Ice Ice Ice

This was the only smile we saw on Chad's face today. I think it was because we drove up and suprised him in this nasty weather.




This is our tree that is 35 years old. This is right before all the branches started falling. It has survived so many storms, I'm sad to see it go. We just pray that it doesn't fall on the house.

What??? There's Ice???

Every year we have fun with snow and ice on the trampoline! They break up all the ice for us so we can save the tranpoline by standing it up on it's side.

SHHHHH.....

Okay...the secret is going to be out now. I secretly am a huge DONNY OSMOND fan.
And one of the feel good movies that I watch when I'm down is Donny in Joseph and the Amazing technicolor dreamcoats. My kids love and yes, we own the soundtrack and movie and they can sing it all too.
So it's not within the Christmas theme of songs, but it's what I'm watching tonight.
Here is one of my favorite scenes.

Where are you Christmas????

If you just BELIEVE!!!

An annual favorite!

I know I post this every year at this time, but my kids love it.

What's wrong with this picture????

Bring out the songs

Okay...Christmas is my favorite time of the year for music. I'm a sucker for it. So you'll see a lot of videos between now and then.

Friday, we began watching the Polar Express again and this is Emilie's favorite. We sang it the rest of the weekend around the house, in the car, and everywhere.

What is it like?

Someone needs to educate me on two things:
What it's like to be the "middle child" and how to parent a "middle child".

Appearently, I am doing it all wrong.

I try my best, but according to the "middle child" in our family, I have totally screwed it up! It being his life!!!

Last night we had a very heartfelt and tearful conversation after church. Most of it was about how bad of a parent I am.

I was never a middle child, only the baby of the family. That explains a lot of my stubborness and selfishness that I go through. I can work on this easily. But the middle child stuff...well...I'm in the dark.

One of the things that he brought to my attention is that he doesn't feel like we even know he is here. That breaks my heart. We talk everyday, I tell him I love him everyday, but apparently it's not enough. And I don't know how to fix it with him. I tried today, but it just made things worse.

He got me thinking.....How many times have I felt 'un-noticed', 'un-loved', un-appreicaited'???? Oh! I can think of so many.

There are many times in my life, even right now, that I feel there are people that wouldn't know if I was around or not. I have to say, it's the worse feeling in the world. It hurts my heart so much. Going to school...nobody saying hello. Going to church, and just having someone walk by you, having a family dinner and someone not speaking to you almost the entire time. It's not a good feeling.

I had a friend that once told me that he gagued his importance in a room by the amount of people that came over to him and either acknowledged him by saying hello, giving a hug. He even tested this....and finally went into a major depression and tried to kill himself.
Now...that's a bit extreme....but I thought his experiment was interesting. On the first hand, I thought, I wonder if anyone would acknowledge me if I came in the room. Second, I thought it was a pretty selfish "it's all about me" act!

How do we get stuck in this rut....and how do we get out?
How do I parent a 10 year old that already feels this way.

I think our role in this world is so important. It's a role that is not all about us, but all about Him and the work that we are doing for Him through our actions.
Making others feel like they matter is something that Jesus was good at. No...he was GREAT at it.
I can say I'm not the best at this. I go in and out of good times in this practice. But I want to make everyone feel that they are important and they have a place in this world.

So the next time you walk in a room, try to make eye contact...not with just one, but with everyone, say hello to 2-3-5-10 people, give as many hugs as you can!! Make someone else feel important and hopefully this will be returned in your heart.

As for parenting the middle child, I could use all the advice I can get!!!! ;o)

perfect harmony to crack you up!

Some things are just too funny!
This would be a great one for our Christmas party!

Give everything, or give nothing!

Anagrams

I love the English langauage. I keep saying I should have been an English major.
The person that made this must really love scrabble to come up with these, but I thought this was hilarious!!!

DORMITORY:
When you rearrange the letters:
DIRTY ROOM

PRESBYTERIAN:
When you rearrange the letters:
BEST IN PRAYER

ASTRONOMER:
When you rearrange the letters:
MOON STARER

DESPERATION:
When you rearrange the letters:
A ROPE ENDS IT

THE EYES: !
When you rearrange the letters:
THEY SEE

GEORGE BUSH:
When you rearrange the letters:
HE BUGS GORE

THE MORSE CODE :
When you rearrange the letters:
HERE COME DOTS

SLOT MACHINES:
When you rearrange the letters:
CASH LOST IN ME

ANIMOSITY:
When you rearrange the letters:
IS NO AMITY

ELECTION RESULTS:
When you rearrange the letters:
LIES - LET'S RECOUNT

SNOOZE ALARMS:
When you rearrange the letters:
ALAS! NO MORE Z 'S

A DECIMAL POINT:
When you rearrange the letters:
IM A DOT IN PLACE

ELEVEN PLUS TWO:
When you rearrange the letters:
TWELVE PLUS ONE

AND FOR THE GRAND FINALE:

MOTHER-IN-LAW:
When you rearrange the letters:
WOMAN HITLER

(Probably made by a son-in-law)

Footnote: I love my mother-in-law!!!!

Beautiful Moments

Here are a few shots from our fun trip down to Mike and Mikel's wedding.


Tony preaching on "Love"

The boys singing "Your Love is More"

Chris doing his thing

Ah...yes, the kiss

Me, Vicki, Nikki, and Tisha having lunch at the steak house a few hours before the wedding. (and after a morning of great shopping)

Working with Heros!

My coworkers are heros!!!!

Heroes in the air
St. Francis Hospital Intensive Care Unit nurses Andrew Sledge (from left), Jill McDaniel and Barbara Still were on an Oct. 21 flight, bound for a cruise vacation, when they were summoned to save a man’s life.
By KEVIN CANFIELD World Staff Writer
11/13/2007

Nurse trio saves life at start of vacation

There are some jobs that you just can't leave at the office. Saving lives is one of them.
Jill McDaniel, Andrew Sledge and Barbara Still, all nurses in St. Francis Hospital's Intensive Care Unit, were packed into the back of a jumbo jet last month, headed for a cruise, when a fellow passenger's life began slipping away.

McDaniel, 26, said she's not sure why the otherwise healthy-looking middle-aged man stopped breathing -- only that he definitely did.

"He completely stopped breathing, and his eyes started rolling into the back of his head," she said.

It was about 9:30 a.m. Oct. 21 aboard American Airlines Flight 979 -- thousands of feet in the air and 45 minutes out of Dallas -- headed to Miami, Fla., where the nurses planned to board a cruise ship at 4 p.m.

When a flight attendant asked whether any medical personnel were on board, McDaniel and Sledge learned that the sick man was just two rows in front of them.

