Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Never knew I'd feel this way

I'm not really a dog lover. I don't mind playing with them and being around them, but I'm not very good at raising them. But we've always had one. Last week we put our precuious Lady to sleep. It was by far one of the hardest moments in my lifetime. I can't recall a moment that I have ever cried so hard alone.....but this time I cried in front of people. There were no wiping these tears away. Just before we laid her down at our laps, she came over and licked my tears off my face. I'm not a fan of doggie kisses, but these were priceless. I think she was telling me that she knew I wasn't good at this, but she still loved me anyway. She was telling me it was okay. She wasn't the greatest dog ever. She tore up the back yard, ate the cable lines, made more poop than any one dog ever should. But when I commanded her, she listened. She sat. She laid down. She fetched. She walked beside me. And to think, she was really Ian's dog. Not mine. But she treated me like she loved me. It was hard to watch Ian let his best friend go. It was hard to watch his heart shatter. It was hard to have to see him feel like his decision was not right. But we all knew it was. We no longer wanted her to suffer. I don't know why, but I don't believe I'll see her again. I don't believe animals go to Heaven. I believe they are here on earth to serve an earthly void that some of us may have. I could be wrong, and if I am, I'll bring a yellow tennis ball and yellow bat with me as those were her favorite toys. And if not, then I know that I had 13 good years with her by my side watching over us and being the best friend to my kids that we've ever had.

1 comment:

SteveH said...

I was not aware of all of this pain and hurt until now. I'm sorry that I was so oblivious and that I was not able to offer more support and comfort to you and your family. I hurt with you now. You all are special to me, and I pray that God will use me to minister to you all in at least some small way. I love you and your family!