Running the Race!!!!

Okay...so my husband won't brag on himself so I will. This past Sunday he was in the 'Spring Fever' Triathalon and this was his first time trying this out. Now I must admit....I was a bit worried for him. He's been working a lot of hours lately and hasn't been able to train like he should but he was willing and determined to start and finish this.
So this was a 400 meter swim.....12 mile bike ride....and a 2 mile run.

He started off swimming which he finished in about 7 minutes. Pretty good!
Then he ran BAREFOOT quite a ways to to the transition area where they had to put their gear on for the bikes and get going on the bike ride. I think it took him somewhere around 30 minutes to ride 12 miles and then his 2 mile run took 12 minutes. I know I would have been exhausted.

He finished 98th overall out of 250. I think for his first time, and very little training...that's awesome! I'm so pround of my guy!

I like that he loves this. As a wife/supporter/spectator...it's a very boring sport. You don't really see them except for when they are in the swimming area...and then when they are transitioning from one area to another and you really can't talk to them so you just kinda sit around. You are really just there for moral support. I guess that's good. He was glad I was there and I was glad I was there for him. I was proud and now he is motivated to get ready for another one. I couldn't be happier

Feeling blessed!

My heart is overjoyed today by thinking of the friends I have. Yeah...you know who you are. And I feel so blessed that God has given me SO many to bless my life. Not everyone comes from the same walks of life. Everyone has their ups and downs. Everyone has their struggles. But in some way shape or form, we have all stayed connected. Either my friends far away....or my friends right here in my own back yard....there is such a connection that brings me closer and closer to them each day.

In my personal study today...I was reflecting on this thought and trying to figure out how God works in all these friendships I have. I haven't always made the best choices in choosing who I hang around with, but what I've noticed in the end, is that the friends that I fought for and were not willing to let go of....are still around. I think everyone has those childhood friendships that I'm talking about. What is it that makes them so special? Is it the fact that the person stuck with you the longest? That person knows most of your dirt? We pick up other GREAT friends along the way but what makes all your close friendships special?

I won't go into all of the details of the study I read today but here are the general points:

• Ruth 1-4 It has staying power and commitment.
• Proverbs 17:17; 18:24 It "Hangs in there"
• Proverbs 27:17-19 It Shapes your character and repuation - for the good
• 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 It shows you love one another
• James 5:13-20 It shows you are able to lean on each other

I can say that with all my friends, I feel that I try my best to utilize these 5 points. Maybe that's why I feel so good about them. Maybe that's why I feel so loved. Maybe that is why I love them so much. Because they treat me with the same love in retrun. I love the friendships that God has brought into my life and I'm excited for the ones that He will continue to bring. I have gained new friends over the past year and even made some older friendships even stronger becasuse of God working through us.

Ultimately one day, we will all be in Heaven together standing side by side enjoying each others company. Laughing, crying, dancing, and having a great time. I love the closeness I share with my friends here, and I truly can't stand the distance I have with my friends far away. Heaven can't come soon enough for me to where I will be dancing joyfully with my best friend above. For now....he has blessed me beyond belief and I truly mean beyond belief with some wonderful people here on earth. I would stand in the gap for you anyday! I love you all!

Back to the meds

Today I visited with my neurologist once again. It's been a while and today was a follow up after being on a certain medication for several months. He was a little disappointed in me that I told him over all this period of time I am still suffering with headaches at least twice a week. In a joking manner he said...."Maybe you are studying too hard" Ha! Yes...maybe that's the problem.

So his disappointement is that I was willing to live with the pain. Not only with the headaches, but also with the side effects of the meds he has me on. They're not too bad. I'm willing to live with the side effects to not have a head ache every day. But what does he do??? He piles more meds on top of the meds I'm taking to counteract with the meds I'm on. Hum....I'm sure in the scheme of things....it all makes sense somewhere. So I walked in for my checkup for my headaches, not particularally liking the meds I'm on, and walked away with 3 more perscriptions. Yes! 3!!! Yikes! Guess we'll see how this goes. I know that prayer is the most powerful perscription yet and I'm still relying on that one the most. It's the ultimate cure.