They were able to speak to him for a short time before his eyes rolled back and his breathing stopped.

Then it was time for them to get to work.

McDaniel gave the man four chest compressions and four rescue breaths before Sledge, 26, picked him up and placed him in the aisle.

McDaniel continued with chest compressions while Sledge tried to breathe life back into the man.

Meanwhile, Still hooked up the man to an Automatic External Defibrillator, which qualified medical personnel can use to determine whether it is necessary to shock someone.

Two to three long minutes passed. Nothing.

Then, just as the device showed that no shock was necessary, Sledge felt things change for the better.

"One of the last breaths, I could feel a resistance," he said. "It's where he's trying to breathe out while I'm trying to breathe in.

"I looked up and his eyes started to open up some."

They had saved a life.

"He was essentially dead; he was gray and he wasn't breathing, and we were able to revive him," Still said.

Whose life did they save?

They don't know.

Fifteen or 20 minutes after they began CPR, the 757 made an emergency landing in Shreveport, La., where another problem awaited:

Shreveport's airport is so small that it didn't have a portable stairway high enough to reach the plane's door.

The paramedics had to be put on the plane with scaffolding.

McDaniel said the man was taken out of the back of the plane, but she's not sure how he got to the ground.

That's the last thing they know about him.

They think of him, though.

"You have to sit back and think, 'We saved that man's life,' " Still said. "And in the next breath, you think, 'We do that every day.' "
McDaniel, Sledge and Still work three 12-hour shifts together every week.

Still, 32, described their work: "If you watch the news, that's generally our patients."
So they're used to unpleasant emergencies.

But they're also used to dealing with them in a hospital, not in an airplane. Not while on their way to the Virgin Islands.

All three acknowledged that they were a bit scared at first, but another feeling soon took over.

"When you're outside your unit, you wonder, 'Is it going to come to me?' and it did," Still said.

And about that cruise?

The nurses didn't get to Miami until a few hours after their ship had sailed.

They caught up with it the next day in Nassau, the Bahamas.

They had a very nice time.

Some of Dr. Phil's best!!!

Anger is nothing more than an outward expression of hurt, fear and frustration.

Awareness without action is worthless.

Failure is no accident.

If you want more, you have to require more from yourself.

It's better to be healthy alone than sick with someone else.

Life is a marathon, it's not a sprint.

Sometimes you just got to give yourself what you wish someone else would give you.

Sometimes you make the right decision, sometimes you make the decision right.

Sometimes you've just gotta give yourself what you wish you were getting from someone else.

The most you get is what you ask for.

The quickest way from A to B is not always at the most feverish pace.

We teach people how to treat us.

You cannot be who and what you are unless you have a lifestyle, both internally and externally, that is designed to support that definition of self.

You have the duty and gift of living. You don't have the right to sit on the sidelines--use your life and get back into the game.

You need to listen to your body because your body is listening to you.

You're only lonely if you're not there for you.

Stay on Guard

Many times in life I find that I am a drifter. My mind, my thoughts, and my actions can drift away from God and put me right into Satan's hands. Whew...that's a scary thought. But I've come to find out I'm not alone in this.

There are many things we can do to keep our minds in check and guard our hearts. I have to be able to recognize the areas in my life where I let my guard down when really, my armor should be on at all times.

Getting into His word and just letting it work on my heart is such a good feeling. I'm not a "scripture quoter". I never have been. I know and remember stories, but most of the time, I have to look something up in order to see what the Father is trying to tell me.

The Holy Spirit is so powerful. If we take more time to pray and ask for that power to protect us, we can have that shield of armor we need. Prayer is such a powerful thing. I love to get together with other Christians and just pray. I'm not good at it, but I love to do it. But I learned that God is my friend and I can have a great conversation with Him without being intimidated. When talking to Him, I can just relax and be myself. But it's also cool to just have some quiet time with Him. I love our alone time.

Father,
I know there are times that I struggle and I drift away from you. Help me to be strong, to be a good example, and to show your face in all I do. I am a weak person without you! Your strength guides me. Don't let the weight of the world shake me. Life is good! Help me to always know what you are trying to tell me. And when my friends struggle, help me to be a light to them and show them the path back to you.
Help me to keep my guard up at all times so that my heart constantly stays strong for you.
Amen

Which one is your favorite???

20 things to remember!

1. Faith is the ability to not panic.

2. If you worry, you didn't pray. If you prayed, don't worry.

3. As a child of God, prayer is kinda like calling home every day.

4. Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

5. When we get tangled up in our problems, be still. God wants us to be
still so He can untangle the knot.

6. Do the math. Count your blessings.

7. God wants spiritual fruit, not religious nuts.

8. Dear God: I have a problem. It's me.

9. Silence is often misinterpreted, but never misquoted.

10. Laugh every day -- it's like inner jogging.

11. The most important things in your home are the people.

12. Growing old is inevitable, growing up is optional.

13. There is no key to happiness. The door is always open. Come on in.

14. A grudge is a heavy thing to carry.

15. He who dies with the most toys is still dead.

16. We do not remember days, but moments. Life moves too fast, so enjoy your
precious moments.

17. Nothing is real to you until you experience it; otherwise it's just
hearsay.

18. Its all right to sit on your pity pot every now and again. Just be sure
to flush when you are done.

19. Surviving and living your life successfully requires courage. The goals
and dreams you're seeking require courage and risk-taking. Learn from the
turtle, it only makes progress when it sticks out its neck.

20. Be more concerned with your character than your reputation. Your
character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what
others think you are. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there's
always a rainbow waiting. Leave gentle fingerprints on the soul of another
for the angels to read.

I don't want to get to the end of my life and find that I lived just the
length of it. I want to have lived the width of it as well.

Beautiful!

Changes

I want to live the simple life! I loved growing up! We had 5 channels on TV, no cell phones, one car, and a life of the right priorities. Mostly because we didn't have the money. When other kids came over to play they would gasp "You don't have cable???" I was embarrassed at the time.
I took my lunch to school everyday and had the same bologna and cheese sandwich everyday I think for 5 years! (my dad took the same lunch everyday too! I thought that was cool)

Finally we had technology going in, and now I'm trying to get technology out. Well, not really out, just reduced!

I have found that by bringing in more technology into my life, that it runs us into financial ruin. Internet, cable, cell phone, computers, etc. These are things that just consume our lives can not only consume you, they can break you financially.

This past week we made some changes.

We downgraded our Internet to not be so "high speed". I can live with a slower connection.

We downgraded our cable so that we have less things to corrupt our eyes with. Who needs 900 channels!!!! I'm happy with 5 channels and an antennae.

