Monday, July 09, 2007

Life Plans

The title of my blog is "On A Mission"
I wonder what that means for me at times. I am a planner and have so many plans in my head for the future. Not just the distant future, but even what I will do today or tomorrow. I'm always one step ahead of what I''m trying to do in life. So I wonder, what is my mission.

In my plans I have 3 things...a personal lifeplan, a professional lifeplan, and a spiritual lifeplan. I made these 5 years ago in hopes for a better future.

Today, the professional life plan is going great. I'm right on track. Although, I thought I would have been finished by now. I guess somethings have to work in God's timing and not mine.

The personal life plan has gotten better. I wanted a better sense of self acceptance, be able to accept the love and compliments others gave me, do things that I wouldn't normally do to get out of my comfort zone, and continue to build a strong marriage. I haven't perfected it all yet, but I'm still on the right track.

The spiritual life plan well....that one didn't work out like I planned. I never thought I'd give up going to church on Sunday. It's really weird. I was most passionate about this lifeplan more than anything. I felt if I got this one on track, the other two would fall into place.
Saturday marked the 1 year anniversary at work. I've missed all but 4 Sunday's at church in a year. The longer I work, the easier it gets. But I have those times of breakdown where I just really need to be at church and not at work.
I've learned alot about myself in the past year. I have been taken out of my spiritual comfort zone NUMEROUS times and Satan has waged a war against me. He has really tried his hardest to bring me down. There are days I feel like he is winning, but God always brings someone, somewhere, somehow to bring me out of it.
That's just truly God. At times I want to give up and just throw in the towel, but God pulls me through. I miss the things that I love to do so passionately at church, but they will come again. So maybe this plan worked out just like it was supposed to. Not according to my plan at all, but His!

So my mission....well...I guess that still remains to be seen. I know how I want to be remembered. As a strong woman, with love and power, who rest securely in the arms of God, who stands strong from His strength...not my own. There are other things I could be known for in life...but this one trumps them all.

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