Why is life so rough?

When Chad and I made the decision for me to go back to school, we never really realized how hard it would be. Emotionally and Financially. This past year and a half has been something of a challenge in our home. With holidays, birthdays, and every other event, it seems like we are always a day late and a dollar short.
On the financial end we think of those things like..."Oh we could go get a loan and consolidate" but what good would that do? You just end up paying it off in the end anyway. It's not like we have huge debt, but when I left my job, it was a HUGE chunk our our income that we lost as well. The other thing we realized is that we didn't want to stop living the lifestyle that we had as a two income family. So what happened? Chad took on a second job. So then there's the emotional part of the process. I don't get to see him near as much as he is a workaholic.

So how do you continue to live, go to school, be happy, and having a thriving marriage and family? Well, it's called sacrifice!!! It's not something that I am very good at. But today I feel so much more at ease with that word. (maybe cause I haven't started yet)
It's not like we have the tax man beating down our door, or that anything is subject for cutoff...it's just that today I realized that we can't keep up this lifestyle any longer. We won't move or sell our house...but we'll downgrade the cable...or just do away with it totallly, we'll find a cheaper way to access the internet, we'll stay home more and invest in family time rather than going out to expensive places to entertain ourselves and our children. There are parks, there is hiking, there is nature to be loved here. I believe that God put this stuff here for our enjoyment and so many times, we are out spending our money on things that are not needed when we can enjoy the creation that he created for us right here.
I'll be the first to tell you, I'd much rather go and enjoy a great movie than sit outside hearing the kids scream, or working the soil in my yard, or taking care of my daily chores around the house. So what does that say about me?
So today is no longer about having an empty pocket book, it's about what we can do to manage our lives both financially and emotionally so that we can be happy, pay off debt, and please our God all at the same time. It won't be easy by a long shot....but we will have more benefits than I think I realize. God will bless us.

AMAZING!!!

Okay...so yes....I'll blog about today!
HOLY COW!!!

After this mornings service I was totally and unbelieveably blown away by the worship experience. But not just that....TERRY'S SERMON!!! Hello!!! Where has he been hiding that one? Today was just a totally INCREDIBLE day!

Now...of course...I'm a little partial to our guest but I totally want who God wants for us. I love how God worked through him this weekend. I loved how that it was nothing that anyone did...but what God did today. It wasn't about about Sean, or all about Terry, but God planeted perfectly exactly what needed to be sung and what needed to be said. I was so moved to tears today and I haven't worshiped like that in so long.

I am excited for our next few weeks and see what God has in store for us. He is really working on Memorial and working through each of us to make this truly a place for connection, comfort, family and always starting over. I love that about our church. I just love our church so much and look forward for the future of it.

Am I the only one that was excited about today?

Last night we went out and celebrated our 12 year wedding anniversary. We had dinner at PF Changs followed by Starbuks and a nice evening stroll around Utica Square. The kids were all gone on over night visits so it was nice to not have to worry about rushing home. We had the BEST time laughing and remember 'back when' we first met. I still remember it like it was yesterday. There I was coming down the escelator at the food court of Eastland Mall...just wanting to get my drink refilled and low and behold....the most georgous guy I had ever seen was behind the counter at Subway. I almost couldn't ask for my refill. My heart was beating so fast and I'm surprised I got the words out. Last night, Chad asked me...."How long had you been coming for refills on your drinks before we actually talked?" I remember it only took me 2 times to see Chad and I spoke to the manager who happened to be his roommate and well....it was all downhill from there. The first night in meeting me....he gave me the most beautiful rose ever....to now...having a wonderful marriage and 3 beautiful children. It's all I ever wanted and God gave it all to me. We're so opposite that it's sometimes hilarious. It's a wonder how we ever managed to end up together. We've been through some pretty rough times over the past 12 years, but we've survivied. I can't begin to tell you what it's like living with the man of my dreams. He loves me enough to put up with me and all my stuff that I go through. He's a great father and a wonderful friend. He sees me when I'm ugly....and still says I'm beautiful. He knows all my faults and looks past them. When I am weak and fall short....he is always strong...and picks me up. He is my protector, my lover, my husband, my friend and I know we will spend eternity together. And still...that won't be long enough. I love and cherish him....now.....forever.....ALWAYS!