We downgraded our cell phone! Yes, you heard me right!!! Downgraded the cell phone to not have so many minutes. We have a home phone and I can communicate from that from now on. The less minutes I have, the less I will talk on the phone.

We are looking for the priorities in our lives right now. We can't give in the places we want to give because we are living with the wrong priorities. When you sit back and look at what you can really live without, your perspective really changes.

Precious Prayer

Why is one of the most precious things on earth one of the most difficult?

Prayers! It is so hard for me to ask others to pray for me. To put myself out there. To be bold. To be vulnernable. I really struggle with this. If I asked for prayers outloud, are they more inclined to get answered?

I have no problem asking for others, but me personally, I just don't want to bother people with it. I use to be really good at this until someone told me "You always have prayer request" and then I took about 10 steps back in the wrong direction.

I didn't want to appear needy. I wanted people to finally think everything was okay.
I love to pray for people. I love to take their needs to our Father. I love that others would ask me to do that for them.

I've been sick for the past 9 weeks and lost now over 20 pounds. I went to the doctor on Friday and all test came back negative for anything I could have gotten at work. I can not eat and have eaten very little over the past 2 weeks. Eaten practiclly nothing over the past 2 days.

I will soon go in for further testing and procedures to find out why I am rapidly losing weight and getting sick.

If you do read this blog, please pray the answers will soon be found. I was in hopes I had just caught a bug, and now that's not the case. Pray that the outcome and recovery is swift and easy.

And God, I know you read my blog....please Heal Me!!!

Challenges!!! I love them!

This week I was given a challenge. It was not really presented that way, but WHOOOO it is! And I love it.

I love something that makes me think.
I love something that pushes me to go where I haven't before.
I love something that makes me explore new territory.
I love something that reaches me to new heights.
I love something that takes me to another level.
I love something that tugs at my heart so much that it consumes me!

When presented with an earthly challenge, it's not always like that. When presented with a challenge that draws me closer to him each day....I love that! Anything that is taking up time and space in my brain and fills it with His warmth and love for me...well...why would I not be up for something like that.

Quickest way to lose weight!

In case you have ever wondered just how much weight you could lose immediately....well....here ya go!

Procedure Estimated Immediate Weight Loss

Clip finger and toenails 1 ounce maximum

Haircut 2-6 ounces
Drastic Haircut / Headshave 4-12 ounces
Trim Body Hair 1 oz. (ladies) 3 oz. (men) 24 lbs (Greek men)

Remove a wart 1 oz.

Take a diuretic 1-3 pounds (temporary)
Take a laxative 1-2 pounds (temporary)
Colon Therapy / Take an Enema 2-3 pounds (temporary)
Poop 0-2 pounds (temporary)

Run a marathon on a hot day 3 lbs (women), 5 lbs (men) (temporary)

Amputate your arm 10-25 lbs (way too permanent)
Amputate your leg 15-45 lbs (again, not advised)

Vascetomy none.

Take a big pee. up to 1.5 pounds
Take a big dump up to 2.5 pounds

Go barefoot 1-2 pounds
Go Naked 1-8 pounds (summer vs. winter)

Contact lenses vs. Glasses 0.3 pounds

No liquids all day 1-2 pounds
No food all day 2-3 pounds
No salt all day 0-1 pound

Don't wear underwear 1 oz. (thong)-2 lbs. (granny panties)

Exfoliating face wash nothin.

Liposuction 10 lbs maximum per surgery

Donate a kidney 3 pounds.

Breast Reduction Surgery 5-15 pounds typically.

So, which one would you choose?

Top 10 reasons it's good to be off on the weekends

#10. Sleeping in! Although I have not mastered the art of this yet, I'm sure eventually I will.

#9. I can actually celebrate at family parties with my family!!!

#8. Much more time to get homework finished! (not that I did that this weekend)

#7. Garage sales on Saturday mornings!!!

#6. Cleaning my house house SPOTLESS!!!! Now I need someone to come visit me!!!

#5. Having a nice long lunch with the "divas" Me, Emilie, and her friend Audrey.

#4. Spending some much needed couch time with my first husband!

#3. Going to the movie with Chad, the kids, and 500 other FEDEX employees!

#2. Going to a soccer game and being a total soccer mom!!! (making my kid proud)

#1. Going to chruch, celebrating Him with my brothers and sisters, taking communion, Getting the best hugs in the world this morning, feeling like I never left, WORSHIP...WORSHIP...WORSHIP, Hearing Shane May speak in class (WOW!!), hearing an amazing sermon from Terry, and singing Days of Elijah! (oh...and I can't leave out the point where Shane recognized my return...publically! Thank God for friends!!! ) ;o)

My heart is full!!!

Keep your eye on the ball

I have to say I laughed hystercially not only at the play....but the announcer.

Take it....it's free!!!

I was in the checkout line at Wal-mart....having a very peaceful morning. Nothing to distract me, nobody to bother me, just me and the checkout machine. You could say that I was very self absorbed in my shopping experience.

I headed to the door and out of the corner of my eye I see this lady coming for me. She caught me off guard.....

Wal-mart Lady: "Mamm...would you like a bottle of Coke this morning?"

Me: "No Thank You"

Wal-mart Lady: "Really? It's free"

Me: "No...but thank you"

Wal-mart Lady: "How do you not want a free Coke?"

Me: "I'm not sure, I just really don't want one" (now we are both starting to laugh and I"m taking more time in this conversation than I really wanted to)

Wal-mart Lady: "I have tried to give away free Coke all morning and nobody will take any! I don't know what the problem is"

Me: "Well, I think it because usually, when we (as consumers) are given something that is free, we are suckered into coming over to the table, looking at the rest of the product, analyzing something, and then well, buying something else"

The Wal-mart Lady agreed, and thought she may need a different approach.

Me: "Tell you what, I will take your first bottle of Coke today and listen to anything you want to tell me"

Wal-mart Lady: "Really, I don't have anything to say...I just wanted you to have a free Coke" (She says while laughing with a huge smile)


Wow! How many times have you looked away when someone wanted to give you something for free? It's usually at the fair! "Here...take this sample...oh and if you have time...let's set up an appointment"

It made me think on the way home, how many times does God try to give us something, and we turn our head the other way? Come over to his table, eat his food, drink his "coke" (okay...not really) but you get the picture. How many times do we take it forgranted what it is that we should be receiving?

