know we can do it because we have been given a gift from Him. Not money! Not material things! But a heart that understands what the finer things in life really are.
I'm so thankful today.
Love you both!