The Full but Empty feeling.....

I love this time of year but dread this day.

I love the workshop...the chance to be with my dearest and closest friends. My lifelong friends that I've known since 1988. Of course that makes me realize that I'm just getting older. hee hee.

I dread this day so much becuase after being here for 5 days, they are now gone and I feel this deep empty feeling in my heart. Sure, this happens every year but as I sit here and cry (as I do each year), it's so hard to imagine that I'll wake up tomorrow and they won't be here. My heart just hurts so much.

This year felt so good to be around friends and just to let myself totally go. Not that I normally wear a mask, but I guess I worry at times what would happen if others hung out with me long nough to get to know me. Not so much my D pesonality, but the I that I truly love being. Would they laugh at my jokes? Would they be loud and obnoxious when I am. Will I ever find such friendships here where even going a day without talking to them is difficult? So after saying all of that...I guess there is a part of me that realized today that I live in hiding not being able to be the real me. I have LOTS of friends and aquaintances that I love dearly but there's nothing like your lifelong best friends. Everyone has those and those hilarious memories that you cherish together. I just feel so sad that mine are so far away.

Chad is my best friend here and I feel totally comfortable being funny around him. Joking in a way only he can understand. Only in a way that my friends this weekend can understand. But maybe I don't give others the chance because I'm afraid. Afraid that others won't laugh with me and like my humor.

I know what I should do is focus on the fun times we have everytime and look forward to our times together. Our time at PF Chang this year was incredible. Both nights for dinner was so much fun. But just being together in their presence gives my heart something that is just priceless. I think every year I laugh off about 10 pounds and that's such a good feeling. (Not the weight loss...but the laughing...ha ha)

So how do I fill up this empty feeling I have? Where do I find some lifelong friends here in town that I feel this comforable with? People that want to hang out with me just for no reason atall? Makes me sometimes wonder if I'm doing something wrong.
For now, my best friends of all time will have to live 7-10 hours away as we continue to have long distance friendships. Who knows....maybe one day, I'll end up closer to them. You never know how God works.
For now, my life goes back to normal....school....studying....and getting my degree. Once that happens, I can't guarentee where we'll end up. But I pray that God gives us clear signs of what he wants us to do and what his passion for us is.

Sleep

You know...It's so weird, I can never sleep past 7:30 in the morning. It makes me SO mad sometimes. I try my hardest to sleep late but it just doesn't work for some reason. I won't way that my body is rested, because I have that feeling of "Oh..I'm not ready to get up".
So last night, I went to be totally exhausted to the point I could not hold my eyes open. I didn't think I could make it up the stairs. I was convinced that I would sleep on the couch tonight. But I made it to be and woke up at 10:00am this morning. 10:00!!!! WOW!!! I haven't done that since I was a teenager. I woke up wondering where the kids were (at grandmas) and freaking out about the time. It was a good but weird feeling.

Then there's those afternoons that Chad can just come home and fall asleep that the drop of a hat. I can't do that. I would give anything to take a nap in the afternoon. I know there must be something wrong with me. No matter how hard I concentrate...I just can't do it.

Anyway...so the workshop is coming and I can't tell you how excited I am for all my friends to get here. This is the highlight of my year. I get to see my dearest friends about twice a year and this is the longest. I can't even begin to explain my feelings leading up to this week. I just feel like a kid at Christmas when they show up.
I'll never forget the time on my 17th birthday. I walked out of my parents house to load my car with something and this strange car pulls in the driveway. I'll never forget the feeling when my friends Tisha, Tanah, and Brishan got out of the car. It was one of the best days ever. I remember it like it was yesterday. We have so many great memories together since we were young and I just can't wait to see them in a few days. I think the older we get, the more excited we get to see each other. I think every year I laugh off ten pounds when they get here. So I'm trying to contain my excitment but believe me...I'll let loose when Wednesday gets here.