This Sunday is going to be a huge day for me. It will be normal for everyone else around me, but in my heart, it is bigger than ever. I get to celebrate once again on a Sunday morning how much my God loves me and I love Him. I feel sorry for people that are believers, but don't go to church. How can you possibly be living for the Lord when your not celebrating his life each week with His children?
I got over "playing church" long ago and started "living church". I don't do it all right but I do try. I want my God to be the center of my attention in all that I do. I know I screw that up all the time. Okay....DAILY! But he loves me anyway and I love that about Him. He allowed me to go through a hard year just to see how much my heart really needed Him.

If I can convey what I'm trying to say is that don't take forgranted what you have. Not at home,not at work, not in your neighborhood, not at church and not at Wal-mart. Tomorrow it could be gone. Today it could be gone. Savor every moment. Live in His peace. Live in His presence. Dance with everyone watching. Live like everybody is watching. Love like everybody is watching. Praise like everybody is watching so that when others see you, they may see the God in you.

On Call!

Last night I worked my last "official" night as a permanent employee. Now I'm on call and um...yeah...they waste no time. I've already been called in for tonight.

Last night was a bitter sweet night. We were busy! And I also have a dear friend that is fighting for his life while I am there working.

Sometimes in our profession, we have to step to the side and let God do His work. My friend, by all clinical means, should not be alive right now. But when we gave up, God took over and has given us 3 more priceless days with him. I look forward to each minute he still has here on earth and we are all giving God the glory.

24 hours

When I started this blog I said I would never blog about the bad days but quite frankly, I can't do that today. The past 24 hours for me has been what I consider hell. (there, now my blog is no longer rated G)

My children are at an age now where they are trying to claim and find their independence. So much that it is at my expense.

I love them dearly, but in the past 24 hours they have treated me worse than they would treat our dog. Doesn't make me love them less, but sure makes me not like their behavior at that moment.

I reached an all time high breaking point this morning with emotional overload. I called several people, but none answered. I think it was a sign that God just wanted me to deal with it at that moment alone and rely on Him.

But what I feel is I can no longer do this. I can't be all things to all people. I only have what I have and that's it. I give all of myself away to everyone else and save nothing for me. Even though I feel I am one of the most selfish persons in the world, I give it all away! My love, my heart, my time, my everything so that for one moment, I can see someone smile. That makes me feel good inside! Where did I go wrong?

Today was supposed to be a good day. I have my recital later today and now...the words of this song I will sing will be so profound it's not even funny. Not even sure I can make it through.
I sit here and cry, have trouble breathing, and just can't compose myself any longer. I can't walk in with a smile and say I'm okay. I'm not.

I don't ask for prayers, because I'm too prideful. I don't like being vulnerable.
It's a hard concept for me to know that when I am down, others are there to pick me up. I don't like people to see me cry and moreso, I don't like them to see me angry. Today, the real me decided to come out and play and we haven't been having a good time. The sympathetic me is wiping the tears of the real me and still searching for the part of me that is just willing to let it all go and be free to be me.

Conversations with Lukus

Me: Lukus, can I have a hug?

Lukus: Yeah

Me: I love you

Lukus: I love you too (then he starts to say something else...but struggles)

Me: What? Did you want to say something else?

Lukus: Yeah...I hope when I get to Heaven, you are the first one I see.

Me: (you know...it left me speechless)

WiFi, Restuarnts, and SHEER FRUSTRATION!

The favorite WiFi hotspot for me and Theresa has been IHOP!

2 nights ago, I suggested we go to Panara Bread to get a change of scenery. I had an excellent dinner but had very little success connecting to the internet. I tried my best not to get frustrated, but it did not work. I finally gave up and felt bad for leaving Theresa there to study by herself. But the frustration took over because my classes are online. I needed internet! I went home and all was fine. I was able to finish a project that night.

Last night, we decided to go to IHOP but instead of going to our usual place on 71st, I suggest 31st since it's closer to my house. Well, we get there and guess what....NO INTERNET! My thoughts were not even right at this moment. I was extreemly frustrated but felt I kept a pretty level head compared to the night before.
So we had only ordered drinks and decided to pack everything up and head to 71st where we belong.
But just to add one little note here, I was frustrated that we had to pay for a full cup of coffee that wasn't drank, and my pop was only 1/2 gone. You think they would have been sympathetic enough to not charge us. But no. We pay, and we're gone.

We get to 71st and it feels like home! Yes, IHOP feels like home now.
We have the best service, the internet works like a charm and all is well. I wanted to be home before 10:00 and we didn't leave until 11:00.

The frustrated me is the part of me I don't like. Anyone can tell by the look on my face when I am frustrated. My eyes can never tell a lie. People usually see right through me.

I wonder if Jesus EVER got frustrated. It's certainly a trait that I do not want to continue to carry. When there is an emotion such as anger, frustration, diappointment, etc. I try to think of something that I can usually put in it's place. For me, it's usually laughter and happiness. At this point in the semester it's really hard to find something to be happy about when I'm thinking of school work. But I have so much to be happy about, such a great family that I love, friends that I couldn't live without, and a God who loves me no matter what my attitude is.

What else do I need?

Priceless

If we all had this confidence at age 6! You have to listen all the way to the end of the song.

Priceless Moments

Do you ever wonder in life just how many times you forget to tell someone that you love them?
There is one person at church that reminds me every week that I should never foget to tell Chad how much I love him everyday. Well, I believe that I probably do tell him everyday, but it's usually late in the evening and the whole day has gone by without me letting him know.
There's something special about Chad. It's in his eyes, his smile, his heart, and quite frankly, I feel I am way too lucky to have him in my life.
Do we argue? Yes! Do we agree? Yes! Do we love eachother unconditianally? Yes!

I think the older I have have gotten, the more I have grown to love his sense of humor and his playful attitude. Does he push my buttons? Absolutely! But I love him for challanging me to be different as well as being myself.

I love him today, loved him yesterday, and will love him for an eternity. I can't imagine life without him.


Thank you Theresa for capturing these amazing moments!

Chaos, Neglect, and Risk!

How many risk do you take in your life everyday?

You take a risk with something nearly every moment in some way, you just don't realize it.

What do you think we risk by tackling the important things in life and letting the little things go? How do you know what is little and what is big?

Today...my house is a mess. No...it's a wreck. Now, there are 5 people in this house and I've been gone the past 48 hours so I know I didn't totally let this go all by myself. I truly had help in not doing anything! ;o)
But why do I care? Nobody comes over! Nobody but me will see it! It's just me living in a house of chaos! (note: it will be clean by 1:00 ha!)

What happens is I have negelected it. I've neglected to sort things, clean things, do laundry, and put things away. I negelected to prioritize my week last week so everything didn't get done.

what would happned if I did that with my spiritual walk? If I neglect my inner spirit, then what happens to my spiritual life? It too would be in chaos!

