The Switch....

Today I was watching the E!True Hollywood story on Katie Couric. I was amazed and inpsired by her story of being a cancer survivor.
One clip had a relative saying:
"I never heard Katie say 'why me' or 'what did I do to deserve this'" But what she did do is became an advocate for the cancer society and urged people to go get checked. So many lives were save because of this.

I started thinking about our situation at home. I wish I could be one of those people of inspiration that you could say "Brenda never said....why me!" But in fact, I have said that. I have wondered what I did to deserve it and if it were also some cruel joke.

But I wonder where the "SWITCH" takes place. That switch where you go from being down and out, to I'm going to conquer this...and help others too.

I've realized so much this week.
I've taken time every day to go and eat lunch with Ian at school. It's certainly not about the food, but I think during our 30 minutes together, he feels that he has someone to talk to and has a way to get his feelings out and regroup for the rest of the day. He has had some really good days since I've been out of school so I will make sure that I have lunch with him until school is out this year. He deserves that from me. He has great insight into the things he loves and he just needs someone to sit and listen to him. Who better than his mom!!!

I had a great time watching Lukus and Emilie at SSBkids yesterday. (www.ssbkids.com) Their skills are really progressing and they are advancing faster than I thought they would. It's amazing what they have accomplished in 8 weeks! Lukus obviously has more talent in tumbling then I anticipated. He desires to be on a competivite team. I'm not sure he's at the right age for that. Chad was able to go with us and the kids loved him being there.

So back to my original thought here....where does the switch take place? That switch where you go from anger and denial...to acceptance and happiness?

I think I'm 3/4 of the way there now. I've really enjoyed my time with Ian over the past week and a half and I've seen some very postiive growth in him. I think he may resent me right now for going back to school. So when it starts up again in a few weeks, I'm really going to have to work hard to make sure he still feels the love and attention he is getting right now. They dynamic is so odd. I never really noticed how much my time in school is affecting him. So now I have a new set of task to work on. And I think they will work. I'm excited about it.