Such a sad day....

You know...there's always some type of excitement in our neighborhood...but tonight was not the type of excitement we wanted. One of our precious neighbors died tonight. Bobby wasn't feeling well and went into the bathroom and had a heartattack.
This was the man who assisted me when Lukus cut off his toe and everytime we would have snow....he would come by using his snow plow and plow my entire driveway. He was a quiet man, pretty much kept to himself...but was the type of man who would help you with anything you needed.
The kids love to play in his yard trying to catch the cottontail bunnies we have in the neighborhood. Bobby never complained once. He had lots of friends and family beyond this neighboorhood and I know he will be missed. It's just so sad to seem someone go so quickly when you just saw them working in the yard yesterday. Just makes you realize how short life really is.

Is it more than just a friendship???

Well, Ian says so! Friday night Ian and Becca spent the evening at Fun and Games and had the best time! He was so cute when he came home. He talked and talked and we laughed and laughed

you can tell he was just tickled pink to have such a good friend. He started to ask me questions about when Chad and I met and how me met. So I told him the story. Most of the time, he giggled and just put his head down in the pillow laughing. Guess he's never really needed to know until now.
So I finally had to ask him...
"Ian...is Becca just your friend or your 'girlfriend'?"

He says, "Oh definately mom...she's my girlfriend" But we didn't say that until tonight.

I tried to look at him without panic on my face. I think at this age my mother would have had a heartattack if I ever said that. But I wonder...is it different with boys? I don't have that serious panic...I kinda just laugh about it. I mean...they are so cute and most of all...Becca really keeps Ian well grounded. He is totally a different person when he is around her. But he told me that they don't talk about it at school cause kids would make fun of them.

So here it is...Sunday...and Ian is begging me to let Becca come over. So tonight we went to the park to hang out. We didn't get to stay long because of the storms coming in but they really had a blast together just laughing and running around.

I never thought that Ian would develop a friendship with a girl. I honestly was a little worried that girls wouldn't have an interest in him due to all of his problems. But he has really become a little ladies man.

I asked him "Ian...what will you do when we move and you don't go to the same school with Becca anymore?"

He replied..."Mom, you can't let that ever happen. It would really crush me."

Lord help me now!

A week off!

Yay!! It's finally spring break and I feel so weird that I don't have to study! It's not enough that I can just thank the Lord that there is no homework....but I even woke up in the middle of the night reciting the steps of Glycolysis and Krebs cycle and Electron Transport Chain. It's like I can't stop.
We had our midterm exams on Thursday and Friday. I am SO glad they are over. I don't think I could have studied another day. This truly has been my hardest semester....but I think I say that as each semester passes by.
I had a very interesting conversation with another student who outright told me she was cheating. I can't tell you how mad this makes me. The fact that I'm working my tail off to get this in my head and make a great career for myself...and then someone else can come along and take advantage of the system. I was able to talk to one professor and had the issued solved in that class. The funny thing was...I told this girl that I did not approve of her behavior and she didn't care. So I asked her...."So you don't mind if I go to him and tell him what you are doing?" She said "I don't view it as cheating" HELLLO!!!!!!! Okay....so I e-mailed my professor that day and didn't give him the name of the student...just told him the scenario that was going on. The next morning...she is so worried that I'm going to tell the professor...that she rats on herself. It was so classic. I may sound evil....but it was priceless. And she did it in front of my other classmates.
I really have tried to befriend her in the beginning....but I just couldn't condone her way of learning. I would just hate it if she was ever my nurse or one for my friends or family. If you don't understand the way the body works...then you shouldn't be working on someone else.