Constantly God tells us not to ignore the great salvation of God!
Hebrews 2:1-4 (The Message)
It's crucial that we keep a firm grip on what we've heard so that we don't drift off. If the old message delivered by the angels was valid and nobody got away with anything, do you think we can risk neglecting this latest message, this magnificent salvation? First of all, it was delivered in person by the Master, then accurately passed on to us by those who heard it from him. All the while God was validating it with gifts through the Holy Spirit, all sorts of signs and miracles, as he saw fit.

Long ago David gave us these words that we can always run back to:
Psalm 119:14-16.
"I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches.
I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways.
I delight in your decrees;
I will not neglect your word."

When I choose to live in the worldly chaos, I do neglect His word and that is one thing I can not risk! Are you willing to risk living any other way?

How random can you get?

I just finished working the strangest weekend I have ever worked. Not necessarily because of "what" I did but "how long" I worked. I worked a total of 38.5 hours in 48 hours. That does not provide enough sleep at all. There's a tremendous need in the medical profession and well, I am a part of that need. I'm happy to do it, but I don't ever want to work like that again.

There is a strange thing about sleep deprivation. You start to see things that are not there, your entire body aches and well, you're just not yourself. When talking to Theresa last night, she would tell me that the things I have been saying are so random. I know I didn't make any sense at all and then when I tried, well, it just got worse. It will take me a few days to catch up on my sleep and get back to normal.

So my countdown is now in the teens. I can't wait! I'll be sad to not be with my work family every weekend, but not enough that I am willing to give up anymore time at church.

Over the past week I have received 13 letters from Universities awaiting my transfer to their college for me to complete my BSN and MSN. It's helped so much being part of the honor society. So today was my 13th letter and here are the places that have called: University of Texas at Tyler
University of Pheonix
University of Southern Alabama
University of Oklahoma
University of Southern Mississippi
Oklahoma Baptist University
Oklahoma State University
Oklahoma Weslleyan University
St. Xavier University in Illinois
Walden University in Baltimore
Vanderbuilt University
Philadelphia University
Texas A&M in Corpus Christi
I also received 2 strange calls! One from the Army and one from the Marines! When they asked me why I wouldn't consider a medical career with them, I said, I'm too old, too tired and have too many kids. I think I've already been through bootcamp!

So, I'll give you one opportunity to guess which University I will choose! There si one I would really like to go to...and then one I will be going to! Anyone care to take a guess at those two?

Photos by Theresa!!!!!

While still feeling HORRIBLE and I mean HORRIBLE....Theresa and I decided to get beautiful today and go out to the park for a photo shoot! Here's a few of my favs!

Out of the habit!

I use to be really good at listening and making eye contact. It was something I practiced often.

Over the past year, with all the changes in my life, I have noticed that I'm not always that great of a listener and my eye contact....well...it has become uncomfortable once again.

Wednesday night at church, I was walking down the hall and spoke with one woman but totally disregarded another for a few moments. For one thing, I NEED to start wearing my glasses. From a distance, I didn't even recognize her. Then I totally engaged in another conversation with the other woman while the one I ignored just stood by helplessly. When I turned my head and made direct eye conctact with her, I was toatlly humiliated! I was on a mission to pick up the kids, but totally disregarded a friend and sister in Christ. She didn't act offended but we did have a good laugh about it.

Do you ever feel disregarded at church? I can't say that I do and I don't want to do that to others. Is it possible for a minister or elder to feel disregarded on any given Sunday? You think since they are in the spotlight, that everyone regards who they are.

I pray today that God opens my eyes to see past my moments of rushing around to pick up kids, to regard those that may need a hug today.

I will spend forever making sure this person is acknowledged everytime I see her again!

Do you have extra in your life?

Yesterday, my mom asked me if I had any extra backpacks laying around. I thought of one and told her I would send it to school tomorrow. She has a little boy in the class who is bringing one that is torn and well, just not even fit for a child to carry around. She could go buy one, but she knows me well enough that I probably have extra.
When we were walking out of school, I told Lukus there is a boy in need of one and we're going to give him one of ours.
To my surprise.....Lukus said: "Here mom, I'll take my stuff out of this one and the boy can have mine"
My heart was overjoyed! This is my boy!

So this got me thinking. Christmas is coming up. So I asked the kids yesterday,
"If you could have one gift, and one only for Christmas, and nothing else...would you be happy?"
Now, it took a couple of moments and thoughts in their heads but I went on....

"I am thinking about not giving gifts at all this year and just going and helping the poor...finding a homless man...giving him a blanket...taking them gloves, hats, even food....what do you guys think?"

Well...the wheels started turning in their minds and they started coming up with all the things they could do.

Emilie said: Do you think we could ask people to donate some blankets, or even the gloves or hats?

Lukus said: Why don't we just take our blankets and give them away?

Ian said: I can get any gift I want??? (Okay..he was still off subject...but I knew his heart was there)

So, we're looking at taking our kids downtown and to the places in Tulsa where people don't want to go and give them something at christmas to put a smile on their face and make their day. It won't be much...as we don't have much, but we have a lot...and knowing my kids want to be givers instead of takers, touches my heart!!!

YOU ARE LOVED TODAY!

Something I use to do very well is give up! I lived of a life of thinking I wasn't loved and if I disappeared, nobody would notice.

Well...life changed for me about 6 years ago and I've never thought that since. Instead of Satan attacking me personally now, he goes after everything else I love in life. But still, I choose to never give up.

There were, and are today, people in my life who have and will never give up on me. I recognize that there are people out in the world that are suffering from the disappointing lies that Satan is telling them about themselves.
They need to know how much they are loved.

Do someone a favor today and this week and if you know of someone that might not be told often enough, tell them how much you love them.
You may just assume that someone is very loved and they may be so empty on the inside.

Send a card, an e-mail, a phone call, let them know how much they mean to you in your life. One day they may be gone and you will never get this opportunity. Don't let it slip by. Just when you think they may know is probably just about the time they need to hear it.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 1 John 4:7-8

Watch this video and be blessed today!

God Opportunites

I only have 3 weekends left until my schedule at work changes. I think I'm quite excited about this. Really...no...I'm REALLY EXCITED about this. The past year and a half have gone by fast at times and very slow at times. I recognize the slow times as a way to draw me farther from our Father. But now that it's here, I really feel like this time has flown by.

I had many opportunites to minister to our patients. Many times to pray with them, hold their hand and cry with them. It makes me realize that all the work I am going through is worth it in the end.

