Monday, September 29, 2008


Do you ever feel like everything you say is the wrong thing?

I think that would define me lately. It is so frustrating.

Practicing good healthy communication is highly important in today's society. For me, communication has to rank pretty high up on my personality profile as well as one of my love languages.

Most loving relationships, whether marriages or freindships, are based on good communication that most often builds up one another. But sometimes, when guards are down, things are said in love and trust that strikes a chord with the other party. Not intentionally, but it happens. Even in the best of marriages and friendships.

It is difficult to communicate lovingly and peacefully when you are angry or hurt. And in times like this, your relationships will start to show signs of stress and disconncetion from one another. Trust and safety start to fade away until eventually, deteriation has occured and you are down a path lonliness.

It doesn't have to be that way!
Relationships/Friendships usually involve recognizing each other's personalities. The likes, the dislikes, and so much more. Friends normally have a mutual sense of caring for one another and want to watch the other grow, develop, and succeed. Nobody likes to see their friends fail at anything. Sometimes, friends need to share feelings without the fear of judgement or negative criticism. That's not always easy to do. Especially if you are trying to help the other one succeed and not fail.
Proverbs 19:20-21 (NLT) Wise words satisfy like a good meal;the right words bring satisfaction. The tongue can bring death or life;those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

So how do you know a good friend....or if you are a good friend?
Friendships take time! Time of investing yourselves in each other. Committment! Even through the good and the bad. You are building memories. You are building trust! Trusting each other is always an important factor. We all need that person that we can call and share our feelings, our hurts, our wants, our happiness, our sadness, and our frustrations with. Trusting that person with our feelings is key. The lack of trust will destory a friendship fast!
Proverbs 18:19 (NLT)An offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified city.
Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with bars.

Forgivness is key in any friendship. Forgive those that have hurt you. Forgive yourself if you screw up! We may not always say what the other person wants to hear, but the fact is, they may need to hear it. Real friends tell eachother things that may not always be plesant, but things to help each other grow. I think that is why God designed us to have long lasting relationships.

Building long lasting friendships can be fun, rewarding, thrilling, exciting! It can also present challanges along the way that leave you looking for answers.

If I picture trying to build my friendships as I believe Jesus did, I would treat everyone justly, keep my promises, not knock others when they are already down, speak postive words, choose good role models, try to maintain my personal integrity,and live a moral life.
Maybe it's time for a good look into the friendships that God has placed into my life.
Am I helping them, or hurting them?
Friendships aren't for gain, but for growth, accountability, and leading each other to Christ.
If I'm anywhere else but there, then it's just not right.

Psalm 15
A psalm of David.
1 Who may worship in your sanctuary, Lord?
Who may enter your presence on your holy hill?
2 Those who lead blameless lives and do what is right,
speaking the truth from sincere hearts.
3 Those who refuse to gossip
or harm their neighbors
or speak evil of their friends.
4 Those who despise flagrant sinners,
and honor the faithful followers of the Lord,
and keep their promises even when it hurts.
5 Those who lend money without charging interest,
and who cannot be bribed to lie about the innocent.
Such people will stand firm forever.

1 comment:

Linda L said...

Well said, Brenda. You're right, it does take all those things to be a true friend. Sometimes I do a good job and sometimes I fail miserably...but I have to keep trying. I have to remember to be the real me, not what I think the other person wants me to be. Sometimes it's hard for me to distinguish between the two.