So now....school is over for a week and I have time to get work done around the house. We started remodeling our downstairs bathroom today. Okay....so this is priceless....We remove the toilet and Chad puts it in the front yard. So I said "Hey...sit on it...that will look funny."
What's Chad do??? Pulls down his shorts and sits on the pot! OH MY GOODNESS!!!! WHAT WILL MY NEIGHBORS THINK!!! I freaked and ran inside. He gets up and gives them a good wave! Face it....Chad is my 4th child!!! But boy does he make me laugh!!!

What a great week this will be!!!!

Gettin Healthy

For extra credit in Biology my professor decided to let us go and get this health screening. Besides that simple fact we are studying all this stuff and it is very interesting, it would be a good idea to see how healthy or un-healthy we are.

To my surprise...I'm very healthy. Everything was completly in check. My total Cholestrol was low, HDL was was at a good level but that can always be better! My LDL was low, Triglycerides and glucose levels were at a great level!
I've been trying to watch myself lately. I'm at that point now where it's starting to feel good. I've lost 15 pounds since Dec 1 and things are starting to fit me better. Overall, I'm just starting to feel better about myself. That's what's important. I've always been the kind of person that has said that I don't care what the scale says, just as long as I feel good about myself. Today is just one of those days. It's the simple rewards that count in the end and I'm truly loving life right now. This has just been a fabulous week! Praise God!

The unexplainable!

So this is my brother, my mother, and my father. What a trio we have to put up with. They are such characters!!! I have to admit, this is one of my all time favorite pictures. I can't really explain it, other than they are just a lot of fun and can really make you laugh when you least expect it.

Feeling appreciated!!!

What a fun night to spend with the best people I know. I had such a great time just laughing and carrying on with the ladies of our church. It was such a nice time to just relax. I couldn't have asked to be in better company. I cherish my friends so much and love to be around them. God gave us friends to lean on and these are truly women of God! I was a night well deserved by all of us and a great night of fun and fellowship togethter.

Siblings....

Every Friday night my kids go to my parents house for an overnight visit and to give Chad and I some much needed rest for the week.

Today, Lukus, being the boy that he is decided that he was not going if Emilie was going. He said he was going to do the exact opposite of her. "She's a girl and I don't want to be around her" were his words. Ahhh...such a boy thing.

So Emilie and I left and went to get our manicures and pedicures for the week and Chad ran Lukus to my moms since Emilie is staying at home. Remember...he doesn't want to be int he same place as her.

So he decides now he doesn't want to spend the night this week and wants to come home. When he gets home, he finds Emilie asleep on the couch. He doesn't say anything about her, look at her, nothing.

I'm sitting here studying and he walks in and says:
"Mom, Emilie looks like she's going to fall off the couch. Can I push her back on?" I say yes.
He comes back:
"Mom, now Emilie looks cold just sleeping there. Can I c0ver her up with a blanket?" I say yes.
Once more:
"Mom, is it okay if I get in the blanket with Emilie and lay next to her so she doesn't feel alone?" I just smile!

And say yes, of course!

Guess his feelings changed.

Meat or Not Meat...

Emilie - "Mom, are we meat?"

Mom - "HUH?"

Emilie - "Are we meat? Like you eat. The kind you put in the fridge?"

Mom - "No, you can't eat humans. We are not meat"

Emilie - "But mom, we are part of the animal family aren't we? We eat animals right?"

Mom - "Yes, we eat animals because that is how God made it. The animal kingdom is here to feed us among other things"

Emilie - Looking perplexed she said "Okay.....So I guess I'm just not a piece of meat."

And she walked away!

Ugh!

Life's gettin' funny for me!!!

Okay, so I feel like I'm starting to not have a life with school anymore.

My newest toy is my laptop. A wake up with it in the morning and go to bed with it at night. I study all the time and feel like it's never ending. Then yesterday, Dr. Lurz says "If you thought this chapter was hard, wait until we start the next unit next week!"
Oh my goodness! Lord help me now!