I wonder what God would say to me when I get to Heaven?
Would he say "This is what I intended for you to do"
Would he say "You did a great job"
Would he say "You sacrificed enough"
Would he say "Job well done"

I know, I know, he'd say all those things and so much more. He makes me feel good about the road I am taking in life. He gives me so many opportunites to minister everyday, and then gives me opportunities to be ministered to. Life is one big ministry. I'm so happy to be a part of it.

Funny stuff!

The song I sing everyday!!!

Tulsa State Fair...

The storm came rolling in!
I'm starting to think like Theresa when I take pictures!
Waiting...waiting...waiting!
Ian is great at crashing bumper cars!
Don't even ask!
Foot massage anyone?
Let's fly the kites!!!
Do you see what I see?
Oh no! We're going up!
We rode this many times!
Some great moments to share from the fair. Yes, we did get to ride rides before the rain came in.

Powerful.....

Your actions will always follow your beliefs!

I pray that with all my actions, I give God the glory!

Dry Gulch 2007

Here are a few pictures from our dry gulch trip!
These were the boys in my cabin. Boy! They look so sweet and innocent here! This was just the first day!


There were stick pony races!
And smiling faces!

A few games of pool!
And lots of dancing too!
Nothing was better than go karts in the rain!

Looking Satan in the face....

Today I sit here and deal with an ugly situation in my life. I can cope with it. It's really no big deal. I'm not sad, depressed, upset, and hey..I'm not even crying. (this is a first) However, what frightens me the most is how much of a role I can see Satan playing in this. That's scary for me. Nothing frightens me more than Satan does. The thought of looking him in the face and watching him laugh terrifies me. However, I do it everyday. I see sin around me, beside me and in front of me. How I deal with it is important.

God answers my prayers. He does so every day. I see it, I hear it and it is very evident what he does for me. For that I am so greatful! It seems when God is blessing me beyond belief, Satan is doing everything possible to get me to screw up.

I have only 4 weekends left at work before I can spend time once again with my church family. I believe that Satan is a mad as fire about that. I'm sure he is spitting nails right now. And that's okay. There are going to be aspects of this change that I am sure he is going to try to affect. Most of all, financially. I think he will do his best to try and hit us where it hurts, and we are already bracing ourselves for a rough ride.
This past year has been one that he has had such glory in making miserable for me. I have faced evil, deciet, tempation, lies, gossip, and so much more. Some of them appeared slower and some of them all hit at the same time. I have noticed that the closer we get to the end of October, the worse some of this is getting. The force that he is putting on me is huge. The weight of some things that I am facing are becoming more and more difficult.
Last night I wondered why. And that's when I figured it out. I've made Satan so mad that he's doing everything he can to get me to screw up. And screw up big.

But no. I can't let that happen. I can't allow his power to over step the power that God has given me. I'm strong and I can handle whatever I face.
I feel over the past year I have stared Satan in the face many times.
This is not a game. This is real life stuff. Stuff that could make or break me and through the power of prayer, I can and will overcome.

I called Theresa last week and asked her "Are you not praying hard enough for me?"
I had just about had all I could take. But realized that it wasn't her that needed to be on her knees for me...it was me that needed to spend more time in prayer.

God heard my plea and answered. I faced Satan again yesterday, but with a huge shield of armor of God around me. My eyes are open, they see clearly, and I know that God has never left me, he just needs me to think for myself and not give up. Through all of this, he has made me a much stronger woman than I could have ever imagined.

Different...

Do you ever notice your a change in yourself when you are tired? I am a totally different person when I am tired! I'm become the quiet introvert! It's pretty amusing to me. It's not that often that I get this tired.

I spent the past 3 days at Dry Gulch camp with over 200 6th graders from Ian's middle school. Now, everyone who knows me really knows this is not my thing. I go to camp once a year with our kiddos from church and I absolutely love it. Now I have been to Dry Gulch and love it too. Do you think that God is working on me? This is not one of my strengths but maybe now it is becoming one of them.

I was put into a bunk with Ian and 14 other boys. This was very challenging to say the least. But I couldn't have asked for a better group of well behaved boys. I got my bluff in with them early so they knew I meant business and didn't try any funny stuff.

We did so much stuff there that I can't possibly name it all. I have to say that my favorite had to be the horseback riding. I had to laugh though because I was riding a muel! Not a horse.

We danced quite a bit this week, I made some new friends with the moms and dads that went, and had some bonding one on one time with Ian. It was a great week. They don't do this again until the 8th grade and I am already looking forward to then.

And on an ending note...I just have to say...I love my kids. I know at times they are so diffcult to be around...but I truly love them. Not only because I am their mom, but because they are truly great kids. I could just sit and watch them all day and never get tired of it. I love their questions, their curiosity, and their laughs. Kids are so fun and innocent and I love that God wants us to be childlike because I think I achieved that this week. But right about now, that is all catching up with my actual age.

Oh...and one more final note...following that last ending note....;o)
The kids had an assignment to get together and write a song to present to the entire camp on Thursday morning. There were 22 bunks that presented their songs and can you believe....MY BUNK CABIN WON!!! I helped them write lyrics to "We will rock you" and they loved it. They wern't the only group to use that song, but we were the only group with cool lyrics to it. I was very proud of them for winning. They did a great job.

Okay...off to bed!

Can you imagine...

Watch to the end...you'll be impressed!

My chains are gone.....

No TV!

I've been trying something new lately. It's No TV. I have come to find I like the peace and quiet much more. My thoughts are more clear. I feel I have more patience and I feel just an overwhelming sense of calm.

Now...if I could only do that with the phone and the internet...I'd have it made!

I'm such a proud mom!

Today has just really been a "peaceful" day for me and that is not normal in our house. So many good things have been happening and it's so nice.
One thing...I have not been able to go to Lukus' soccer games in over a year and today they had a makeup game...AND I GOT TO GO! My mom came along as well as Dan, Theresa, and the kids. Chad was there of course pacing back and forth being a soccer dad. Theresa captured these great pics for me!




They didn't win the game but it doesn't matter. This boy certainly has won my heart from the first day he took his first breath. I always ask my kids "Do I love you enough" and they never fail to tell me yes!

Today...is a good day!

Song of my morning...

Lord I come to you
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace I've found in you

And lord I come to know
The weakness I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of your love

Hold me close, let your love surround me
Bring me near, draw me to your side
And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with you, your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love

Lord unveil my eyes, let me see you face to face
The knowledge of your love as you live in me
And lord renew my mind, as your will unfolds in my life
In living everyday, by the power of your love

Hold me close, let your love surround me
Bring me near, draw me to your side
And as I wait I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with you, your spirit leads me on
In the power of your love

HOLD ME CLOSE...LET YOUR LOVE SURROUND ME
BRING ME NEAR...DRAW ME TO YOUR SIDE
AND AS I WAIT...I'LL RISE UP LIKE THE EAGLE
AND I WILL SOAR WITH YOU, YOUR SPIRIT LEADS ME ON
IN THE POWER OF YOUR LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I get this often

So last Friday night we went out with Dan & Theresa and the waitress said in her country accent "Oh you look like Trisha Yearwood"
It wasn't a surprise as I hear that often, however, I just don't see it. You can compare below. A pic of Trisha, and one from me taken that night....which is just ridiculous.

COUNTDOWN!!!

Myspace Countdown or Myspace Layouts

What did He see?

Do you ever wonder what it would be like if you couldn't see? How would that effect you? Whould it change your outlook on life? I wonder....
I have a friend and her husband became blind several years ago from a surgery he had. He has vision only out of one eye and his vision is like looking through a pinhole out into the world. To me, that is very frustrating.

I often wonder about my own eyesight. I have enough problems seeing correctly because I don't enjoy wearing my glasses. However, that's not the eyesight I'm referring to. It's my "I-sight" in my christian life. I try to be conscience of this but it gets away from me. The way I view myself is not the way that God intened in the beginning. My I-sight usually comes from what others have said, done, or things my ears have heard but not at all what God sees in me. Let's just say that my vision is somewhat blurred.

So who can correct my vision? Is it just me? Or do we need our optomitrist "Dr. G" (that would be God) to do a little laser eye correction on us?
There is a verse in a song we sing:
Open my eyes, to what you see
To understand what I should be
My feelings get, the best of me
Open my eyes, to what you see.

How can I focus on seeing what God sees in me and looking at others the way He looks at them. That's the Christian I want to be.
Matthew 9:35-40
35Jesus went through all the towns and villages, teaching in their synagogues, preaching the good news of the kingdom and healing every disease and sickness. 36When he saw the crowds, he had compassion on them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37Then he said to his disciples, "The harvest is plentiful but the workers are few. 38Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field."

What is so funny?

Rarely do I ever get a good night sleep. Especially when I know I have to get up early the next day. One of our biggest problems is Emilie coming in and waking us in the middle of the night saying she had a bad dream.

So last night was no different, other than she came in more than once. But the night was different for me. For some reason, about 3:30am I started laughing uncontrollably in my sleep. So bad I was snorting!!! At some point, I woke Chad up by my uncontrollably shaking and snorting. He didn't say anything to me, but he assurred me that he turned over and rolled his eyes. I don't know how long this episode lasted, but whatever it was, it sure was funny.

I fully believe that God gives us the ability to dream. I'm not sure about the message that comes across though. I haven't quite figured out if he's trying to tell me something or not. But I am so happy that we have a God that will allow me to not only cry in my sleep, but laugh uncontrollably!

God's pleading...me being real.

Do you ever think that God is pleading with you to make some type of change in your life? Could be spiritual...which would be the first thought. But also how about physical or emotional?

In the physical sense, maybe God is pleading with us to get in shape and be physically fit. "Dear brothers, I plead with you to give your bodies to God as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God, this is your spiritual act of worship" (Romans 12:1).

How about emotional...maybe He is asking from something of us there. (Philippians 4:6)Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

For me right now it is controlling my tongue in so many ways. Whether it be with my family, my kids, my friends, or a stranger on the street. I want to reveal God's love with everyone I meet. When I get comfortable in a friendship, satan takes a hold of my tongue and gets me off course.

I think the fact that I can recognize it is the biggest start. I pray that God forgives me when I not only hurt others, but myself and most of all Him.

Live on the G-list....GOD'S LIST!!!

I'm not one for gossip, but I got glued to the television this morning when I heard the ladies on the view talking about Kathy Griffin. Here is some info:

LOS ANGELES -- Before Kathy Griffin won a creative arts Emmy last weekend for her reality show, "My Life on the D-List," she joked that an award would move her to the C-list.

She was right: "C" as in censored. The TV academy said her raucous acceptance speech will be edited when the event, which was taped, is shown Saturday on the E! channel. The main prime-time Emmy Awards air the next night on Fox.

"Kathy Griffin's offensive remarks will not be part of the E! telecast on Saturday night," the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences said in a statement Monday.

In her speech, Griffin said that "a lot of people come up here and thank Jesus for this award. I want you to know that no one had less to do with this award than Jesus."
She went on to hold up her Emmy, make an off-color remark about Christ and proclaim, "This award is my god now!"
The comedian's remarks were condemned Monday by Catholic League President Bill Donohue, who called them a "vulgar, in-your-face brand of hate speech."

According to the TV academy and E!, when the four hour-plus ceremony is edited into a two-hour program, Griffin's remarks will be shown in "an abbreviated version" in which some language may be bleeped.

I am so pleased to hear that they will be editing her remarks. I understand free-speech, but I do believe there is a line you don't cross and this is one o those.

I pray for Kathy and that she will come to know the God that I know.

I have a dream....

In our town we have many Church's of Christ. In my life, I have been members of 3 of these congregations.

This summer we went to Jr. Camp with one of the other churches and we had some great discussions about their church, our church, and the others as well. I loved that we all came to the same conclusion...."We are all one body of Christ".

We discussed all the things we could do together and how powerful we could be if we got our two churches together. Camps, night's of praise, picnic's, softball tournaments, etc. and inviting our outside neighbors for the fun of all of it.
Even on Workshop Wednesday....what if we only had 1 place to go and we were all there together??? HOW COOL WOULD THAT BE? Do you know how many people leave from one church and go to another on that night so that they can get a taste of everything that is going on and see friends in both places? What if we had it all in just one location! One big celebration. Do we not do it because one church wants chicken and the other wants pizza? I certainly think that we can have our cake and eat it too!

I am all about seeking the lost outside our 4 walls of the church building. Our Father wants that from us. I'm sad about those that leave other congregations that are not happy. I'm sad for those that leave ours too. I believe within our walls we have so many that are lost and are still searching for something. How do we identify what IT is? How do we help those within our family so that we can be glorifying God together which will eventaully lead us to our friends outside that we haven't met yet? What it is that we, or any other church, is lacking?

I left the church I grew up in after my family left and I graduated high school. I wasn't mad and feel very loved when I return. I can't pinpoint the reason we left exactly, but I think for me it was an identity thing. I went there my entire life and when my parents quit going, I was bombarded with questions of why and when are they returning. Those are questions I did not have answers for and still do not.