So in spite of the classes I don't like, I got some good news. I was accepted into the PCT program for the fast track class in the summer. Yes, I'm gulten for punishment! What's even worse are the hours! I will be gone all of the time for 8 weeks!!!! I will have no life during the course of the summer semester! Yikes! But I know it will be fun! At this point I will be in the hospital somewhere, just don't know which one. I know it's every Friday from 6:45am to 4:00pm though. And even better news, my friend Tischa and I got in at the same time so we can go together. We are so excited. So now we're doing it all together. Friday, we're going to go and get all shot up with everything we need. You know the TB test, MMR, and Hep B series. Ugh! Then gotta go get our CPR certification taken care of. But boy, I just hope that I past that Criminal Background check! hee hee!

So I'm trying to get through this with a smile on my face. It's working out pretty well. I pampered myself this weekend. Had my hair done. I'd love a pedicure but it's just too cold outside for me to go get my toes done and then walk away with flip flops on. But I sure need that R&R to help me get through it. Mabye all now I need is my own personal massage therapist to get me through each day! Ahhh...yes...those hot rock massage's are wonderful!

So I don't know if this is the downward spiral or the uphill climb, but I know I have now reached that 1/2 way point of my inital goal of where I want to be in my professional life plan! Yeah! It's all coming together and looking good and feeling great!

I'm a political nut!

Do you ever have those time in life where you question "What should I be doing in life?"

I know right now I'm questioning that because I'm struggling in this class I'm in....and I'll get over it. I'll get through it. I'm a tough girl! I've always succeed! I know I can do it! I won't fail. I don't know how!

But I don't enjoy going through this. And I start to question..."Is this the right major for me?"

It sounds really and totally crazy and if this was a private blog I know that nobody would laugh but since it's not...you can go ahead and start laughing now. But my most enjoyable class that I have had since I started school was Poitical Science. Well, other than my comp classes. But everyone knows I love to write, and write, and write! But I love the government now. I love debates, elections, hearings, the whole nine yards. And I don't know why. Well, yes I do. I had a professor that made it interesting to me. I had someone that made the political spectrum so fascinating that it created a firestorm within me.

Just like now....when Marcy brought up her friend Kathy Taylor...sure...I perked up. Don't you know I've already read up on Tayor for Tulsa? I know what she's all about! My idea of a good afternoon of watching televison is going home after class and turning to channed 44 and watching what the house and senate are doing for the day. My husband has wondered what I have become! He laughs at me and says...."You are not seriously going to watch this are you??" I feel the need to watch what they are going to talk about." People....THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF!

So I'm not changing my major or anything like that. I'm still devoted to being the best nurse I can possibly be. But you never know where I may end up. I my end up being the private nurse to some big political hot shot someday. You just wait and see...I'll be flying on Air Force One or something like that! It's just driving me crazy!

Oh my head....

Why does my head have to hurt so much?

I have re-entered the world of migraines! What is it with these things? Just when things were looking so much better, here they come again.

I feel like this is just some sort of punishment that I have to go through in life, but nobody should ever have to hurt so much. It is truly like hammers and needles stabbing through your skull. It's funny that the first paper I wrote in biology was on "The Diagnosis and Treaments of Migraines in Children" and I scored and absolutely perfect score with Kudos from the professor. Guess I have some experience huh?

They've been gone for a while but have now decided to come back with a vengence. With no warning, they appear out of nowhere. Luckily, our wonderful Chiropractor is always on hand to lend some relief when possible. Most of the time, I feel that is the only thing that helps at all. It's truly amazing what chiropractic care can do for one's head!!! If you haven't tried it it out....I truly suggest it!

So for now, I go to bed early again tonight hoping and praying that I don't wake with this in the morning. But I'm not very optimistic. It's just not that easy to get rid of. Feels like a nasty mold that won't go away but grows and grows and rears it's ugly head whenever it wants to. Ugh!!!!

Praying for a good nights rest!