About 3 years later we joined another church after the birth of our first child. They loved on us and it immediately became home to us. We stayed there for 9 years and loved it. As things changed for our family, location was huge for us. We needed something closer to home so we decided it was time for another change...but didn't know what God was going to do for us.

Now we live 4 minutes from our church family and it feels like home. We love it, can't get enough of it, and they truly make us feel like we are special. We are not special, we are God's chosen children and that is what is important. What excites me is that this church doesn't have to make us feel special, but they do. Without even trying. They do it in so many ways and I am the lucky one. I am blessed!

So my sadness comes in when I feel a part of 3 church families that don't really interact with eachother. We do some occasional things together, but I'm talking support. We're in the same town! As I watch these two struggle, I can't help but think...how can we show Kingdom love and Kingdom support to them?
What if we just show up for one of their church services on a Sunday and surprise them? Let them know we are on their side. What if we hold a picnic in their honor....and invite them? What if we join them at their place for the workshop shindig, what if we do missions together, what if we camp together, what if, what if, what if???? I could go on all day!

It maybe far fetched...but it's my way of saying..."I have a dream"

Misson work on Youtube?

Can you do mission work through Youtube??? I think so!
Last year we made the video of Ian regarding Aspergers Syndrome. I left it posted on Youtube.com and left it open to any comments. I have been surprised at the things others have said. Especially from all around the world. I'll share a few with you!
hey hello
my name's benito
am living in brussels the capital of europe
i was diagonosed with asperger when i was 15
onestly i grater never would've know it

i think the best would be if you don't let your son go to deep init
not make him think that he's much diffrent
it can be a gift sometimes if you learn how to juse it
i am 18 know an still strugglin with it , but am getting trough
am sure you're son will to
keep him bussy as posible
and guide him trough , and eventwully he'll make it trough
i never had any help for it , i had to find it all out my self , i have it verry hard with doing stuff that i don't control my self , like working for a boss and stuff , but thats all a thought , if you afraid to lose you can be certain that you will lose ..
am sure he'll find his way
try to understand him because he dosen't understand himself
though i tell my self that am no diffrent that am just making excuses , it is harder
every corner i have to think and think and think to make it trough ,
guide him trough his hard times and am verry sure that he'll make it ...
well justed wanted to say hello and give my respeckt
much luv from brussels
benito

for Ian
Never give up, Be yourself, yes life is hard, but that is what will make you stronger. I would like to share with you with a story that has helped me in my life

In Australia there grows eucaliptus trees. Left alone the tree can grow to an astounding hight within the space of just a couple of years. Unfortunately something else is present in Australia and that is high winds. As you probably know the part of the tree we can see i.e. the trunk and branches grow much much faster than the roots so these left alone trees which are very tall but have developed very shallow roots get blown over and ripped out of the ground. However luckily for the trees there is something else in Austrailia that eats eucaliptus trees, the koala bear. The koala eats the shoots and leaves of the tree which makes it grow a lot slower which gives the roots a chance to grow deep and strong into the earth. These trees when the winds come are able to withstand the force due to their deep strong roots. This story may seem a bit wierd but look at it this way: we are like the trees and the koalas are like all of the bad things people say or do to to us. They hurt like mad as if we are being eaten away at, but it makes us grow strong roots so that when bigger challenges come such as the strong wind for the trees we are more able to handle it.

Friendship is hard to find in this world sometimes but you will make it, I believe in you
God Bless you
iamanaspy

Thanks so much for the information. I am not yet sure how I will procede. I know my son will not be receptive to the idea... as he already verbalizes how much he dislikes me reading books, etc. on child behavior.
He doesn't get in a lot of trouble at school, it's just I don't think they truly understand him. He can be very shy, independent, confident, argumentative and shut-down so easily that I think they view him as stubborn, rude, arrogant and disrespectful (but very smart)..... and this is the reason I am considering having him evaluated... as you said, without the diagnosis, there isn't a whole lot you can do with the school. But also, so that we can help him help himself. Academically he is doing just fine, even tested as gifted, and excels in math... it's mainly social skills.

My greatest fear is getting him "labeled" and that it would be a mistake... then it would be something that I could never take back. For my son, Adam, I feel that he is on the mild end of the spectrum and that it is more of a personality than anything that requires medications,etc. I was hoping to have a heart-to-heart with his teacher at the start of the school year and avoid having him diagnosed...but maybe I'm just in denial. How does your son handle the diagnosis? Do you make other parents and children aware of the diagnosis? I understand it is all in how it is presented, that it is not a disease, just characteristics, etc... I just want to do the right thing.
Tammy- Tulsa, OK

Let me talk about me....

There are a few things about me that I don't include in the everyday conversation...I was a banker for 12 years, a figure Ice skater 10 years, played the piano for 5 years (but still love to play), I was in winterguard/colorguard and very competitive, and was an equestrian rider for most of my childhood. Most of the time, these things just don't come up. Big things or little things...most of the time I just don't think about it. Funny though, I remember the bad more vividly than I remember the good.

I went recently to speak again at a baptist church for their womens ministry. Now granted, I have no education background in ministry and not really qualified to speak before them, but ran a pretty good women's ministry when we went to Jenks church. But these ladies wanted me to share some of the same stories of sturggles and trials that I went through in my life with some of their newer members. It was a touching time as they had so many questions.

I made my life out into a time line of events that I feel I have survived and overcome through the grace of God. I shared some pretty sad pictures and funny ones too. They were touched and I was happy to see that what I have been through can be used to glorify God and to help others.

5 years ago I went through Pathways so that I could learn to face things head on and deal with the things that would come up.
Back then, I probably would have considered suicide. Not really my first option, but some of those days I felt it was my only option.
Sure, I knew God, and I loved Him so much. That's why I decided not to make that selfish decision. My life was falling apart and I needed to find hope and faith and strength and love. This is where I found my mission statement for my life..."I am a strong woman with love and power, resting securely in the arms of God" What else needs to be said after that? I found what I needed.

I get excited and I laugh now when people assume that I never stuggle in life. I struggle all the time. Most of the time, only my closest friends know about it.
I think about being abused DAILY! I think about losing my marriage DAILY! I think about losing a son DAILY! I think about birth defects DAILY! I think about it....and think about it...and think about it.
I always have wanted to use these struggles in ways to help others out.
I've lived a good life. One lady argued with me that my life didn't sound that great. Especially my childhood. But I had to remind her that if I didn't have faith in God, I wouldn't be here today. God is my answer to all my sufferings. Not that he wants me to suffer, but he wants me to survive.

I'm strong. And I love that about me. I'm not a victim, I'm a survivor.
And everday that I breathe, I survive something else.